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The counselor, after consulting with Cap- that with the mingled shrewdness of liis na- “ Born here in this island of Cuba, whitb. tain Belknap at Christmas-time and seeing tive land, and his acquired learning and ac- er Walsingham had brought her, it was bis him off for Havana, had himself taken ship complishment, the old secluded star-gazer first act of cruelty to ber to take away this for Denmark.

made the most admirable of embassadors. daughter and to put her in the care of his He was a Norseman, and loved the sea ; He and Counselor Federstahl unlocked the own mother, a Roman Catholic lady, living so, instead of traveling by steam, he loved doors of poor Belknap's prison, and brought in Havana. For the difference of their faith better to trust himself to Æolus and Neptune, him back to life and light, where all the zeal, was the first cause of separation between the and went home in a sailing.vessel. This, go- money, and influence of the United States had husband and the wife. Walsingbam was a ing and coming, had taken him two months failed.

bigoted Catholic, and he, after quarreling on the water. When at Copenhagen, he had It was in the hospitable house of Don with his wife and deserting her, declared, by not seen newspapers which would reveal the Pedro that Belknap heard for the first time his will, that he never had been married to story of the Calypso or the loss of her cap- the romantic story whose elucidation had her, and that his daughter was illegitimate. tain. Therefore he was ignorant of both brought him such perilous consequences. This his mother believed, and, after a few events. His first thought, then, in reading Sir Mattbew was the narrator, and he shall years of care of the poor girl, sent her to the May's note, was to look back through files of tell it here:

Convent of the Sacred Heart, where she spent American and English papers, where he " When Captain Charles Walsingham her entire youth, to emerge at seventeen, and, found the story of Captain Belknap's disap- came to Santa Cruz, he fell in love, as every- like her mother, to marry at that early age. pearance.

body had done before him, with May Penell, She married a young Englishman named Sin. He then remembered the visit Father the sweetest girl on the island, and the clair. Ambrosius had paid him, the questions he greatest heiress, and, after a Airtation of “She had one friend, this otherwise friend. had asked, and the interest he had shown in three weeks, he induced her to run away less girl. It was our hospitable host, Don the fortunes of Julia Sinclair.

with him, to the great sorrow and anger of Pedro de Santillo, who had married her aunt, He next paid a visit to Sir Matthew Mac- her father, who died almost immediately after. Mrs. Walsingham's only daughter. Don Pe. donald, and they together drove to see Mrs. “The captain was married to May Pedro had never believed the story of the false Castleton.

nell on the deck of the Miranda by the navy marriage, and when, through liis wife, he inFrom this consultation May was excluded, chaplain, and of that marriage, I am, with herited the fortune of Mrs. Walsingham, he much to her distress, and it did not make one exception, the only living witness. May became the careful custodian of the rights life more agreeable to her that it left Mrs. Penell was only sixteen years of age at the of Mrs. Sinclair. She, too, had made an tCastleton in a very agitated and preoccupied time. After three years' absence Mrs. Wal- happy marriage, and, following the fortones state of mind, from which she sank into a singham returned to Santa Cruz without her of a disreputable and careless husband, herslow fever.

husband, and it was reported that he was self ignorant of her rights, and finally be Meantime Counselor Federstahl and Sir dead. She lived in great seclusion with her coming a devotee, she died in New York, Matthew Macdonald declared their intention widowed mother, and time went on, burying leaving, as you now know, one daughter, Ju. of going to Havana ; for the latter, it was as her early flight and imprudent marriage in lia Sinclair, who is the granddaughter of Mrs. remarkable a move as if one of his favorite obscurity and forgetfulness.

Castleton, the youthful niece of a youthful constellations had changed its place in the “At twenty-two years of age she mar- aunt, May Castleton. heavens. He looked over his old papers, se- ried Mr. Castleton, an English gentleman “It was to some curious instinct of affec. lected a few from the musty, yellow files that who had but just then arrived on the island, tion, some desire to see the woman whom filled his alcoves, and departed. and emerged from her seclusion.

he had so cruelly betrayed, deserted, and Poor May Castleton ! tbe bronze face of “Every thing went happily with them wronged, that Charles Walsingham owed bis Captain Belknap had remained clearly de- until a dreadful moment arrived, of which I death. Had he lived, we cannot tell what fined on her memory. She was profoundly was apprised one night by a hurried note misery he might have caused. Let us tbuok interested in all that concerned him, but she from Mrs. Castleton, saying that Manuel had Heaven that Mrs. Castleton was spared it." was allowed to remain in ignorance of the had a contest with an unknowu man, who “She must now, however painful to ber unwonted activity and agitation which her was watcbing her window, late at night—had feelings, admit the claims of her granddaugh. note to Counselor Federstahl had invoked. severely wounded him, and on her going to ter to honorable descent," said Counselor

Don Pedro de Santillo sat in his broad visit the unconscious sufferer, she had recog- Federstahl. piazza, looking out upon his sugar-canes, when nized the features of her first husband, “Yes," said Sir Matthew, sighing, “ her the two gentlemen from Santa Cruz were an- Charles Walsingham. I went immediately time has come.” The gentlemen then bade nounced to him. He was a grand old Span- to her, found her of course in a dreadful adieu to Don Pedro de Santillo, the honorable iard, courtly and hospitable. The fate of Cap- state of agitation, and on going to the pavil- old Castilian, who only had to regret that

, tain Belknap, lost-murdered, perhaps—had ion where the wounded man lay, I too rec- reading what purported to be the last will and offlicted hiin deeply, for a Spaniard's sense of ognized the features of my early friend, her testament of Mrs. Sinclair, he had paid over Hospitality is Oriental, and be was in a meas- husband.

a large sum of money to Father Ambrosius. ure responsible, so he said to himself, for the " What were we to do? He died that With what feelings Captain Belknap reunhappy gentleman's fate. Therefore, when night without recognizing me, in fact without traced his course through the Caribbean Ses Counselor Federstahl announced the object of regaining consciousness. Here was a trust- can better be imagined than told. He had their visit, and the light thrown by Manuel's ing husband living, a woman guiltless of any learned in the terrible solitude of his impris. story on the probable detention of the cap- intentional crime, and two or three innocent onment that he loved May Castleton so well tain, he was immediately aroused to action children. The secret was hers and mine that he could never redeem his pledges to and to a determination to find and free the alone. Charles Walsingham had ill-treated Julia Sinclair. He wrote her a manly letter unlucky man.

her, had deserted her, and had given her and told her the whole truth, sending her, at “But,” said he, after an hour's talk, “I every reason to believe him dead. She had

the same time, the proofs of her mother's lo have already paid half of Mrs. Sinclair's for- married in good faith another man. I took gitimacy and of her own handsome fortube. tune to Father Ambrosius."

the guilt of secrecy on my own soul, and And then, what position was he to take “ Then that is irretrievably gone," said advised her to conceal the dreadful truth. toward May Castleton ? Did he pot, in prof. the counselor; “ enough if we can release the She lost her health, grew melancholy. Mr. ing Julia's rights, take away from May what young man, and gain for her daughter the Castleton took her to Europe; she lived, re- would be dearer than life? Why bad Fate other half.”

turned, has passed the honored and respecto placed him in such a peculiar and most emSir Matthew Macdonald had been in the ed life you have seen – she and I alone barrassing situation toward the woman be English army in his youth, and had served

loved ? in Spain ; he knew the language, and he had with him a man who knew all languages. marriage to Walsingham, a daughter was as the feeling came over him tbat perbaps What language cannot a Dane speak? So born to her.

May did not love him, but perhaps had pre

over her. But in those first years of her Yet, as he thought of these things, and but no more awaited him; soft breezes wasted TH

ferred the beauty of Horace Heywood, he ness, by which the fortunes of the two ladies This was done, and, as the white hand of would look up to the flag which floated over and Mr. Castleton were arranged, and then, the bride fell on the dusky brow of the old his head, and he would remember how May | shaking hands, uttered again the now well. slave, the whole company uttered the talis. had sung to him, and with what starry eyes remembered word, “ Welbekomer."

manic word, “Welbekomer!" she had sought him out as, amid the tropi. The little schooner was waiting for him

M. E. W. S. cal odors of that lovely Christmas-night, she to take him over to Santa Cruz; he trembled sang to him our national hymn.

as he put his foot on deck, thinking of the Then a thought of deep regret would come strange, disastrous fortunes whioh had come

PROFESSIONAL BLUNDERS. over him as be remembered the sorrow he between him and his love in the past year, must bring to Mrs. Castleton, the eloquent

NHERE are certain phenomena in public old lady who had been so kind to him ; but him over, and he arrived at the well-remem- life which surprise us by their evenness here he was spared all awkwardness and all bered garden-spot just as the day was break- and the regularity of their movements. When ingratitude ; for, when the ship reached St. ing, for he and May had arranged that they these regular events are broken in upon, and Thomas, they heard that Mrs. Castleton was should meet in the early morning, in memo- are disturbed, we are quick to notice the im. dead. She had been dead several days, and ry of that first ride together to Sir Matthew pelling cause, but we fail to be impressed Miss Castleton would see no one but Sir Mat- Macdonald's.

with the wide field there is for more interrupthew Macdonald.

She came down to him, his dear young tions. We are quick enough to pass judgShe had told her daughter her story, and love-she whom he had seen so little, but ment upon railway officials whenever acci. had left her written statement for her grand- whom he had remembered so fondly, “ra- dents occur, but the great wonder is, with daugliter. Of course, May Castleton had no diant as the rosy-fingered Morning when she our immense country and our traveling publegal rights if Julia Sinclair chose to deprive chose Orion."

lic, that bridges do not break, and locomoher of them, for she, and she alone, was the They met on that shady veranda which tives run away, and steamboats explode, more lawful heir to Mrs. Castleton's property. Mr. looked into the garden, and it seemed to poor frequently than they do. And this is just as Castleton, May's brother, was, of course, Belknap as if the gates of paradise bad been true of public and of social life. deeply interested in this question. opened to him. Even the deep mourning

It is a marvel that there are not more So poor Captain Belknap, who seemed to which she wore for her mother could not mistakes made in the presence of a miscelhave become a sort of male Evangeline, al. make her other than radiant to him. Those laneous audience, when once we realize how ways approaching his love and never reaching were the garments of the past, for him would easy a matter it is to spoil a lecture or conher, had but one course to pursue. It was to be the blue of hope, the rose-color of love. cert or service by the irrelevant introduction go back to New York, see Julia Sinclair, gain Then they told all their hopes, doubts, fears, of some ludicrous element. her release of the Castleton estate, and re- and they both owned, as lovers always do, that It is a great wonder, too, when we rememturn again. He had the lover's privilege of they had loved each other from the very first. ber their power, that little children when in writing a letter, and that he did. Horace At their quiet wedding, where only a few company do not create more awkward scenes Heywood met lim at the dock is the steain- very intimate friends assisted, Horace again by lugging in of contraband subjects of con. er from Havana landed the captain again on met his Danish beauties, and presented to

versation. his own shores, and relieved his mind with them his wife. Miss Lingenbrod gave him A story is told of a celebrated American these words:

one reproachful look out of her black eyes, preacher who was reproved by a friend be“I have a secret to tell you, Belknap. I then left him to the repentance and ignominy cause he got off so many funny things from hope it will not be disagreeable to you. Ju- of matrimony; a married beauty and flirt has

the pulpit. lia has consented to be mine! Your letter many such stabs.

“Really, now, my dear brother," said the releasing her arrived just in time to prevent Captain Belknap had no such flattering | friend, “I cannot come to hear you any more my writing out to you to ask it. Now she is farewells from the blue orbs of Miss Stridiron until you promise me not to joke so !” waiting to embrace you as the dearest of or Miss Feddersen. He was one of the men “Well, my dear friend," replied the brothers !"

whom few women love, but whom one woman preacher, "if you only knew how many such Julia did indeed throw herself into the worships.

things came up to the surface which I didn't arms of the man who had done so much for The negroes, headed by Manuel, came get off, you would give me credit for the few her. She knew very well now that, even if trooping down the garden - walks singing a which do slip out!” she had been a little in love with him, it wild bymn of rejoicing; mingled in with it If, as it has been said, there is something was nothing to be ashamed of, for he was was a wail for “poor dead mistress," which sad in the sight of a large audience, there are very worthy of it; and, since she had her brought the tears down all their cheeks. times when it impresses the speaker rather handsome Horace to absorb the best and Fearing for the effect on May, Counselor with a sense of the ludicrous. People in lismost romantic feelings of her heart, she was Federstahl got up to make a speech, and re- tening to a speaker try to put on their clevvery proud of this more than brother, who counted the story of Captain Belknap's first erest look, as if they understood it all, and had so chivalrously fought her battle. It dinner with him, and his giving him the usual when the speaker himself has lost his sub. was difficult to restrain her from giving all Danish salutation, “Welbekomer!" and his ject, nominative and verb, and feels that he she possessed to the Castletons, it was so fear that from the singular ill-fortune which is talking nonsense for the moment, the unasweet to the lovely girl to think that some had followed it it might have lost its pow- bashed attention and wise looks of his hear. one lived in whose veins ran kindred blood er, but, since he had heard from Captain Bel- ers are food for a side train of amusing reflecto her own.

knap that it had subsequently been crossed tions. So, with Mr. and Mrs. Horace Heywood, by the sinister benediction of Father Ambro- “Wliat did you think of my sermon?" Belknap started once more for the Danish sius, he was convinced that the dear old word asked a clergyman of an intimate friend. West Indies. His letter had not remained had not lost its power. He therefore now “Did you notice any thing singular about it unanswered, and as a happy lover he again gave them all his own blessing, and with the when I was about balf-way through, yesterencountered the soft greeting of the trade- feeling that but for the accidents which led day afternoon ?" winds. Strangely enough, he found himself to his bringing Captain Belknap to dine at He had lost all idea of his third point in at St. Thomas on the 25th of December, the Mrs. Castleton's on Christmas-day, none of an extemporaneous address, and was founder. anniversary of his first visit. As he walked “this strange, eventful history” would bave ing about like Milton's Satan in the chaotic up the hill to see Counselor Federstahl, the transpired, he believed that he had indeed bog, trying to get on solid ground again. curious events of the past year floated through uttered a prophetic word.

“Well,” answered the friend, " I thought bis mind. There was Venus hanging over his He proposed, as a proof of their gratitude something was wrong, but, as I was sure you head, as she had done a year before; he looked to Manuel for the faithful service he had could not lose yourself, I concluded I must up and blessed ber!

done them in unraveling the net which had have fallen asleep for a moment, and thus He dined with the counselor, after spend surrounded the captain, that he should be have lost the thread of the discourse." ing an hour in transacting the necessary busi. | brought in and his health drunk.

The subject of “ Professional Blunders"

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came up at a clerical dinner-company some one of the heavy box-stools in the chancel, to risk the failure of catching that hen. But, time ago, and the question went round to and, placing bis foot on this improvised ken. with a solemn face and stately step, as if I each as follows: “Were you ever so placed nel, gave out the hymn beginning

was about to give out the alms-bores, I in public in the performance of a service as

walked up to the 'bird,' and in an instant

“A charge to keep I have." to lose all sense of the solemnity of the occa

of silence, the like of which I never experision and be compelled to laugh in spite of The fourth case mentioned was that of a enced before, I caught the hen and disapyour more serious self ? "

Western missionary who was holding service peared into the vestry-room. But to this The following are some of the answers, as for the first time in a frontier town. A large day I ask myself the question of the other revealing the hidden but unforgotten expe- congregation had gathered in the primitive side of the issue, “Suppose you had failed to riences of ministerial accidents. Case num- court-room, and the young itinerant was just catch that hen, what would you bare done ? ? ! ber one was as follows:

about to announce his text, when a tall man, The last experience mentioned was that “I was holding a prayer - meeting in a who had been playing the melodeon for the of a clergyman at bis first baptism of infants, Western town in the early days of my minis. extemporized choir, pitched back his chair He was then very young in years, and had try, and, as there was no one to raise the on its hind-legs on the clerk's stand, imme. never before held a baby that he could retune, I tried myself to do it. The hymn be- diately in front of the judge's bench, and, member of, much less hold a baby and a gan

putting his hands in his pockets, fell back. book in the presence of a church full of peo. With hyssop purge thy servant, Lord,

ward, and went completely over. As he was ple. The first infant given into his arms was And so I clean shall be.'

directly in front of the preacher, his long legs, a big, squirming boy of thirteen months, who My first attempt was a failure; when I tried

in going over, knocked down the cushion immediately began to corkscrew his way tune number two I found it was a long metre;

which had been placed on the preacher's through clothes and wrappings. The minis. tune number three was another long metre,

stand, and scattered the loose notes in every ter held on bravely, but in a few moments and as I had come to the end of my stock, I

direction. The congregation broke out in the child's face disappeared in the wraps, stood still for a few moments looking at the

one roar of laughter, mingled with whistles and his dangling legs beneath were worning page. Thereupon an old woman stood up by

and cat-calls, and cries of “Go it, William!” their way to the floor. Seized with the horthe door and spoke out in a shrill, piping

“Heigh-ho, tumble-bug!” “Tumbler-pigeon!" rible impression that the child was tunneling voice: “You don't seem to get on very well

“Set them up again!” “Double score !” and his way through his clothes, and would soon

other such terms never before heard in a with hyssop; suppose now you try some other

be on the floor in a state of nature, he yarb!' What could I do but burst out with

bouse of worship. The house got into one clutched the clothes violently by the sasbthe all- conquering laugh, or die if I sup

of those convulsive spasms of laughter which band, and, straddling the child upon the pressed it?"

are remittent in their nature, and come on chancel - rail, said to the mother, “ If you Here was case number two:

again at successive intervals. Every few | don't hold that baby be will certainly be “I was conducting the funeral of a pa

moments the thought of the performance through his clothes, and I shall have nothing rishioner, and, supposing that the choir was

would come back again, and there would be left but the dress to baptize.”. No response

a new outburst. present, gave out a hymn.

There are many causes for these profesAs there was no one to raise the

All this time the disconcerted young came.

sional blunders, though sometimes they come tune, I boldly essayed to do it. But, to my

minister stood with his back to the audience, out of an apparently clear sky. Absenthorror, I found it was too short for the

looking out of a window, and, like the dying mindedness is one of these causes. words; no one could follow me in my length

dolphin, turning all shades of color, and go. A lady in a certain church not long ago ening.out process, so I had it all my own

ing through an assortment of experiences, destroyed the devotion of a portion of the way, and sang it as a solo. When I came to

ashamed, provoked, amused, and disgusted, congregation by sitting in a front per

each in turn. verse number two, I thought for a long time,

Finally he said, “Now we summer-time with a child's doll stuffed in and then, feeling sure that I was right this

have all had our laugh out, let us sing a her skirts in the place of the conventional time, pitched the tune, but it was so high I

hymn, and then go on with the sermon," and bustle. There were the head and arms apcould not pretend to follow it, and left it for

the crowd, like a tired child, sleepy and ready pealing to the congregation for deliverance, two or three volunteer ladies to carry on as

for a lullaby, was at last quiet once more. and the lady, all the wbile, was singing like best they could. But, to my dismay, I found

A venerable professor who was present an unconscious angel. that even this would not do: it was a long.

at this “

experience meeting” related his An instance of clerical absent-mindedness

ordeal of humor as follows: “Rev. Dr. metre tune to a common-metre hymn, and it

which we know to be true is as follows: Án came to an ignominious close at the end of

was invited to preach before the young in the Irish minister was invited to baptize a friend's the second line. The words were solemn, the

central meeting-house of the town. Two of child, which he did, omitting altogether, bor. occasion was solemn, I felt for the mourners,

the young ladies' boarding schools, and the ever, to place any water upon its head. The I felt for myself, but, wanting to be brave

boys of the academy, were present. It was parent took the bowl and presented it to the and prevail over the difficulty, I stood a mo

an audience ready for any thing to amuse minister, but he declined it. Thereupon the

them. ment and then struck up again. This time I

father took the water a second time, and inwas down in the very depths in my effort not

“ Just as the preacher announced his text sisted upon his taking it. The bewildered to pitch it too high, and again I was on a

a fluttering was heard in the window, and in clergyman held the bowl for a moment, and long metre, which I could not make short

walked a large black hen. With that pecul- then said: “I had a glass of water before I enough for the hymn. Do what I would, I

iar hen-like walk, in which the stretched-out came into church, but, so long as you insist could not tuck it in, and the hymn

head and neck keep time to the movement on my drinking this, I will do it, though I

of the feet, she advanced to the side of the assure you I am not at all thirsty." And be • Hear what the voice from Heaven declares 1'

minister, and, unmindful of the audience, actually drank the water from the baptisma is forever ruined for me. No wonder that peered over the open pulpit-platform down bowl! family never wanted to have Dr. at the on to the pews below. Unabashed by that funeral of any of their friends."

sea of faces, she seemed to be looking about cause of professional mistakes. It is a safe Case No. 3 was that of a very solemn for some place in which to lay an egg. The rule in traveling to expect everybody, to de clergyman and his assistant, who were dis- preacher looked at her; the boys and girls, as other people do, and to take nothing for turbed in their chancel by a miserable-look. | dying to seize the opportunity, and make a granted until first we find out definitely the ing street-cat, which had come in in some scene in church, cast their eyes upon her simple facts of the case for ourselves. And unknown way, and was rubbing itself up longingly. The entire church was still when there are good rules in other matters. Some against their legs, me-ow-ing piteously. The the Rev. Dr.

said to me, as I was sitting time ago, in a large Roman Catholic church, rector beckoned to the assistant to put the in the front pew, ‘P essor P-, will you a funeral was appointe

to be held at one cat out, which he did, but in a few moments remove that bird ?'

o'clock. It was a grave-digger and assistant she was back again. Upon this the very “If he had asked me to storm a battery, sexton, who had fallen into drinking-babits, solemn rector placed the poor creature under { I would have been as willing as I was then who was to be buried. The priest who was

"Signorance of the true situation is another

lar? Te is exactly right, professor,” replied

66

But we remember a case which is even

to conduct this particular funeral was half an Jones, the casbier ; and when you had ref- stock of the Oriental languages. They bad hour late, and, on arriving at the church and erence to his church-relationship, you would come to the same conclusion the poet had in seeing the funeral-procession waiting for bim, say Elder Jones. Now, does this illustra- mind when he said that went on at once with the service. As there tion help us to understand the doctrine of

.. Hebrew roots are found were supposed to be many of the old grave- the Trinity, or is it wrong in any particu

To flourish best in barren ground." digger's friends present, the priest thought it lar?" a good opportunity to speak kindly of the de

One of the examiners asked the candidate ceased, and point a moral from his sad end- the delighted student. “Nothing could make to read the sixth psalm. ing. So he began as follows:

plainer the abstruse doctrine of the nature Being something of a wag, the whilom This man, my friends, whom we are of the Trinity than such an illustration. It Jew recited very rapidly in the Hebrew the about to bury, though addicted to a great makes this otherwise mysterious subject as supposed portion. and common vice, was in every other respect clear as the daylight, and answers every diffi- “That is very correct,” said one of the a true man." culty contained in it !”

examiners; that will do for the Hebrew." “Father Melaylee,” whispered an Irish- “Well, sir,” answered the professor, “this “Nonsense!” answered the Jew; “I have man, “ let me spake a word to ye's."

settles the matter as far as you are concerned. been repeating the one hundred and thirty"No," replied the priest, “ I will not be These gentlemen present, of course, cannot sixth psalm, and none of you knew it." interrupted. I know this poor man's faults consent to sign your papers while you are a before me, but he was a true man in spite of professed Sabellian in your theology. I warn equal to this one in its outside grandeur and his failing.”

you, sir, against your erroneous views, which its inward plainness. “O Father Melaylee,” groaned out two of are leading you into the direst error! The It is a striking instance of the simple way the pall-bearers, “just listen to us; please, next candidate may explain this subject." in which professional thunder is made when Father Melaylee, only a word, your river- Another student, upon a similar occasion, once you are familiar with the doings behind ince !"

defined "

semi-Pelagianism” as “ tbat de- the soenes : “No,” said the indignant priest, “I will | lightful mean between the immature Pela- A young gentleman who was studying for not yield for one moment. As I was saying, gius and the over-developed Augustine." the ministry had never completed his college this poor man before me was a—"

The scenes at theological examinations course, and, before his final examination, it " Father Melaylee," cried out the irre- are sometimes rendered ludicrous by the as- was necessary that two clergymen should expressible mourner, the t'other priest has sumed air of technical exactness on the part amine him on mental and moral philosophy buried the grave-digger half an hour ago; of examiners. Frequently, very pious but and on physics. This examination was dethis one's a woman we're burying, sure, and unlearned clerical examiners have been no- signed to take the place of a college diploma. it's Tim Lanagan's wife we've got here!” ticed with their Hebrew Bible upside down, The examining ministers were appointed, and,

Professional blunders are also quite a and their finger wisely placed on the last as they were well-known friends of the can. wonder. When we come to think about chapter of Malachi, which, in their mistake, didate, and the day was very hot, form was them it is passing strange there are so few they have imagined to be the first book of dispensed with, coats were taken off, pipes of them in a community which is generally Genesis !

were lighted, and the following scene oclying in ebullient mischief. Every college One of these gentlemen, at last, after hav.. curred: has its Talmud full of past traditions and ing bis place found for him, was invited to Examiner No. 1. “Well, Harry, now for wonderful reminiscences of the naughty pa- ask the student under examination some tbis examination. First comes mental phitriarchs of the old college-world upon whom questions in Hebrew. Forgetting every thing losophy. What do you understand by menthe floods of administrative discipline came he had ever learned, with the exception of a tal philosophy ? " and swept them all away.

few of the names of the vowel-points, the Harry. “The philosopby of the mind and Every college-man has his measuring-line | following conversation ensued :

its workings." filled with the feet and inches of a past expe- “You observe the sixth line ?"

Examiner No. 1. "Very good.-Brother rience, which, under the impulse of memory “ Yes, sir.”

B.” (this to the other examiner), “have you and the company of old classmates, can be “Do you notice the fourth word in that any questions to ask ?" uprolled to any length. Therefore, upon this line?”

Brother B. “No, I think not." common field we will not enter.

“Yes, sir.”

Examiner No. 1. “Well, this will do for But the side-schools which lead into the “ Very good. Now, sir, do you observe mental philosophy. Now, Brother B., you various professions are not so well known, the third letter in that fourth word of the must conduct the examination on moral phi. and perhaps a string of theological mistakes sixth line ?

losophy.” are as striking a bundle of queer fish as we Yes, sir.”

Brother B. “Very well.—Harry, what do can find in any other line. It is a great mis. “ You do observe it, you say?"

you consider as the root of all Christian mor. take to imagine that, because theology is a “Yes, sir."

als ?" solemn study and the ministry a grave work, Very well indeed, sir. Now, can you Harry. “I suppose it is the revealed will there are no opportunities afforded for the tell me the name of that small dot in the of God." sheet-lightning of humor. On the contrary, middle of that third letter in the fourth word Brother B. “Yes. That is very good.the very seriousness of the work itself offers of the sixth line ? "

Brother C.” (this to Examiner No. 1), “ have a striking background for the ludicrous ele- Yes, sir; it is called Dagesh forte.• you any other questions to ask ?" ment to be conspicuous in.

“ That is very satisfactory," said the Examiner No. 1. "No." In a certain divinity-school in this coun- clergyman. After so thorough an exami- Brother B. “Well, then, we come to phystry a professor was trying to get a student nation, I have nothing more to add.”

ics. I will let you conduct this.” to define the Sabellian conception of the And that student was dying to turn the Examiner No. 1. “By physics we mean Trinity. The man was new to the ways of guns on his questioner, and ask him some- the philosophy of the physical world. We the professor, and was a little flustered by thing in return that would have shown he have only time to go into one department. the presence of some clerical magnates who had been firing a blank-cartridge.

We will take up the subject of hydraulics.had come to witness the examination.

The sheerest case of incompetence in the Well, Harry, what is a pump ?” “ Now, Mr. -" said the professor, matter of linguistic examination that well Harry. “ An instrument for drawing wa“let us try to understand this matter. Sup. could happen before a board was the follow. ter.” pose, in some town, an individual was major ing:

Examiner No. 1. “Quite right; but how of a battalion, cashier of a bank, and elder in A converted German Jew was seeking ad. does it work?" a church. When you thought of him in his mission to the ministry of a Protestant Harry. “You push the handle down, you military capacity, you would say Mr. Jones, church, and was examined in Hebrew by a | know." the major; when you thought and spoke of trio of clergymen who had forgotten their Examiner No. 1. “Yes; you push the him in business matters, you would say Mr. i seminary days, and with them their little bandle down, and then you lift it, and then

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OUR Anglo-Saxon kinsmen beyond the

you push it down again. But how does that not of the menial sort, will reject a gratuity ; ) compensation for his kindness in doing his make the water come?"

the former alınost certainly with something master or mistress's bidding. If you accept Harry. “ It draws the water up by suc- like resentment.

an invitation of a friend to breakfast or dio. tion."

I remember a Londoner's telling me that, on ner in Manchester, Liverpool, or London, Examiner No. 1. “Yes ; by suction. Can coming to this country, he had several times | John Thomas will think extremely ill of you you give any Latin motto to show how the offended Americans by his desire to “tip” | unless you give him a crown or half-crowd at water rusbes in to fill the empty place left by them; that they nearly threw the money in your departure, by way of showing your apthe water?"

his face, and assured him they were gentle-preciation of what he has not done for you, Harry. “Natura abhorruit vacuum.'

“And they weren't any thing of the What the queen-by court etiquette the first Ecaminer No. 1. “Yes. Now translate sort, either, you know," he continued, - for lady of the land- tolerates, and even sancthis Latin expression."

they were very seedy, and I dare say hadn't tions, the nobility and gentry, and even the Harry. “Nature abhors a vacuum.'" a guinea to bless themselves with. You plainest citizens, must subscribe to. Hence

Examiner No. 1. “ Very good.-Brother Americans are an awfully funny lot, now, tipping the servants of your host is not only B., have you any further questions to ask ? ” aren't you, though?

the habit, but the fashion ; and the combina. Brother B. “No, I think not."

To my remark that we thought the poor- tion is irresistible. Examiner No. 1. “Very well, then.- er we were the more right we had to be One would think that the effort of the Now, Harry, consider that you stand on the proud, he looked perplexed, and murmured : Duke of Wellington (not because of the same footing with those who have a college * Yes, yes; Americans are deucedly rum.” name be bears, but of his rank) to break up diploma, since you have passed this examina- No doubt it is as difficult for our cisat- this custom might succeed. I gravely doubt tion in mental, moral, and physical philoso- lantic cousins to understand why we shouldn't | if it will. I hear, indeed, that it has had no phy. That will do for to-day.” (Exeunt take money as for us to understand why they perceptible effect. Tipping would seem to omnes.]

should take it on the slightest or even with | be a part of the British Constitution, were Perhaps, too, this will do for the present out pretext of service. The reason is plain not the Constitution in a chronic state of for us, and perhaps we may return again to enough ; but the thing at issue is a compari. imminent peril, according to the politicians, this subject of Professional Blunders.

son between the almighty dollar and the om- while tipping is in no danger of disturbance nipotent shilling. They are so voluble about whatever. Certainly it shows no symptom

the former that we may well be excused for of yielding a jot, nor will it, in all probability, THE OMNIPOTENT reference to the latter.

for the very reason that it ought to have been Tipping, as it is called over there, has extinguished long since. SHILLING.

become so much a habit that everybody falls The sturdiest endeavors to suppress tipin with it. The English, as a rule, do this ping have heretofore been made in England

or that thing because other Englishmen do without the smallest result. A few years ago sea are very fond of harping on the it. They follow established custom blindly, all the railways combined to crush it. The American passion for the almighty dol- unquestioningly; believing that custom rests managers and directors held meetings, and lar; unmindful or unconscious that it is on some divine right, like that of a king to a determined that they would discharge eter? quite equaled, if not exceeded, by their love crown, or of a man to be a fool, if he so chooses. and all of their employés who should, on any of the omnipotent shilling. They who have A good number of Britons, especially just pretense or for any reason, accept a gratuity spent any time in England must have learned now, are opposed to this perpetual and cause. from a passenger. It was believed at first that the shilling is much more of a power less tipping ; for it has so increased of late that the coöperation of these vast corporations there than the dollar is here. It will accom- as to be a serious annoyance to all, and a to that end would abate the nuisance. For & plish on the other side what a dollar, though grievous expense to many. Comparatively while it was mitigated; but ere long it was four times its value, will not begin to accom- few Americans have any adequate idea of its as bad as ever, and for two or three years plish on this. A stranger is apt to think that extent, and depth, and strength. They must past it has been steadily increasing. You there are few classes in England so exalted stay on British soil a while to learn how firm- still see notices in the railway stations that as to be beyond the acceptance of a shilling; | ly it has taken root.

the servants of the companies are forbidden and, when he has ceased to be a stranger, he Very recently I was told, in England, that to receive gratuities; and yet your own eyes is almost sure of it.

the present Duke of Wellington, having ac. tell you that travelers regularly pay the porIn the United States, persons that take cepted an invitation of the queen to spend a ters, guards, everybody they come into condouceurs or gratuities are usually in a servile few days at Windsor Castle, offered, on his tact with, capable of adding to their concapacity, and nearly always foreigners; the departure, a sovereign to each of the ser. venience or comfort. The porter's duty is to native having a pride that will seldom allow vants who had waited on him during his handle luggage; he is hired for that purpose him to receive money for discharging his visit. The royal flunkies elevated their in. alone; but he hardly ever performs his duty duty or rendering a courtesy. In England, solent proboscides, and said, “We don't take without pay from the passenger to whom the no such nicety is observed. If you find any gold ;” meaning thereby that, as the Bank of luggage belongs. The fee is not large-afer one over there who refuses to have bis palm England issues no notes of a denomination pence, often a shilling-but it amounts to a crossed with silver-a circumstance altogeth- less than five pounds, that was the smallest good deal, because it is given every time the er improbable—ten to one, he is not to the amount they would condescend to accept; baggage is touched. You do not pay one manor born. In willingness to take money, whereupon the duke, it is said, went home man only — you pay him who takes Font wherever, wlienever, or by whomsoever of- and placed in each of his guest-chambers a wraps, bundles, or trunks, from the carriage ; fered, the average Englishman is, in spirit at printed notice that none of his guests should, you pay him who has the baggage weighed, least, uniformly a servant. He is not only under any circumstances, fee his servants, and you pay him who puts it in the van willing, he is anxious, energetic, resolute, to and that if they did so they would incur bis and assumes to look after it. This intake it; he expects it; he counts on it; he feels serious displeasure.

volves an expenditure of one shilling and sisaggrieved if he fails to get it, although he has This may sound strangely to persons una- pence to three shillings, and is to be under. done nothing to earn or entitle him to it. ware that, from time immemorial, it has been gone, even though your journer be but a few Where the line is drawn in England it is im- the custom in Britain for guests to fee the

miles. I have known passengers going from possible to say. I once put the question to one domestics of the gentleman or lady whose Liverpool to London—a distance of two bunof my countrymen who had passed much of hospitality they enjoy. This would be a dred miles—and stopping en route, to pay his life there, and he frankly confessed his in- breach of etiquette that would hardly be par nearly a pound to the railway-employés for ability to answer. “I have discovered a few in- doned here; for it would be an intimation doing what the company expressly hired them dividuals,” he added, “but I have never found that the servants of your host were not prop- to do. a class that were not on the lookout for fees." erly paid. In England, the breach of etiquette It is common to say that on English rail

Here you may be confident that any de consists, or has consisted, in not recognizing ways a judicious use of the shilling will se cently-dressed American, or any foreigner, the claims of every visible funky to liberal cure every thing that is to be secured, and

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