70

If the strong cane support thy walking hand, Chairmen no longer shall the wall command; F.v'n sturdy carinen shall thy nod obey, And rattling coaches stop to make thee way: This shall direct thy cautious tread aright, Though not one glaring lamp enliven night. Let beaux their canes, with amber tipt, produce; Be theirs for empty show, but thine for use. In gilded chariots while they loll at ease, And lazily ensure a life's disease; While softer chairs the tawdry load convey To court, to White's, assemblies, or the play; Rosy complexion'd Health thy steps attends, And exercise thy lasting youth defends. Imprudent men Heaven's choicest gifts profane: Thus some beneath their arm support the cane; The dirty point oft checks the careless pace, And miry spots the clean cravat disgrace. Oh! may I never such misfortune meet! May no such vicious walkers crowd the street! May Providence o'ershade me with her wings, While the bold Muse experienc'd danger sings! Not that I wander from my native home, And (tempting perils) foreign cities roam. Let Paris be the theine of Gallia's Muse, Where Slavery treads the streets in wooden shoes. Nor do I rove in Belgia's frozen clime, And teach the clumsy boor to skate in rhyme; Where, if the warmer clouds in rain descend, No miry ways industrious steps offend; The rushing flood from sloping pavements pours, And blackens the canals with dirty showers. Let others Naples' smoother streets rehearse, And with proud Roman structures grace their verse, Where frequent murders wake the night with

groans,

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90

And blood in purple torrents dyes the stones.
Nor shall the Muse through narrow Venice stray,
Where gondolas their painted oars display.
O happy streets! to rumbling wheels unknown,
No carts, no coaches, shake the floating town! 100
Thus was of old Britannia s city bless'd,
Ere pride and luxury her sons possess'd;
Coaches and chariots yet unfashion'd lay,
Nor late-invented chairs perplex'd the way:
Then the proud lady tripp'd along the town,
And tuck'd-up petticoats secur'd her gown;
Her rosy cheek with distant visits glow'd,
And exercise unartful charms bestow'd:
But since in braided gold her foot is bound,
And a long training mantua sweeps the ground,
Her shoe disdains the street; the lazy fair,

With narrow step, affects a limping air.

Now gaudy pride corrupts the lavish age,

And the streets flame with glaring equipage;

111

The tricking gamester insolently rides,
With Loves and Graces on his chariot sides;
In saucy state the griping broker sits,
And laughs at honesty and trudging wits.
For you, O honest men! these useful lays
The Muse prepares; I seek no other praise. 120
When sleep is first disturb'd by morning cries,
From sure prognostics learn to know the skies,
Lest you of rheums, and coughs at night com-
plain;

Surpris'd in dreary fogs, or driving rain.
When suffocating mists obscure the morn,
Let thy worst wig, long us'd to storms, be worn;

A chocolate house in St, James's street,

This knows the powder'd footman, and with care
Beneath his flapping hat secures his hair.
Be thou for every season justly drest,
Nor brave the piercing frost with open breast; 130
And, when the bursting clouds a deluge pour,
Let thy surtout defend the drenching shower.

140

The changing weather certain signs reveal. Ere Winter sheds her snow, or frosts congeal, You'll see the coals in brighter flame aspire, And sulphur tinge with blue the rising fire; Your tender shins the scorching heat decline, And at the dearth of coals the poor repine; Before her kitchen hearth, the nodding dame, In flannel mantle wrapt, enjoys the flame; Hovering, upon her feeble knees she bends, And all around the grateful warmth ascends. Nor do less certain signs the town advise Of milder weather and serener skies. The ladies, gaily dress'd, the Mall adorn With various dyes, and paint the sunny morn: The wanton fawns with frisking pleasure range, And chirping sparrows greet the welcome change; Not that their minds with greater skill are fraught', Endued by instinct, or by reason taught: The seasons operate on every breast; "Tis hence the fawns are brisk, and ladies drest. When on his box the nodding coachman snores, And dreams of fancy'd fares; when tavern doors The chairmen idly crowd; then ne'er refuse To trust thy busy steps in thinner shoes.

150

But when the swinging signs your ears offend With creaking noise, then rainy floods impend; Soon shall the kennels swell with rapid streams, And rush in muddy torrents to the Thames. 160 The bookseller, whose shop's an open square, Foresees the tempest, and with early care Of learning strips the rails; the rowing crew, To tempt a fare, clothe all their tilts in blue; On hosier's poles depending stockings ty'd, Flag with the slacken'd gale from side to side; Church-monuments foretel the changing air, Then Niobe dissolves into a tear, [sounds And sweats with sacred grief; you'll hear the Of whistling winds, ere kennels break their bounds; Ungrateful odours common-shores diffuse, And dropping vaults distil unwholesome dews, Ere the tiles rattle with the smoking shower, And spouts on heedless men their torrents pour.

171

All superstition from thy breast repel : Let credulous boys and prattling nurses tell, How, if the festival of Paul be clear, Plenty from liberal horn shall strew the year; When the dark skies dissolve in snow or rain, The labouring hind shall yoke the steer in vain; But, if the threatening winds in tempests roar, 181 Then War shall bathe her wasteful sword in gore. How, if on Swithin's feast the welkin lours, And every penthouse streams with basty showers, Twice twenty days shall clouds their fleeces drain, And wash the pavements with incessant rain. Let not such vulgar tales debase thy mind; Nor Paul nor Swithin rule the clouds and wind. If you the precepts of the Muse despise, And slight the faithful warning of the skies, Others you'll see, when all the town's afloat, Wrapt in th' embraces of a kersey coat,

190

Haud equidem credo, quia sit divinitus illis, Ingenium, aut rerum fato prudentia major. Virg. Georg.

200

Or double-bottom'd frieze; their guarded feet
Defy the muddy dangers of the street;
While you, with hat unloop'd, the fury dread
Of spouts high streaming, and with cautious tread
Shun every dashing pool, or idly stop,
To seek the kind protection of a shop.
But business summons; now with hasty scud
You jostle for the wall; the spatter'd mud
Hides all thy hose behind; in vain you scower,
Thy wig, alas! uncurl'd, admits the shower.
So fierce Alecto's snaky tresses fell,
When Orpheus charm'd the rigorous powers of Hell;
Or thus hung Glaucus' beard, with briny dew
Clotted and straight, when first his amorous view
Surpris'd the bathing fair; the frighted maid
Now stands a rock, transform'd by Circe's aid.
Good housewives all the winter's rage despise,
Defended by the riding-hood's disguise;
Or, underneath th' umbrella's oily shed,
Safe through the wet on clinking pattens tread.
Let Persian dames th' umbrella's ribs display,
To guard their beauties from the sunny ray;
Or sweating slaves support the shady load,
When eastern monarchs show their state abroad:
Britain in winter only knows its aid,

210

To guard from chilly showers the walking maid.
But, O! forget not, Muse, the patten's praise,
That female implement shall grace thy lays; 220
Say from what art divine th' invention came,
And from its origin deduce its name.

Where Lincoln wide extends her fenny soil,
A goodly yeoman liv'd, grown white with toil;
One only daughter bless'd his nuptial bed,
Who from her infant hand the poultry fed:
Martha (her careful mother's name) she bore,
But now her careful mother was no more.
Whilst on her father's knee the damsel play'd,
Patty he fondly call'd the smiling maid;
As years increas'd, her ruddy beauty grew,
And Patty's fame o'er all the village flew.
Soon as the grey-ey'd morning streaks the skies,
And in the doubtful day the woodcock flies,
Her cleanly pail the pretty housewife bears,
And singing to the distant field repairs;

230

And, when the plains with evening dews are spread,
The milky burthen smokes upon her head,
Deep through a miry lane she pick'd her way,
Above her ancle rose the chalky clay.

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250

Vulcan by chance the bloomy maiden spies, With innocence and beauty in her eyes:He saw, he lov'd; for yet he ne'er had known Sweet innocence and beauty meet in one. Ah, Mulciber! recal thy nuptial vows, Think on the graces of thy Paphian spouse; Think how her eyes dart inexhausted charms, And canst thou leave her bed for Patty's arms? The Lemnian power forsakes the realms above, His bosom glowing with terrestrial love: Far in the lane a lonely hut he found; No tenant ventur'd on th' unwholesome ground. Here smokes his forge, he bares his sinewy arm, And early strokes the sounding anvil warm: Around his shop the steely sparkles flew, As for the steed he shap'd the bending shoe. When blue-ey'd Patty near his window came, His anvil rests, his forge forgets to flame. To hear his soothing tales, she feigns delays; What woman can resist the force of praise? At first she coyly every kiss withstood, And all her cheek was flush'd with modest blood;

260

With headless nails he now surrounds her shoes,
To save her steps from rains and piercing dews.
She lik'd his soothing tales, his presents wore,
And granted kisses, but would grant no more.
Yet Winter chill'd her feet, with cold she pines,
And on her cheek the fading rose declines;
No more her humid eyes their lustre boast,
And in hoarse sounds her melting voice is lost. 270
Thus Vulcan saw, and in his heavenly thought
A new machine mechanic fancy wrought,
Above the mire her shelter'd steps to raise,

| And bear her safely through the wintery ways.
Straight the new engine on his anvil glows,
And the pale virgin on the patten rose.

No more her lungs are shook with dropping rheums,
And on her cheek reviving beauty blooms.
The god obtain'd his suit: though flattery fail,
Presents with female virtue must prevail.
The patten now supports each frugal dame,
Which from the blue-ey'd Patty takes the name.

TRIVIA.

BOOK II.

OF WALKING THE STREETS BY DAY.

280

THUS far the Muse has trac'd, in useful layı, The proper implements for wintery ways; Has taught the walker, with judicious eyes, To read the various warnings of the skies: Now venture, Muse, from home to range the town, And for the public safety risk thy own.

10

For ease and for dispatch, the morning's best; No tides of passengers the streets molest. You'll see a draggled damsel here and there, From Billingsgate her fishy traffic bear; On doors the sallow milk-maid chalks her gains; Ah! how unlike the milk-maid of the plains! Before proud gates attending asses bray, Or arrogate with solemn pace the way; These grave physicians with their milky cheer The love-sick maid and dwindling beau repair; Here rows of drummers stand in martial file, And with their vellum thunder shake the pile, To greet the new made bride. Are sounds like these The proper prelude to a state of peace? Now Industry awakes her busy sons; Full-charg'd with news the breathless hawker runs : Shops open, coaches roll, carts shake the ground, And all the streets with passing cries resound.

If cloth'd in black you tread the busy town, Or if distinguish'd by the reverend grown, Three trades avoid oft in the mingling press The barber's apron soils the sable dress; Shun the perfumer's touch with cautious eye, Nor let the baker's step advance too nigh. Ye walkers too, that youthful colours wear, Three sullying trades avoid with equal care: The little chimney-sweeper skulks along, And marks with sooty stains the heedless throng; When small-coal murmurs in the hoarser throat, From smutty dangers guard thy threaten'd coat; The dustman's cart offends thy clothes and eyes, When through the street a cloud of ashes flies; But, whether black or lighter dyes are worn, The chandler's basket, on his shoulder borne, With tallow spots thy coat; resign the way, To shun the surly butcher's greasy tray,

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39

30

40

Now dawns the morn, the sturdy lad awakes, Leaps from his stall, his tangled hair he shakes; Then leaning o'er the rails, he musing stood, 171 And view'd below the black canal of mud, Where common shores a lulling murmur keep, Whose torrents rush from Holborn's fatal steep: Pensive through idleness, tears flow'd apace, Which eas'd his loaded heart, and wash'd his face! At length he sighing cry'd, "That boy was blest, Whose infant lips have drain'd a mother's breast; But happier far are those (if such be known) Whom both a father and a mother own: But I, alas! hard Fortune's utmost scorn, Who ne'er knew parent, was an orphan born! Some boys are rich by birth beyond all wants, Belov'd by uncles, and kind good old aunts; When time comes round, a Christmas-box they bear,

180

And one day makes them rich for all the year.
Had I the precepts of a father learn'd,
Perhaps I then the coachman's fare had earn'd,
For lesser boys can drive; I thirsty stand,
And see the double flaggon charge their hand, 190
See them puff off the froth, and gulp amain,
While with dry tongue I lick my lips in vain."
While thus he fervent prays, the heaving tide,
In widen'd circles, beats on either side;;
The goddess rose amid the inmost round,
With wither'd turnip-tops her temples crown'd;
Low reach'd her dripping trosses, lank, and black
As the smooth jet, or glossy raven's back;
Around her waist a circling eel was twin'd,
Which bound her robe that hung in rags behind.
Now beckoning to the boy, she thus begun :
"Thy prayers are granted; weep no more, my

son:

Go thrive. At some frequented corner stand;

201

This brush I give thee, grasp it in thy hand,
Temper the soot within this vase of oil,
And let the little tripod aid thy toil;
On this methinks I see the walking crew,
At thy request, support the miry shoe;
The foot grows black that was with dirt embrown'd,
And in thy pocket gingling halfpence sound." 210
The goddess plunges swift beneath the flood,
And dashes all around her showers of mud:
The youth straight chose his post; the labour ply'd
Where branching streets from Charing-cross divide;
His treble voice resounds along the Meuse,
And Whitehall echoes-" Clean your honour's
shoes!"

Like the sweet ballad, this amusing lay.
Too long detains the walker on his way;

While he attends, new dangers round him throng; The busy city asks instructive song.

220

Where, elevated o'er the gaping crowd, Clasp'd in the board the perjur'd head is bow'd, Betimes retreat; here, thick as hailstones pour, Turnips and half-hatch'd eggs (a mingled shower) Among the rabble ain: some random throw May with the trickling yolk thy cheek o'erflow.

Though expedition bids, yet never stray Where no rang'd posts defend the rugged way. Here laden carts with thundering waggons meet, Wheels clash with wheels, and bar the narrow street;

The lashing whip resounds, the horses strain, And blood in anguish bursts the swelling vein. O barbarous men! your cruel breasts assuage; Why vent ye on the generous steed your age.

230

240

Does not his service earn your daily bread?
Your wives, your children, by his labours fed!
If, as the Samian taught, the soul revives,
And, shifting seats, in other bodies lives;
Severe shall be the brutal coachman's change,
Doom'd in a hackney horse the town to range;
Carmen, transform'd, the groaning load shall draw,
Whom other tyrants with the lash shall awe.
Who would of Watling street the dangers share,
When the broad pavement of Cheapside is near?
Or who that rugged street' would traverse o'er,
That stretches, O Fleet-ditch, from thy black shore
To the Tower's moated walls? Here steams ascend
That, in mix'd fumes, the wrinkled nose offend.
Where chandlers' cauldrons boil; where fishy prey
Hide the wet stall, long absent from the sea; 250
And where the cleaver chops the heifer's spoil,
And where huge hogsheads sweat with trainy oil;
Thy breathing nostril hold; but how shall I
Pass, where in piles Carnavian2 cheeses lie;
Cheese, that the table's closing rites deuies,
And bids me with th' unwilling chaplain rise?

260

O bear me to the paths of fair Pall-mall! Safe are thy pavements, grateful is thy smell! At distance rolls along the gilded coach, Nor sturdy carmen on thy walks encroach; No lets would bar thy ways were chairs deny'd, The soft supports of laziness and pride: Shops breathe perfumes, through sashes ribbons The mutual arms of ladies and the beau. [glow, Yet still ev'n here, when rains the passage hide, Oft the loose stone spirts up a muddy tide Beneath thy careless foot; and from on high, Where masons mount the ladder, fragments fly, Mortar and crumbled dime in showers descend, And o'er thy head destructive tiles impend.

270

[stray,

But sometimes let me leave the noisy roads, And silent wander in the close abodes, Where wheels ne'er shake the ground; there pensive In studious thought, the long uncrowded way. Here I remark each walker's different face, And in their look their various business trace. The broker here his spacious beaver wears, Upon his brow sit jealousies and cares; Bent on some mortgage (to avoid reproach) He seeks by-streets, and saves th' expensive coach Soft, at low doers, old letchers tap their cane, For fair recluse, who travels Drury-lane; Here roams uncomb'd the lavish rake, to shun His Fleet-street draper's everlasting dun.

279

Careful observers, studious of the town, Shun the misfortunes that disgrace the clown; Untempted, they contemn the juggler's feats, Pass by the Meuse, nor try the thimble's cheats, When drays bound high, they never cross behind, Where bubbling yest is blown by gusts of wind: 290 And when up Ludgate-hill huge carts move slow, Far from the straining steeds securely go, Whose dashing hoofs behind them fling the mire, And mark with muddy blots the gazing 'squire. The Parthian thus his javelin backward throws, And as he flies infests pursuing foes.

The thoughtless wits shall frequent forfeits pay, Who 'gainst the sentry's box discharge their tea. Do thon some court or secret corner seek, Nor flush with shame the passing virgin's cheek.

1

3

Thames-street. Cheshire, anciently so called. A cheat commonly practised in the streets with three thimbles and a little ball.

Yet let me not descend to trivial song, Nor vulgar circumstance my verse prolong. Why should I teach the maid, when torrents pour, Her head to shelter from the sudden shower? Nature will best her ready hand inform, With her spread petticoat to fence the storm. Does not each walker know the warning sign, When wisps of straw depend upon the twine Cross the close street, that then the paver's art Renews the ways, deny'd to coach and cart? Who knows not that the coachman lashing by Oft with his flourish cuts the heedless eye; And when he takes his stand, to wait a fare, His horses foreheads shun the Winter's air? Nor will I roam where Summer's sultry rays, Farch the dry ground, and spread with dust the

ways;

310

With whirling gusts the rapid atoms rise,
Smoke o'er the pavement, and involve the skies.

Winter my theme confines; whose nitry wind
Shall crust the slabby mire, and kennels bind; 320
She bids the snow descend in flaky sheets,
And in her hoary mantle clothe the streets.
Let not the virgin tread these slippery roads,
The gathering fleece the hollow patten loads;
But if thy footstep slide with clotted frost,
Strike off the breaking balls against the post.
On silent wheels the passing coaches roll;
Oft look behind, and ward the threatening pole.
In harden'd orbs the school-boy moulds the snow,
To mark the coachman with a dext'rous throw. 330
Why do ye, boys, the kennel's surface spread,
To tempt with faithless pass the matron's tread?
How can you laugh to see the damsel spurn,
Sink in your frauds, and her green stocking mourn?
At White's the harness'd chairman idly stands,
And swings around his waist his tingling hands;
The sempstress speeds to Change with red-tipt nose;
The Belgian stove beneath her footstool glows;
In half-whipt muslin needles useless lie,
And shuttle-cocks across the counter fly.
These sports warm harmless; why then will ye
prove,

Deluded maids, the dangerous flame of love?

340

Where Covent-garden's famous temple stands, That boasts the work of Jones' immortal hands; Columns with plain magnificence appear, And graceful porches lead along the square: Here oft my course I bend; when, lo! from far I spy the furies of the foot-ball war :

380

Doll every day had walk'd these treacherous

roads ;

Her neck grew warpt beneath autumnal loads
Of various fruit: she now a basket bore;
That head, alas! shall basket bear no more.
Each booth she frequent past, in quest of gain,
And boys with pleasure heard her shrilling strain.
Ah, Doll! all mortals must resign their breath,
And industry itself submit to Death!
The cracking crystal yields; she sinks, she dies,
Her head, chopt off, from her lost shoulders flies;
Pippins she cry'd; but death her voice confounds;
And pip-pip-pip along the ice resounds.

So, when the Thracian furies Orpheus tore,
And left his bleeding trunk deform'd with gore,
His sever'd head floats down the silver tide,
His yet warm tongue for his lost consort cry'd;
Eurydice with quivering voice he mourn'd,
And Heber's banks Eurydice return'd.

388

But now the western gale the flood anbinds, And blackening clouds move on with warmer winds; The wooden town its frail foundation leaves, 401 And Thames' full urn rolls down his plenteous

waves;

From every pent-house streams the fleeting snow,
And with dissolving frost the pavements flow.
Experienc'd men, inur'd to city ways,
Need not the calendar to count their days.
When through the town with slow and solemn air,
Led by the nostril, walks the muzzled bear;
Behind him moves, majestically dull,
The pride of Hockley-hole, the surly bull.
Learn hence the periods of the week to name,
Mondays and Thursdays are the days of game.

410

When fishy stalls with double store are laid; The golden-belly'd carp, the broad-finn'd maid, Red speckled trouts, the salmon's silver jowl, The jointed lobster; and unscaly soal, And luscious 'scallops to allure the tastes Of rigid zealots to delicious fasts; Wednesdays and Fridays you'll observe from hence, Days when our sires were doom'd to abstinence. 420 When dirty waters from balconies drop, And dext'rous damsels twirl the sprinkling mop, And cleanse the spatter'd sash, and scrub the stairs;

Know Saturday's conclusive morn appears.

Successive cries the seasons' change declare, And mark the monthly progress of the year. Hark! how the streets with treble voices ring, To sell the bounteous product of the Spring! Sweet-smelling flowers, and elder's early bud, With nettle's tender shoots, to cleanse the blood; And, when June's thunder cools the sultry skies, 431 E'en Sundays are profan'd by mackrel cries.

Walnuts the fruiterer's hand in Autumn stain, Blue plumbs and juicy pears augment his gain;