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song'-- As I was walking upon the high way, I met a young damsel~ Then what brings you here ? says the parson to the ghost Sanconiathon, Manetho, and Berosus'The whole way from Islington turnpike to Dog-house bar -- Dam'— As for Abel Drugger, sir, he's damned low in it; my prentice boy has more of the gentleman than he-For murder will out one time or another; and none but a ghost, you know, gentlemen, can'— Damme if I don't; for my friend, whom you know, gentlemen, and who is a parliament man, a man of consequence, a dear, honest creature, to be sure ; we were laughing last night at - Death and damnation upon all his poste rity by simply barely tasting - Sour grapes, as the fox said once when he could not reach them; and I'll, I 'll tell you a story about that, that will make you burst your sides with laughing. A fox once'- Will nobody listen to the song ?'—As I was a walking upon the high way, I met a young damsel both buxom and gay'- No ghost, gentlemen, can be murdered; nor did I ever hear but of one ghost killed in all my life, and that was stabbed in the belly with a'- My blood and soul if I don't'— Mr. Bellows-mender, I have the honour of drinking your very good health Blast me if I do'-Dam'“Blood'- BugsFire'--'Whizz - Blid'~Tiť(Rat-Trip'--The rest all riot, nonsense, and rapid confusion.
Were I to be angry at men for being fools, I could here find ample room for declamation ; but, alas! I have been a fool myself; and why should I be angry with them for being something so natural to every child of humanity ?
Fatigued with this society, I was introduced, the following night, to a club of fashion. On taking my place, I found the conversation sufficiently easy and tolerably good-natured ; for my lord and sir Paul were not yet arrived. I now thought myself completely fitted, and, resolving to seek no farther, determined to take up my residence here for the winter : while my temper began to open insensibly to the cheerfulness I saw diffused on every face in the room: but the delusion soon vanished, when the waiter came to apprise us that his lordship and sir Paul were just arrived.
From this moment all our felicity was at an end; our new guests bustled into the room, and took their seats at the head of the table. Adieu now all confidence; every creature strove who should most recominend himself to our members of distinction. Each seemed quite regardless of pleasing any but our new guests; and what before wore the appearance of friendship, was now turned into rivalry.
Yet I could not observe that, amidst all this flattery and obsequious attention, our great men took any notice of the rest of the compavy. Their whole discourse was addressed to each other. Sir Paul told his lordship a long story of Moravia the Jew; and his lordship gave sir Paul a very long account of his new method of managing silk-worms: he led him, and consequently the rest of the company, through all the stages of feeding, sunning, and hatching ; with an episode on mulberry-trees, a digression upon grass-seeds, and a long parenthesis about his new postillion. In this manner we travelled on, wishing every story to be the last; but all in vain :
Hills over hills, and Alps on Alps arose.'
The last club in which I was enrolled a member, was a society of moral philosophers, as they called themselves, who assembled twice a week, in order to show the 'absurdity of the present mode of religion, and establish a new one in its stead.
I found the members very warmly disputing when I arrived; not indeed about religion or ethics, but about who had neglected to lay down his preliminary sixpence upon entering the room. The president swore that he had laid his own down, and so swore all the company.
During this contest, I had an opportunity of observing the laws, and also the members, of the society. The president, who had been, as I was told, lately a bankrupt, was a tall, pale figure, with a long black wig; the next to him was dressed in a large white wig, and a black cravat; a third, by the brownness of his complexion, seemed a native of Jamaica ; and a fourth, by his hue, appeared to be a blacksmith. But their rules will give the most just idea of their learning and principles.
1. We, being a laudable society of moral philosophers, intend to dispute twice a week about religion and priestcraft; leaving behind us old wives' tales,
and following good learning and sound sense ; and if so be, that any other persons has a mind to be of the society, they shall be entitled so to do, upon paying the sum of three shillings, to be spent by the company in punch.
II. That no member get drunk before nine of the clock, upon pain of forfeiting three-pence, to be spent by the company in punch.
TII. That as members are sometimes apt go away without paying, every person shall pay sixpence upon his entering the room ; and all disputes shall be settled by a majority; and all fines shall be paid in punch.
IV. That sixpence shall be every night given to the president, in order to buy books of learning for the good of the society; the president has already put himself to a good deal of expense in buying books for the club; particularly, the works of Tully, Socrates, and Cicero, which he will soon read to the society.
(V. All them who brings a new argument against religion, and who, being a philosopher, and a man of learning, as the rest of us is, shall be admitted to the freedom of the society, upon paying sixpence only, to be spent in punch.
(VI. Whenever we are to have an extraordinary meeting, it shall be advertised by some outlandish name in the newspapers.
SAUNDERS MAC WILD, president.
ON THE POLICY OF CONCEALING OUR WANTS
Ir is usually said by grammarians, that the use of language is to express our wants and desires ; but men who know the world hold, and I think with some show of reason, that he who best knows how to keep his necessities private, is the most likely person to have them redressed; and that the true use of speech is not so much to express our wants as to conceal them.
When we reflect on the manner in which mankind generally confer their favours, there appears something so attractive in riches, that the large heap ge. nerally collects from the smaller; and the poor find as much pleasure in increasing the enormous mass of the rich, as the miser, who owns it, sees happiness in its increase. Nor is there in this any thing repug. nant to the laws of morality. Seneca himself allows, that, in conferring benefits, the present should always be suited to the dignity of the receiver. Thus the rich receive large presents, and are thanked for accepting them. Men of middling stations are obliged to be content with presents something less ; while the beggar, who may be truly said to want indeed, is well paid if a farthing rewards his warmest solicitations.
Every man who has seen the world, and has had his ups and downs in life, as the expression is, must have frequently experienced the truth of this doctriue; and must know, that to have much, or to seem