But, on my honour, all the' expense
(Though vast) was for the swarm's defence.'
They pass'd the' account as fair and just;
And voted him implicit trust.
Next year again the granary drain'd,
He thus his innocence maintain'd:
Think how our present matters stand, What dangers threat from every hand; What hosts of turkeys stroll for food, No farmer's wife but hath her brood. Consider when invasion's near, Intelligence must cost us dear; And, in this ticklish situation, A secret told betrays the nation: But on my honour, all the' expense (Though vast) was for the swarm's defence.' Again, without examination,
The year revolves. Their treasure spent, Again in secret service went:
His honour, too, again was pledged,
To satisfy the charge alleged.
When thus, with panic shame possess'd,
An auditor his friends address'd:
'What are we? ministerial tools?
We little knaves are greater fools.
At last this secret is explored,
'Tis our corruption thins the hoard.
For
every grain we touch'd, at least
A thousand his own heaps increased.
Then for his kin and favourite spies,
A hundred hardly could suffice.
Thus for a paltry sneaking bribe,
We cheat ourselves and all the tribe;
For all the magazine contains
Grows from our annual toil and pains.'
They vote the' account shall be inspected; The cunning plunderer is detected;
The fraud is sentenced; and his hoard,
As due, to public use restored.
THAT man must daily wiser grow,
Whose search is bent himself to know;
Impartially he weighs his scope,
And on firm reason founds his hope;
He tries his strength before the race,
And never seeks his own disgrace;
He knows the compass, sail, and oar,
Or never launches from the shore;
Before he builds computes the cost,
And in no proud pursuit is lost:
He learns the bounds of human sense,
And safely walks within the fence.
Thus, conscious of his own defect,
Are pride and self-importance check'd.
If then, self-knowledge to pursue,
Direct our life in every view,
Of all the fools that pride can boast,
A Coxcomb claims distinction most.
Coxcombs are of all ranks and kind;
They're not to sex or age confined,
Or rich, or poor, or great, or small,
And vanity besots them all.
By ignorance is pride increased:
Those most assume who know the least; Their own false balance gives them weight, But every other finds them light.
Not that all Coxcombs' follies strike,
And draw our ridicule alike;
To different merits each pretends:
This in love-vanity transcends ;
That, smitten with his face and shape,
By dress distinguishes the ape;
The' other with learning crams his shelf,
Knows books, and all things but himself.
All these are fools of low condition,
Compared with Coxcombs of ambition :
For those, puff'd up with flattery, dare
Assume a nation's various care.
They ne'er the grossest praise mistrust,
Their sycophants seem hardly just;
For these, in part alone, attest
The flattery their own thoughts suggest.
In this wide sphere a Coxcomb's shown
In other realms besides his own:
The self-deem'd Machiavel at large
By turns controls in every charge.
Does Commerce suffer in her rights?
"Tis he directs the naval flights.
What sailor dares dispute his skill?
He'll be an admiral when he will.
Now, meddling in the soldiers' trade,
Troops must be hired, and levies made:
He gives ambassadors their cue,
His cobbled treaties to renew ;
And annual taxes must suffice
The current blunders to disguise.
When his crude schemes in air are lost,
And millions scarce defray the cost,
His arrogance (nought undismay'd)
Trusting in self-sufficient aid,
On other rocks misguides the realm,
And thinks a pilot at the helm.
He ne'er suspects his want of skill,
But blunders on from ill to ill;
And when he fails of all intent,
Blames only unforeseen event.
Lest you mistake the application,
The Fable calls me to relation.
A Bear of shag and manners rough,
At climbing trees expert enough ;
For dexterously, and safe from harm,
Year after year he robb'd the swarm:
Thus thriving on industrious toil,
He gloried in his pilfer'd spoil.
This trick so swell'd him with conceit,
He thought no enterprise too great.
Alike in sciences and arts
He boasted universal parts:
Pragmatic, busy, bustling, bold,
His arrogance was uncontroll'd;
And thus he made his party good,
And grew dictator of the wood.
The beasts, with admiration, stare,
And think him a prodigious Bear.
Were any common booty got,
'Twas his each portion to allot :
For why? he found there might be picking, Even in the carving of a chicken.
Intruding thus, he by degrees
Claim'd, too, the butcher's larger fees.
And now his over-weening pride
In every province will preside.
No task too difficult was found:
His blundering nose misleads the hound,
In stratagem and subtle arts
He overrules the fox's parts.
It chanced as, on a certain day,
Along the bank he took his way,
A Boat, with rudder, sail, and oar,
At anchor floated near the shore.
He stopp'd, and turning to his train,
Thus pertly vents his vaunting strain:
What blundering puppies are mankind,
In every science always blind!
I mock the pedantry of schools:
What are their compasses and rules?
From me that helm shall conduct learn,
And man his ignorance discern.'
So saying, with audacious pride He gains the Boat, and climbs the side. The beasts, astonish'd, line the strand: The anchor's weigh'd; he drives from land: The slack sail shifts from side to side; The Boat untrimm'd admits the tide. Borne down, adrift, at random toss'd, His oar breaks short, the rudder's lost. The Bear, presuming in his skill, Is here and there officious still; Till, striking on the dangerous sands, Aground the shatter'd vessel stands. To see the bungler thus distress'd, very fishes sneer and jest ;
|