Ros. Say a day, without the ever. No, no, Orlando ; men are April, when they woo, December, when they wed; maids are May, when they are maids, but the sky changes, when they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen; more clamorous than a parrot against rain; more newfangled than an ape; more giddy in my desires than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain, and I will do that, when you are disposed to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and that when thou art inclined to sleep. Orl. But will my Rosalind do so? Ros. Or else she could not have the wit to do this: the wiser, the waywarder. Make the doors upon a woman's wit, and it will out at the casement; shut that, and 'twill out at the key-hole: stop that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney. Orl. A man, that had a wife with such a wit, he might say, -Wit, whither wilt? Ros. Nay, you might keep that check for it, till you met your wife's wit going to your neighbour's bed. Orl. And what wit could wit have to excuse that? Ros. Marry, to say,-she came to seek you there. You shall never take her without her answer, unless you take her without her tongue. O,that woman that cannot make her fault her husband's occasion, let her never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool. Orl. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. Ros. Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours. Orl. I must attend the duke at dinner; by two o'clock I will be with thee again. I Ros. Ay, go your ways, go your ways!-I knew what you would prove; my friends told me as much, and thought no less-that flattering tongue of yours won me:- -'tis but one cast away, and so,-come, death. Two o'clock is your hour? Orl. Ay, sweet Rosalind. Orl. With no less religion, than if thou wert indeed my Rosalind. So, adieu! Ros. Well, time is the old justice, that examines all such offenders, and let time try. Adieu![Exit Orlando. Cel. You have simply misus'd our sex in your loveprate: we must have your doublet and hose plucked over your head, and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest. Ros. O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou didst know, how many fathom deep I am in love! But it cannot be sounded; my affection hath an unknown bottom, like the bay of Portugal. Cel. Or rather bottomless; that as fast as you pour affection in, it runs out. Ros. No, that same wicked bastard of Venus, that was begot of thought, conceived of spleen, and born of madness; that blind rascally boy, that abuses every one's eyes, because his own are out, let him be judge, how deep I am in love:-I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando: I'll go find a shadow, and sigh till he come. Cel. And I'll sleep. [Exeunt. I Ros. How say you now? Is it not past two o'clock? and here much Orlando! Cel. I warrant you, with pure love, and troubled brain, he hath ta'en his bow and arrows, and is gone forthto sleep. Look, who comes here. Enter SILVIUS. I Sil. My errand is to you, fair youth;- am but as a guiltless messenger. Ros. Patience herself would startle at this letter, Ros. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God A freestone-colour'd hand; I verily did think, Ros. Why, 'tis a boisterous and cruel style, Ros. She Phebes me. Mark how the tyrant writes. Can a woman rail thus ? Sil. Call you this railing? Warr'st thou with a woman's heart? Did you ever hear such railing? Whiles the eye of man did woo me, That could do no vengeance to me.— Meaning me a beast. If the scorn of your bright eyne Have power to raise such love in mine, Alack, in me what strange effect Would they work in mild aspect? Whiles you chid me, I did love; How then might your prayers move? He, that brings this love to thee, Little knows this love in me: And by him seal up thy mind; Whether that thy youth and kind Will the faithful offer take Of me, and all that I can make; Or else by him my love deny, And then I'll study how to die. Sil. Call you this chiding? Cel. Alas, poor shepherd! [Reads. Ros. Do you pity him? no, he deserves no pity.Wilt thou love such a woman?-What, to make thee an instrument, and play false strains upon thee! not to be endured!-Well, go your way to her, (for I see, love hath made thee a tame snake,) and say this to her ;That if she love me, I charge her to love thee: if she will not, I will never have her, unless thou entreat for her. If you be a true lover, hence, and not a word; for here comes more company. [Exit Silvius. Enter OLIVER. Oli. Good morrow, fair ones: Pray you, if you know Oli. If that an eye may profit by a tongue, Cel. It is no boast, being ask'd, to say, we are. This handkerchief was stain'd. Cel. I pray you, tell it. Oli. When last the young Orlando parted from you, He left a promise to return again Within an hour; and, pacing through the forest, A wretched ragged man, o'ergrown with hair, Lay couching, head on ground, with catlike watch, To prey on nothing, that doth seem as dead: Oli. And well he might so do, For well I know he was unnatural. Ros. But, to Orlando ; —did he leave him there, Food to the suck'd aud hungry lioness? Oli. Twice did he turn his back, and purpos'd so: But kindness, nobler ever than revenge, And nature, stronger than his just occasion, Who quickly fell before him; in which hurtling Cel. Are you his brother? Ros. Was it you he rescu'd? Cel. Was't you, that did so oft contrive to kill him? When from the first to last, betwixt us two, Oli. Many will swoon, when they do look on blood. Ros I would, I were at home. Cel. We'll lead you thither; I pray you, will you take him by the arm? Oli. Be of good cheer, youth!-You a man? SCENE I.-The same. Enter TOUCHSTONE and Audrey. Touch. We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey! And. 'Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman's saying. Touch. A most wicked sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Mar-text. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you. And. Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest in me in the world: here comes the man you mean. Enter WILLIAM. Touch. It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits, have much to answer for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold. Will. Good even, Audrey! And. God ye good even, William ! Touch. A ripe age. Is thy name William ? friend? Touch. A fairname. Wast borni' the forest here? Touch. Thank God;-a good answer. Art rich? Touch. So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good:-and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise? Will. Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit. a Touch. Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember saying, The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips, when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby, that grapes were made to eat,and lips to open. You do love this maid? Will. I do, sir. Touch. Give me your hand. Art thou learned? Touch. Then learn this of me: To have, is to have. female; or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; to wit, I kill thee,make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: L will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado,or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways; therefore tremble, and depart! And. Do, good William! Will. God rest you merry, sir. Enter CORIn. [Exit. Cor. Our master and mistress seek you; come, away, away! Touch. Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey: -- I attend, I attend. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-The same. Enter ORLANDO and OLIver. Orl. Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance you should like her? that, but seeing, you should love her? and, loving, woo? and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persevere to enjoy her? Oli. Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her suddden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her, that she loves me; consent with both, that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good, for my father's house,and all the revenue that was old sir Rowland's, will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd. Enter ROSALIND. Orl. You have my consent. Let your wedding be tomorrow; thither will I invite the duke, and all his contented followers. Go you,and prepare Aliena: for look you, here comes my Rosalind." Ros. God save you, brother! Ros. O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf. Orl. It is my arm. Ros. I thought, thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion. Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. Ros. Did your brother tell you, how I counterfeited to swoon, when he showed me your handkerchief? Orl. Ay, and greater wonders, than that. Ros. O, I know, where you are.-Nay, 'tis true; there was never any thing so sudden, but the fight of two rams and Caesar's thrasonical brag of- I came, saw, and overcame. For your brother and my sister no sooner met, but they looked: no sooner looked,but they loved; no sooner loved, but they sighed; no sooner sighed, but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason, but they sought the remedy: and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love, and they will together; clubs cannot part them. Orl. They shall be married to-morrow; and I will bid the duke to the nuptials. But, O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy, in having what he wishes for. Ros. Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind? Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. Ros.I will weary you no longer then with idle talking. Know of me then, (for now I speak to some purpose,) that I know, you are a gentleman of good conceit: I Touch. He, sir, that must marry this woman. There- speak not this, that you should bear a good opinion of fore, you clown, abandon, which is in the vulgar, my knowledge, insomuch, I say, I know you are; neileave, the society, -- which in the boorish is, com-ther do I labour for a greater esteem, than may in some pany, of this female - which in the common is, wo- little measure draw a belief from you to do yourself man,-which together is, abandon the society of this good, and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things: I have, since I was three years old, conversed with a magician, most profound in his art, and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart, as your gesture cries it out,when your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her: I know, into what straights of fortune she is driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes to-morrow, human as she is, and without any danger. Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings? Ros. By my life, I do ; which I tender dearly, though Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers. Ros. I care not, if I have: it is my study, Phe. Good shepherd, tell this youth, what 'tis to love! Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of faith and service; And so am I for Phebe. Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of fantasy, All made of passion, and all made of wishes; Phe. And so am I for Ganymede. Orl. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. commands. Sil. I'll not fail, if I live. Orl. Nor 1. Enter two Pages. 1 Page. Well met, honest gentleman! 2 Page. I'faith, I'faith; and both in a tune, like two It was a lover, and his lass, With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, In the spring time, the only pretty rank time, Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no greater matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untuneable. 1 Page. You are deceived, sir.; we kept time, welost not our time. Touch. By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear such a foolish song. God be with you; and God mend your voices !-Come, Audrey. [Exeunt. SCENE IV. Another part of the forest. Enter Duke senior, AMIENS, JA Ques, Orlando, Oliver, and CELIA. Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy can do all this that he hath promised? Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not; As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE. Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compact is You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, [To the Duke. Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. Phe. That will I, should I die the hour after. Ros. You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will? SCENE III.-The same. Aud. I do desire it with all my heart: and I hope it is no dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of the world. Here comes two of the banished duke's pages. Ros. I have promis'd to make all this matter even. --- If she refuse me :-and from hence I go, [Exeunt Rosalind and Celia. Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDRey. Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark! Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often met in the forest. He hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. laq. And how was that ta'en up? Touch. 'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. Jaq. How seventh cause?-Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. Touch. God'ild yon, sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear; according as marriage binds, and blood breaks.—A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own; a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that, that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house; as your pearl in your foul oyster. Duke S.By my faith, he is very swift and sententious. Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases. Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed;-Bear your body more seeming, Andrey:-as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said, his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the Retort courteous. IfI sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is called the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is called the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the Reproof valiant. Ifagain, it was not well cut, he would say, Ilie: this is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so to the Lie cireumstantial, and the Lie direct. Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well eut? Touch. I durst go no further than the Lie circumstantial; nor he durst not give me the Lie direct ; and so we measured swords, and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? avoid, but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, as, If you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is the only peace-maker; much virtue in If. Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing, and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under presentation of that, he shoots his wit. Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman's clothes; and CELIA, Still Music. Hym. Then is there mirth in heaven, When earthly things made even Atone together. Good duke, receive thy daughter, Yea brought her hither; That thou might'st join her hand with his, Ros. To you I give myself, for I am yours. [To Duke S. Ros. I'll have no father, if you be not he : [To Duke S. I'll have no husband, if you be not he:- [To Orlando. Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she. [To Phebe. Hym. Peace, ho! I bar confusion: 'Tis I must make conclusion Of these most strange events: If truth holds true contents. [To Orlando and Rosalind. [To Oliver and Celia. You [To Phebe] to his love must accord, Or have a woman to your lord : You and you are heart in heart: You and you are sure together, [To Touchstone and Audrey. As the winter to foul weather. Wedding is great Juno's crown; Oblessed bond of board and bed! High wedlock then be honoured: Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word or two! I am the second son of old sir Rowland, That bring these tidings to this fair assembly:Touch. O, sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, as Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day you have books for good manners. I will name you Men of great worth resorted to this forest, the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the se- Address'd a mighty power; which were on foot, cond, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; In his own conduct, purposely to take the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Counter- His brother here, and put him to the sword: check quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circum- And to the skirts of this wild wood he came ; stance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may Where, meeting with an old religious man, |