Of which you need not read one letter: The worse the scrawl, the dofe the better. For if you knew but what you take, Though you recover, he must break.
Ideas, forms, and intellects,
Have furnish'd out three different fects.
Subftance, or accident, divides
All Europe into adverse fides.
Now, as, engag'd in arms or laws,
You must have friends to back your caufe;
In philofophic matters fo
Your judgment muft with others' go:
Majority of voices rules.
For as in fenates, fo in schools,
Poor Alma, like a lonely deer,
O'er hills and dales does doubtful err: With panting hafte, and quick surprise, From every leaf that ftirs, fhe flies; Till, mingled with the neighbouring herd, She flights what erft fhe fingly fear'd: And now, exempt from doubt and dread, She dares pursue, if they dare lead; As their example ftill prevails, She tempts the ftream, or leaps the pales.
He then, quoth Dick, who by your Thinks for himself, becomes a fool; As party man, who leaves the reft, Is call'd but whimsical * at beft.
* Some of the Tories, in the queen's reign, were diftinguished
Now, by your favour, mafter Mat,
Like Ralpho, here I smell a rat.
I must be lifted in your fect,
Who, though they teach not, can protect.
Right, Richard, Mat in triumph cry'd:
So put off all miftruft and pride. And, while my principles I beg, Pray anfwer only with your leg. Believe what friendly I advise : Be firft fecure, and then be wife.
The man within the coach that fits, And to another's skill submits, Is fafer much (whate'er arrives), And warmer too, than he that drives. So Dick Adept, tuck back thy hair, And I will pour into thy ear Remarks, which none did e'er difclofe In fmooth-pac'd verfe, or hobbling profe. Attend, dear Dick; but don't reply: And thou may'st prove as wife as I. When Alma now, in different ages, Has finish'd her ascending stages, Into the head at length fhe gets, And there in public grandeur fits, To judge of things, and cenfure wits. Here, Richard, how could I explain The various labyrinths of the brain! Surprise my readers, whilst I tell 'em Of cerebrum, and cerebellum ! How could I play the commentator On dura and on pia mater !
Where hot and cold, and dry and wet, Strive each the other's place to get; And, with inceffant toil and ftrife, Would keep poffeffion during life. I could demonftrate every pore, Where memory lays up all her store; And to an inch compute the station "Twixt judgment and imagination. O friend! I could difplay much learning, At least to men of fmall difcerning. The brain contains ten thousand cells: In each fome active fancy dwells; Which always is at work, and framing The feveral follies I was naming. As in a hive's vimineous dome Ten thousand bees enjoy their home, Each does her ftudious actions To go and come, to fetch and carry; Each still renews her little labour, Nor juftles her affiduous neighbour: Each whilft this thefis I maintain, I fancy, Dick, I know thy brain. O, with the mighty theme affected, Could I but fee thy head diffected!
My head! quoth Dick, to ferve your whim!
Spare that, and take fome other limb.
Sir, in your nice affairs of system,
Wife men propofe; but fools affift 'em.
Says Matthew, Richard, keep thy head, And hold thy peace; and I'll proceed.
Proceed! quoth Dick: Sir, I aver, You have already gone too far. When people once are in the wrong, Each line they add is much too long. Who fastest walks, but walks aftray, Is only furtheft from his way. Bless your conceits! muft I believe, Howe'er abfurd, what you conceive; And, for your friendship, live and die A papift in philosophy?
I fay, whatever you maintain Of Alma in the heart or brain, The plaineft man alive may tell ye Her feat of empire is the belly: From hence the fends out those supplies, Which makes us either ftout or wife; The ftrength of every other member Is founded on your belly-timber; The qualms or raptures of your blood Rife in proportion to your food;
And, if you would improve your thought, You must be fed as well as taught. Your stomach makes your fabrick roll, Juft as the bias rules the bowl. The great Achilles might employ The ftrength defign'd to ruin Troy; He din'd on lion's marrow, fpread On toafts of ammunition bread: But, by his mother fent Amongst the Thracian girls to play,
Effeminate he fat, and quiet: Strange product of a cheese-cake diet! Now give my argument fair play, And take the thing the other way: The youngster, who at nine and three Drinks with his fifters milk and tea, From breakfast reads till twelve o'clock,
Burnet and Heylin, Hobbes, and Locke: He pays due vifits after noon
And firft knock'd down, and then led home,
But who shall stand his rage and force, If firft he rides, then eats his horfe? Sallads, and eggs, and lighter fare, Tune the Italian fpark's guitar.
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