CHAPTER II.

ARRIVAL IN ENGLAND-VISITS HIS RELATIONS AND FRIENDS-ACCOMPANIES JOHN AND EDWARD PEASE TO PYRMONT, MINDEN, AND THE SOUTH OF FRANCE-VISITS PARIS ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS-ACCOMPANIES A. A. JENKINS, AND WILLIAM AND MARY FORSTER, TO THE SOUTH OF FRANCE— REMOVES TO KIMBERLEY IN NORFOLK-ENTERS UPON A FARM IN SURREY-HIS MARRIAGE-REMOVES TO IRELAND-WRITES AN EPISTLE OF LOVE AND CAUTION-REFLEXIONS-LETTERS TO L. A. BARCLAYP. RICKMAN-J. SARGENT-J. G. HAYMAN-W. HODGSON-J. MARSH-T. DREWRY AND I. B. LETTERS FROM W. HODGSON AND T. DREWRY

F.

1842. 5th Month 15th.-Reached London a little after one p.m. Left direct for Kingston and went to meeting there was favoured with a renewal of strength, a feeling of the overshadowings of Divine love overshadowing the tabernacle.

24th.-Grover Kemp breakfasted with us: he handed much encouragement to me, saying, that I should dwell in the land, and verily I should be fed,-that I should have the richest of blessings, the Treasure, and temporal ones also,—that I may be tried to an hair's breadth: recommended or exhorted to sit alone and keep silence.

6th Month 11th.-It seems necessary to live one day at a time-have not felt quite so much discouraged. O that I may not miss my Guide, but be humble and teachable, walking before Him in unreserved dedication and resignation to his will!

17th.-Went to Brighton Monthly Meeting: a very favoured

meeting. D. P. H. spoke at much length: he expressed a belief that some would be raised up in that Monthly Meeting who would have to tell others of the Lord's wonderful doings for them. I felt it to be a truly instructive and favoured time, accompanied with some belief that I should become one of that number to declare of the Lord's goodness towards me in having delivered me from many sore and grievous trials and afflictions, to which (some having gone through or going through), D. P. H. alluded, as that there would be given them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. He also believed that there were some of the preciously visited ones present, one of whom I knew myself to be, for truly He hath visited me in a remarkable manner from time to time with the tokens of his love. O that I may be increasingly faithful to all his manifestations!

1843. 1st Month 10th.-Peaceful feelings at John Catchpool's. He addressed me, [counselling] to go deep, to feel my way from place to place: only stop when I can feel peace, that I may set my foot in the right place: mind the pointings of the Divine finger. J. C. does not doubt, but the way will be clearly pointed out to me.

11th.- -“When a man's ways please the Lord He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him,"-and the angel of the Lord shall chase them :-"he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight." Be willing to become a fool amongst men.

2nd month 26th.-To Peel meeting in the morning,—to Westminster in the afternoon. In the morning meeting that Scripture of the stone cut out of the mountain without hands was brought to my mind with instruction, shewing me the necessity of laying aside, in order rightly to worship, all my own strivings, and to be resigned to the Divine will, and to endeavour to turn inward from all that may be of our own imagination or doing. Towards the close of the meeting John Hubbard stood up with the same, and explained that we ought to or must cease from our own inventions.

On the 27th he went again to Paris to consider further about business.

3rd Month 25th.-When thou art assailed with temptation, flee for refuge to thy Saviour and Redeemer as a little child runs to its parent when afraid, for the Psalmist says, "The Lord is my strong rock, my deliverer, and my high tower."

26th.-Was favoured with calmness at meeting. Some friends from England were there. I believe it is good for me to receive in humility what is handed to me in the Light, and not to handle it: my own reasoning-the carnal mind, cannot please God.

4th Month 12th.-He returned again to England, not finding it his place to stay in Paris.

4th Month 27th.-The thought has arisen this morning whether it may not be the Lord's will, and whether I ought not to devote my days to his service, keeping myself free from worldly business, and that He may have spared me for this end. This evening I have remembered how that the Lord's disciples gave up all (their outward business) and followed Him. O that I may know his leadings and drawings!

28th.-"Be simply faithful to thy inward Guide,

Heedless of mortal laugh or mortal frown,

And in thy Maker's service fortified,

Fear not the cross, for that secures the crown."

6th Month 27th.-Quarterly meeting [for London and Middlesex] which was adjourned till five o'clock in the afternoon. The subject of discontinuing one of the London week-day meetings in the morning and substituting one in the evening; or having one held in the evening on a week-day (which subject was brought from one or more of the Monthly Meetings to the Quarterly Meeting) was entered upon with I think much interest. On hearing it I felt strongly the impropriety of making any alteration in this respect, believing the sacrifice ought to be made, that it must be more acceptable when performed during the time that is applied by others (usually) to business and that

it would tend to weakness. G. Stacey seemed to feel in the matter as myself, and after S. Gurney had expressed a similar view or feeling, I believed it was required of me to express the few words, I am quite of the same mind on that subject," which I trust was right, and it afforded me relief in doing.

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8th Month 3rd.--Left London for Paris.

11th.-Let me ever flee from temptation, not look at it. I may expect to meet with temptations whilst in this body; let me then ever be on the watch, 0 my soul!

13th. My brother and self only at meeting. In the evening after a walk I went solitarily home; but to my comfort, though no mortal was there, I found I was not destitute, for in seeking unto the Lord inwardly I found what was better to me than outward company. O let me henceforth value retirement! He that has so often, and especially during my residence at Paris formerly, helped me, remains for ever the same: He changeth not.

22nd. I believe Divine instruction has been afforded me to-day from our Saviour's words to his disciples in Matthew x. 27, "What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops." I believe I ought in no way to flinch from the cross in what is shown me as my duty, but to speak in light that which my Saviour reveals to me as his will in the secret of my soul. A more full surrender and a willingness to bear the cross before men, and to become a fool amongst them seems required of me if I would have peace. It seems as though I am in my appointed place, and that there is work for me, here in the Master's cause, the Truth as it is in Jesus.

TO LYDIA A. BARCLAY.*

MY DEAR FRIEND,

Paris. 11th of 9th Month, 1843.

It has been much on my mind of late to write to thee, and

* LYDIA ANN BARCLAY was born at Clapham in 1799. Her parents

wish to let thee know how it has fared with me, feeling as I have done, much freedom to communicate with thee thereon. It has been a long winter season with me, though I trust I can say, and with thankfulness, that hitherto I have been mercifully preserved, and favoured with food sufficient to keep alive, though much weariness and seeming desertion [have attended], at times almost to despair; but a secret hand has been underneath to sustain me through all,-His name be praised! If thou hast not heard thou wilt learn by this that I am again in Paris, where I have been about five weeks. Previously I was spending a time in London, and in the West; but not feeling that I had a home, and not knowing what to put my hands to there, I looked towards this place again, without an object pointedly in view, or anything wherein I felt I could decidedly engage without a discovery of the Divine will therein; yet it seems most like my home here, and through renewed favour, I have of late felt that it is good for me to wait upon the Master to know what is his will, to be wholly resigned to what He may order and

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were Robert and Ann Barclay, the former being directly descended from Robert Barclay, the author of the " Apology for the true Christian Divinity." Respecting her childhood but little is left on record; she appears to have been early favoured with the merciful visitations of heavenly love, by which her heart was tendered, and she was gradually strengthened to yield obedience to the Light of Christ in her soul; so that as she grew to womanhood, knowing her will measurably subjected thereto, she experienced a deepening in the root of life, and was enabled to bring forth fruit to the praise of the great Husbandman. In one of her letters written at a later period she says, we were brought up to the use of prayers morning and evening; and very often went with our governess, who was of the established church, to her place of worship. This I became uneasy with, when about fifteen; and shewing a dislike to it, she never pressed it again. Places of public amusement, and dancing, were also given up about the same time, and music soon after. Oh how tenderly have I been dealt with! I can never sufficiently remember it. He has led me gently along, shewing me by degrees, first, what he would have me avoid and forsake, and then, what he would have me to do and pursue.' Dwelling under the operation of the grace of God, and the tendering baptisms of the Holy Spirit, notwithstanding the contrary influence of the associations by which she was surrounded she was led into great simplicity in her