Johnson.

The day that preceded my departure from Bog-Lodge, to pass the entrance examination in the University of Dublin, was one not soon to be forgotten in the annals of my family. My sisters had been up with the first light of day to pack my things, namely, my clothes, a few books, and a plumb-cake, which my kind Aunt Jenny had made on purpose for me to distribute among my young companions in college. I took only a few books, as I was to return home immediately after entrance; but those few were packed in my portmanteau, at the recommendation of another maiden aunt, by name Sally, who advised me to take a Homer, a Virgil, a Terence, and a Horace, "just to cast my eye over them on the morning of the examination." My mother did nothing all day but run out of one room and into another, call the servants, and ask were they sure of this thing and that? pull all the things out of my trunk to ascertain if they were properly packed; or run into the kitchen and disperse the servants in all directions for my father, to ask him some question, or give him some orders. My father was indeed the only unconcerned person among us. He walked about the farm as if nothing extraordinary was about to happen; and seemed so little inclined to come in the way of the bustle, that, excepting when summoned by an emissary from my mother, he kept aloof from the house all day. On such occasions he would slowly, and reluctantly, walk homewards, grumbling-" Plague on them! can't they let a man alone with their nonsense !!" till summoned by fresh messengers, and perhaps by the distant voice of his helpmate, calling

out, "John, John, where are you? I want to speak to you! He would put more alacrity into his motions, and hasten to meet my mother, saying, in a cheerful voice, "Here, my heart, what is it you want?" The answer to this question did not, it is true, always set forth a case of sufficient importance to justify the bringing of my poor father in a hurry across four or five fields, especially as our stiles are rather hard to climb, and he has had a touch of lumbago; but his patience, and obedience, were most exemplary; and whether the matter in hand was to get a bit of twine to tie a parcel, or to solve the problem of which of two coats I was to wear in Dublin, his attention to my mother's wishes was unfailing. Once indeed, and only once, did he lose his habitual composure at what he seemed to consider an unreasonable command on her part. She had dispatched all the servants and labourers about the place in different directions in search of him, and was herself perched on an elevated spot in the barley field, making the sylvan echoes reverberate the name of her beloved, when, for the fifteenth time in the course of the day, my father came from the other end of the farm, obedient to this the fifteenth command. He advanced with difficulty, and no wonder, considering the length of ground he had traversed since morning; but he spoke in the same resigned tone as ever, while his eye seemed to say, "pray, have mercy on me !" But mercy was not, at this moment, an inmate of my mother's bosom. She hailed him with“ Why, John, what on earth has kept you so long? Here I have been waiting, and calling, and sending for you, and you

no more minding me than if you were deaf. I declare this kind of thing is not to be borne !"

"Well, my heart, and what is it I am to do for you?

Why, go down to Inishogh immediately, and get some spirit of camphor for Joe's tooth. We had as near as possible packed his trunk without it. Be sure and tell Mr. M'Dorey to send it very strong."

My poor father could contain himself no longer, but broke out with "I protest to Heaven my-my love-this is more than I can submit to! Can't Joe go for himself? I think it would be more becoming than for me to be a slave to my own son."

To these rebellious expressions my mother indignantly replied," Why then, upon my word, Joe shall not go, and I wonder at your proposing it,-I think we may at least permit him to enjoy the society of his sisters and aunts on this the last day he is to spend at home."

"The last day!" exclaimed my father, "why, what the plague, isn't he coming back on Friday, and can't he have enough of the society of his sisters then, and of his aunts too, plague take them!"

"Of course he cannot," said Aunt Sally, who had just joined the group, "when you know he will be reading for the premium, and of course, poor fellow, will be able to see but little of us." Reading for the premium,-stuffand if he can't go, can't one of the servants, or one of the men go ?"

Yes," said my mother, and leave the business of the farm undone, and the dinner uncooked."

considering that her ascendancy predominates at Bog Lodge, in every thing, from the education of the children to the dressing of the dinner. In fact, my mother only plays second fiddle to Aunt Sally, who is certainly a very clever person, as is evident from her manner of conversation: for let the subject be what it may, algebra or haymaking, theology or potatoes, all are discussed with a volubility and decision which show a well-informed and commanding mind. Even when, as sometimes happens, she knows nothing of the subject on the tapis, she is not content with being silent, or with a simple confession of ignorance, like my father or other ordinary people; but occupies half an hour in informing us that she knows nothing, and giving us reasons why, in the most classical and sesquipedal English. As my literary education, together with that of my sisters, has been entirely under the direction of my invaluable aunt for many years, it is not surprising that at so important an era of my life, as entering college, she should feel considerably interested, and exert her powers of eloquence, both to incite me to the acquirement of academic honours, and my sisters to the best arrangement of my portmanteau. This last feat was at length happily accomplished, and we sat down to a very late dinner. conversation at table was chiefly confined to the ladies; for I sat silent, wrapt in anticipations of future greatness; and my father was so fully occupied in appeasing his hunger, which that day was rather sharp, that he only muttered a few broken sentences, which as they were apparently addressed confidentially to his plate, none thought it incumbent on them to answer. rest of the evening was spent in discussing the many and great things I was to perform at entrance. Aunt Jenny said, that if I was a good boy, and said my lessons well, perhaps, besides getting first place, the Provost would make an exception in my favour, and give me a handsome book for a premium.

The

The

At this sentence of Aunt Jenny, a grunt issued from my father, who was sitting near the fire. This, by the by, has been, for whatever reason, for some time back, his usual mode of joining in our conversation; and we are so well accustomed to it, as to be able to distinguish by the intonation, between his

grunt applausive, and that expressing displeasure, or even minuter shades of

sentiment.

Aunt Sally relied on my implicitly following the directions which she had so often given me, about sitting firm and erect at the examinations, and repeating the answers in a full, clear, voice, and looking full in the examiner's face. Nothing, she observed, was of more importance to a young man than the impression he leaves on the minds of others, and nothing influences that impression more than manners-and she hoped that mine would leave such an impression on the minds of the University as would influence them most favourably towards me, not only in awarding an honourable place to me at entrance, but through the whole of my subsequent course.

A grunt from my father followed Aunt Sally's harangue.

My mother desired me to be sure and get the first place-and to read all the books which Aunt Sally had put up for me and to take care and answer my very best-and to observe all Aunt Sally's directions about pronunciation and manner of answering, and then I should be sure to get the first place.

We parted for the night. Next morning I rose early, took leave for the first time in my life of parents, aunts, and sisters, and mounted the Dublin mail with a beating heart. The world was literally new to me: I had never been ten miles from home, and knew nothing of men and customs, beyond the confines of my native parish. These considerations, however, did not disturb me. I had no fears of future failure either in College or the world. My talents I knew to be prodigious, and had been so often assured of my scholastic abilities by my aunts and sisters, and by my tutor Mr. M'Classican, that I could anticipate nothing short of a brilliant triumph. But on my classical attainments, (great as they undoubtedly are,) I relied less than on my talents in general literature, especially poetry, for which I have a fine genius, which has received the suffrages as well of the female circle at home, as of all the neighbouring ladies and gentlemen who visit us, and who have always testified the highest admiration of my precocious intellect. In fact, (if I may mention it without exceeding the VOL. I.

bounds of modesty) I had already outdone Milton, Dryden, and Pope; for whereas their juvenile efforts had been confined to what are called minor poems, I had already written great part of a romantic epic in the manner of the Corsair, to be comprised in twenty cantos. My reasoning on this subject was strictly logical. If, said I, at the age of eighteen, I have already surpassed the greatest poets that ever existed, to what an inconceivable eminence shall I not have attained at the end of my life! My father, I am sorry to say, thinks proper to differ from the rest of mankind respecting my abilities. When my Aunt Sally would appeal to my 'Ode to Phingari,' (which means the moon) as a proof that I had talents sufficient to carry off all the premiums, prizes, and medals, classic and scientific, which the college had to bestow, he would grunt and mutter something about"better mind his books than be writing such heaps of trash-do him no good in college-just idling the boy, and making a fool of him." Or if he ventured to criticise my lines, and prove them to be "nonsense," he encountered such screams of indignation from the ladies, as deprived him of courage to proceed. He has (strange to say) the reputation of being a good scholar, and judge of literature, but he certainly does not exhibit these qualities among his own family. I remember a criticism of his which moved the just contempt of the Inishogh ladies' reading society, and which I insert as a specimen of his peculiar mode of thinking. In my "Ode" just mentioned, are the following lines:

"By lone Phingari's pensive light
How swiftly rows the Mameluke;
Chanting to his guitar so light

A legend of the silvery brook.
And oh! the Bulbul's lay he loves
To list in isles of orient clime;
Where through each fairy bower he roves,
Building the deep entrancing rhyme."

Now nothing can be more in the style of Byron than these lines. They have, as Miss Scriblerina Botherem ob-serves, the melancholy swell, and deep unutterable feelings of his poetry. But my poor father cares little for deep unutterable feelings. He asks how this same Mameluke can row swiftly, and play the guitar at the same time?-and as for the next verse, he can't for the life of him see any meaning or sense in it at all-and if there be anything in it

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worth saying, it is worth saying clearly, or else not at all. My sisters who took up the cudgels for me, informed him that it is absurd to criticise the modern school of poetry, as you would the oldfashioned precise verse of Milton and Dryden-that my lines present to the mind an image of deep impassioned loveliness, whose very obscurity makes it appear as if dim with a halo of poetical atmosphere. My father made no reply, except saying, that "if I minded my business more, and read the classics instead of stringing a parcel of nonsense together, I might come to know what poetry is, and perhaps see that it does not consist in talking about Phingari, and bulbuls, and orient climes, and such stuff!!!"

It is not to be supposed that I suffer the fire of my genius to be damped by these or any other of my father's criticisms, inasmuch as he is on this, as on all other matters at issue between him and Aunt Sally, a minority in himself.

With the consciousness of such splendid talents, I could not help saying to myself, as the coach, on whose roof I sat, rolled along the crowded streets of Dublin-" Little do these people know who is entering their city at this moment !" And when jostled at the coach office by porters and jingle-men, and all sorts of dirty persons, I indignantly called to mind that the time was at hand when I should walk their streets, not undistinguished as at present, from the ordinary herd of men. I stopped at Macken's hotel, in Dawson-street, which has thus acquired a kind of classic celebrity; and having introduced myself to my intended tutor, the Rev. Dr. Golumpus, who had been selected because Aunt Sally was once in his company. I occupied myself for a day or two in walking about the city, and surveying its objects of interest. Among these was a remarkable pillar, erected in honour of the immortal Nelson, to the top of which I ascended; and a puppet-show, which a man exhibited at the corner of Carlisle bridge, for only a halfpenny a peep, and which contained some highly interesting representations. In the confectioner's shops, I found a very agreeable mode of spending my spare time in the intervals of sight-seeing, especially after my excellent Aunt Jenny's plum cake had been consumed: which, by the by, I may as well men

My

tion, I did not distribute according to her directions, not feeling quite easy at the idea of carrying a plum-cake through the streets into the courts of the College, and there dividing it among the gownsmen. My happiness was, however, considerably diminished by the reflections which I was often forced to make on the state of my wardrobe. My clothes, though they still fitted me, were not of the newest cut, and I soon perceived that however suitable for a lounge in the streets, (or rather street) of Inishogh, they were but ill calculated to compete with the fashionable vestments of the gay world in College-green and Damestreet. In fact, before leaving home, I had had some secret misgivings, that my outward man but ill accorded with the splendour of my pretensions in other respects: but though my mother was inclined to sympathise, yet Aunt Sally was so decidedly against granting my petition for at least a new coat, that the thing was altogether impossible. aunt argued with her usual ability, that my newest suit, which had been made eighteen months before by Thady O'Brallaghan, the Inishogh tailor, was good enough for me, during my short stay in Dublin, and the other suit, of about four years' standing, would, with a little mending, do admirably well for travelling in. Manners, she remarked, form the essential distinction of a gentleman, and a real gentleman could never be mistaken for anything else, however mean his attire-while low, underbred people were sure to be detected, through all the finery which their money could heap on them. Though not so thoroughly convinced of the applicability of these maxims to my own case, as I am wont to be by Aunt Sally's reasonings on theology, and politics, I was forced to make the best of it, and persuade myself that such was the grace and gentility of my demeanour, that I came within the principle of Mr. Twitch's observation, that "little Flanagan would look well in any thing." Still, as ever and anon I caught a glimpse of my figure in a mirror in some shop window, I could not repress some bitter feelings of mortification at my battered hat and shabby coat, as well as some uncharitable wishes concerning my Aunt Sally.

On the appointed day I entered college. When fairly in the hall I felt

my self-confidence to be on the wane, and stronger when my name and parentage were asked; I gave them in with a proud consciousness of the honour I was destined to confer on my Alma Meter at some future indefinite time, yet I trembled for the event of the present examination. In fact, there was cause for apprehension; for it seems the Fellows are not content with the grand general translation of a passage, which shows that a man is fully master of its spirit but they have a plaguy precise way of requiring the meaning of every word-a pedantic and tiresome process, fit only for a plodder, and unworthy of a man of genius. On the present occasion, however, it happened, that I had completely forgotten both the sense and spirit of every line which I was required to translate; and one of the examiners (a truculent looking fellow) said it was a shame for my friends to send me so ill prepared. However, I passed, and got- -last place! The first was won by a vulgar fellow, who sat near me, and whose voice and manner ought to have made the Fellows (according to Aunt Sally's theory) unanimous in rejecting him. He certainly translated with wonderful fluency and accuracy that I allow; but his look was coarse and uninspired, and he was utterly destitute of what at Bog Lodge is called manners. During the progress of the examination, a very odd and unwonted feeling, made up of surprise and shame, had grown upon me; at times I could hardly believe but that I was asleep, and should presently awake, and find myself in my own bed at home. That disgrace and failure should ever come to be named in the same sentence with me, was what had never entered into my imaginationwhat I had never calculated on as possible in the nature of things. What! 1, the clever and talented Joey Skimthings the youthful genius of Inishogh the admirable Crichton of the age, whose name would shed a classic splendour over the neighbourhood of Bog Lodge!!!-that I should be set down among the dunces!-nonsense! It must be all a delusion, and I must be dreaming like Nic Bottom, a most rare dream; on waking from which, I shall no longer be an ass, but, as nature made me, a most proper and sweet youth as you shall see on a summer's

day. But these flattering speculations were compelled to give way to a dire persuasion of the reality. I was, and there was no use in denying it, a huge way-a monstrous way from the top of the class. That I had actually got last place, I did not, it is true, learn till the next day; but still I knew enough to warrant me in presuming that my return to Bog Lodge, and my reception by Aunt Sally would be considerably on the wrong side of triumphal. When all was over, and I was borne amid the joyful rush of my fellow-students into the crowded court of the College, I had one solitary satisfaction, that I knew no one there. Forcing my way through the throng uncongratulated and unhonored, I passed the College gate, somewhat crestfallen since morning, and traversed the streets, thinkin gall the people were laughing at me, till I reached the hotel. There, vexed and wearied, I locked the door of my room and threw myself on the bed, where, after a while, the bitter thoughts that agitated me, gradually gave way to others of a less humiliating nature. My confidence in my own powers (that unfailing symptom of genius) began to strength, and I eagerly grasped at any pretext that would shift the blame of my disgrace from my own shoulders and transfer it to those of others. Such was not long wanting. I began clearly to perceive that my examination had been a most partial and unfair one; and by dint of going over the events of the day one after the other, I made out such a catalogue of wrongs and insults which had been heaped on me, as soon banished humility from my mind, and supplied its place with virtuous indignation at the stupidity and insolence of the heads of college.

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recover

It is a disgrace to the nation," said I, "that such a university should be tolerated. I have often heard Aunt Sally speak of the infamous deficiencies in its undergraduate course; but now I can bear witness to them myself. The scoundrels!-what sort of an examination was that to give me? If I failed in the the passages they gave me, why did'nt they try me in others? I am confident, that I could find out parts of Homer and other books, which if it had pleased their high mightinesses to take me in, I must, beyond a shadow of doubt, have gained the