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Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week,
Host. Thou’rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap : said I well, bully Hector ?
Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow : Let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.
[Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster: Go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
[Exit BARD, Pist. O base Gongarians wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?
Nym. He was gotten in drink : Is not the humour conceited ? His mind is not heroick, and there's the humour of it.
Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's test.
Pist, Convey, the wise it call: Steal! foh; a fico for the phrase!
Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. . .. Pist. Why then let kibes ensue.
Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I. must shift.
Pist. Young ravens must have food.
Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol ; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste;, I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation : I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, 'to be English'd rightly, is, I am sir John Falstaff's.
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well ; out of honesty into English:
Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass ?
Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels.?
Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, boy, say I.
Nym. The humour rises; it is good : humour me the angels.
Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her : and here another to Page’s wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads : sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Pist. Then did the sun on dung-hill shine.
Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning glass! Here's another letter to her : she bears the purse too; she
7 Gold coin.
is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater' to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page ; and thou this to mistress Ford : we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. · Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! '
Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to RoB.] bear you these letters
tightly ; 8 Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. Rogues, hence avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; Trudge, plod, away, o'the hoof; seek shelter, pack! Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.
. . [Exeunt FALSTAFF and Robin. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and . . fullam9 holds, And high and low beguile the rich and poor: . TesterI'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack, Base Phrygian Turk !
Nym. I have operations in my head, which bę humours of revenge.
Pist. Wilt thou revenge?
Nym. With both the humours, I:
Escheatour, an officer in the Exchequer.
9 False dice. "Sixpence l'll have in pocket.
Pist And I to Ford shall eke unfold,
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
And his soft couch defile. Nym. My humour shall not cool : I will incense? Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, 2 for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I second thee; troop on.
SCENE IV. A Room in Dr. Caius's House. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY. Quick. What; John Rugby !-I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch.
[Exit RUGBY. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall · come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no telltale, nor no breed-bate :3 his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish * that way: but nobody but has his fault;- but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is?
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.
..Quick. And master Slender's your master? Sim. Ay, forsooth.
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring knife?
Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little weé face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-coloured beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as talls a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener.6
Quick. How say you ?-0, I should remember him; Does he not hold up his head, as it were ? and strut in his gait ?
Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quitk. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune? Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish
Quick. We shall all be shent:7 Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. (Shuts Simple in the closet.] He will not stay long.--What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say !--Go, John, go enquire for my master ; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home :--and down, down adown-a, &c. [Sings.
Enter Doctor Caius. . Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier
5 Brave.. 6 The keeper of a warren..
7 Scolded, reprimanded.