And who fhould be prefum'd to tell
What the herself should fee, or feel?
She doubts if two and two make four,
Though fhe has told them ten times o'er.
It can't - it may be and it muft:
To which of thefe muft Alma truft?
Nay further yet they make her go
In doubting, if the doubts, or no.
Can fyllogifm fet things right?
No majors foon with minors fight;
Or, both in friendly confort join'd,
The confequence limps falfe behind.
So to fome cunning man fhe goes,
And afks of him, how much he knows.
With patience grave he hears her speak ;
And from his fhort notes gives her back
What from her tale he comprehended :
Thus the difpute is wifely ended.
From the account the lofer brings,
The Conjuror knows, who stole the things.
'Squire (interrupted Dick) fince when
Were you amongst these cunning-men?
Dear Dick, quoth Mat, let not thy force
Of eloquence fpoil my difcourfe..
I tell thee, this is Alma's cafe,
Still afking, what fome wife-man fays,
Who does his mind in words reveal,
Which all muft grant; though few can fpell.
You tell your doctor, that y' are ill:
And what does he, but write a bill,
Of which you need not read one letter:
The worse the fcrawl, the dofe the better.
For if you knew but what you take;
Though you recover, he must break.
Ideas, forms, and intellects,
Have furnish'd out three different fects.
Subftance, or accident, divides
All Europe into adverse fides.
Now, as, engag'd in arms or laws,
You must have friends to back your caufe;
In philofophic matters fo
Your judgement must with others' go:
For as in fenates, fo in fchools,
Majority of voices rules.
Poor Alma, like a lonely deer,
O'er hills and dales does doubtful err:
With panting hafte, and quick furprize,
From every leaf that ftirs, fhe flies;
Till, mingled with the neighbouring herd,
She flights what erft the fingly fear'd :
And now, exempt from doubt and dread,
She dares purfue, if they dare lead;
As their example ftill prevails,
She tempts the ftream, or leaps the pales.
He then, quoth Dick, who by your rule
Thinks for himfelf, becomes a fool;
As party-man, who leaves the reft,
Is call'd but whimsical* at best.
* Some of the Tories, in the queen's reign, were diftinguished by that appellation.
Who, though they teach not, can protect.
Right, Richard, Mat in triumph cry'd :
So put off all mistrust and pride.
And, while my principles I beg,.
Pray anfwer only with your leg.
Believe what friendly I advise :
Be firft fecure; and then be wife.
The man within the coach that fits,
And to another's fkill fubmits,
Is fafer much (whate'er arrives)
And warmer too, than he that drives.
So Dick Adept, tuck back thy hair;
And I will pour into thy ear
Remarks, which none did e'er disclofe
In fmooth-pac'd verfe, or hobbling profe.
Attend, dear Dick; but don't reply:
And thou may'ft prove as wife as I.
When Alma now, in different ages,
Has finish'd her ascending stages;
Into the head at length she gets,
And there in public grandeur fits,
To judge of things, and cenfure wits.
Here, Richard, how could I explain
The various labyrinths of the brain!
Surprize my readers, whilft I tell 'em
Of cerebrum, and cerebellum!
How could I play the commentator
On dura and on pia mater!
Where hot and cold, and dry and wet,
Strive each the other's place to get;
And, with inceffant toil and ftrife,
Would keep poffeffion during life :
I could demonftrate every pore,
Where memory lays up all her store
And to an inch compute the station
"Twixt judgement and imagination :
O friend! I could difplay much learning,
At least to men of fmall difcerning.
The brain contains ten thoufand cells:
In each fome active fancy dwells;
Which always is at work, and framing
The feveral follies I was naming.
As in a hive's vimineous dome
Ten thousand bees enjoy their home;
Each does her ftudious actions vary,
Το go and come, to fetch and carry :
Each ftill renews her little labour;
Nor juftles her affiduous neighbour:
- whilft this thefis I maintain,
I fancy, Dick, I know thy brain.
O, with the mighty theme affected,
Could I but fee thy head diffected!
My head! quoth Dick, to ferve your whim! Spare that, and take fome other limb.
Sir, in your nice affairs of system,
Wife men propofe; but fools affift 'em.
Says Matthew Richard, keep thy head, And hold thy peace; and I'll proceed.
Proceed! quoth Dick: Sir, I aver,
You have already gone to far.
When people once are in the wrong,
Each line they add is much too long.
Who fafteft walks, but walks aftray,
Is only furtheft from his way.
Blefs your conceits! muft I believe,
Howe'er abfurd, what you conceive :
And, for your friendship, live and die
A papift in philosophy ?
I fay, whatever you maintain
Of Alma in the heart or brain;
The plaineft man alive may tell ye,
Her feat of empire is the belly:
From hence the fends out thofe fupplies,
Which makes us either ftout or wife;
The ftrength of every other member
Is founded on your belly-timber;
The qualms or raptures of your blood
Rife in proportion to your
And, if you would improve your thought,
You must be fed, as well as taught.
Your ftomach makes your fabrick roll;
Juft as the bias rules the bowl.
That great Achilles might employ
The ftrength, defign'd to ruin Troy;
He din'd on lion's marrow, fpread
On toafts of ammunition-bread :
But, by his mother fent away,
Amongst the Thracian girls to play,
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