Ford. Help to fearch my house this one time: if I find not what I feek, fhew no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-fport; let them fay of me, As jealous as Ford, that fearch'd a hollow wall-nut for his wife's leman 1. Satisfy me once more, once more fearch with me. Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.

Mrs. Page. Yea, by all means, if it be but to fcrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight fhall be any further afflicted, we two will be still the minifters.

Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly fham'd: and, methinks, there would be no period 5 to the jeft, fhould he not be publicly fham'd.

Ford. Old woman! what old woman's that? Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it, then, Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brent-shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. ford.

SCENE

The Garter inn.

III.

Enter Heft and Bardolph.

Bard. Sir, the Germans defire to have three of

Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does the? We are fimple men; we do not know what's brought to pafs under the profeffion of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by fpells, by the figure, and fuch daubery 2 as this is: be-your horfes: the duke himself will be to-morrow yond our element: we know nothing. Come at court, and they are going to meet him. down, you witch; you hag you, come down, I Lay.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband ;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter Falfiaff in women's cloaths, led by Mrs. Page. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Prat, come, give me your hand.

Ford. I'll prat her:Out of my doors, you witch! [Beats bim.] you hag, you baggage, you poulcat, you ronyon 3! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit Fal.

Mrs. Page. Are you not asham'd? I think, you have kill'd the poor woman.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-'Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

Eva. By yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'omans has a great peard; Ifpy a great peard under his muffler.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; fee but the iffue of my jealoufy: if I cry out thus upon no trail 4, never truft me when I open again.

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further :Come, gentlemen. [Exeunt. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him moft pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mafs, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought.

Hoft. What duke fhould that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: let me speakwith the gentlemen; they fpeak English? Bard. Sir, I'll call them to you.

Hoft. They fhall have my horfes; but I'll make them pay, I'll fauce them: they have had my houses a week at command; I have turn'd away my other guefts: they must come off; I'll fauce them: [Exeunt.

come.

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.
Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what
thou wilt;

rather will fufpect the fun with cold, [ftand,
Than thee with wantonnefs: now doth thy honour
In him that was of late an heretic,
As firm as faith.

Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as extreme in fubmiffion,
As in offence;

Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallow'd, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious fer-But let our plot go forward; let our wives vice. Yet once again, to make us public fport, Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, Where we may take him, and difgrace him for it. Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.. Page. How? to fend him word they'll meet him

Mrs. Ford. What think you? may we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witnefs of a good conicience, purfue him with any further revenge?

Mrs. Page. The fpirit of wantonnefs is, fure, fcar'd out of him; if the devil have him not in fec fimple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of wafte, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have ferved him?

in the park

At midnight! fie, fie; he will never come.

Eva. You fay, he hath been thrown into the rivers; and hath been grievously peaten, as an oid 'oman: methinks, there fhould be terrors in him,

4 This

To

I Lover. Leman is derived from leef, Dutch, beloved, and man. 2 Dauberies are disguises. 3 Ronyon, applied to a woman, imports much the fame with feall or fcab fpoken of a man. expreision is borrowed from hunting. Trail is the fcent left by the paffage of the game. ery out, is to open or bark. s Meaning, there would be no proper catastrophe. • That is, they mult pay.

F 2

that

that he should not come: methinks, his flesh is and I will be like a jack-an-apes alfo, to burn the punish'd, he shall have no defires. knight with my taber.

Page. So think I too.

Ford. This will be excellent. I'll go buy them

Mrs. Ford. Devife but how you'll ufe him when vizards.

he comes,

And let us two device to bring him hither.

Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that
Herne the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windfor foreft,
Doth all the winter time, at ftill midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blafts the tree, and takes the cattle;
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and thakes a
In a moft hideous and dreadful manner:
[chain
You have heard of fuch a fpirit; and well you know,
The fuperftitious idle-headed eld 2
Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear]
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device ;-
That Falftaff at that oak fhall meet with us.
We'll fend him word to meet us in the field,
Difguis'd like Herne, with huge horns on his head.
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
And in this fhape: When you have brought him
thither,

What fhall be done with him? what is your plot
Mrs. Page. That likewife we have thought
upon, and thus:

Nan Page my daughter, and my little fon,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll drefs]
Like urchins 3, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a fudden,
As Falitaff, the, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a faw-pit rush at once
With fome diffufed 4 fong: upon their fight,
W two in great amazednefs will fly:
Then let them all encircle him about,
Airy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why that hour of fairy revel,
In their fo facred paths he dares to tread
In fhape prophane ?

Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Let the fuppofed fairies pinch him found,
An! burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
We'll all prefent ourfelves; dif-horn the fpirit,
And mock him home to Windfor.

Ford. The children muft

Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do 't.
Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours;

Mrs. Page. My Nan fhall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That filk will I go buy ;-and in that time Shall mafter Slender fteal my Nan away, fide. And marry her at Eaton.- -Go, fend to Falitarf ftraight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook He'll tell me all his purpofe... Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us proAnd tricking for our fairies. [perties 5 Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans.
Mrs. Page. Go, miftrefs Ford,
Send Quickly to fir John, to know his mind..
[Exit Mrs. Ford..

I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an ideot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he fhall have her,
Though twenty thoufand worthier come to crave
[Exit..

her.

SCENE V.

The Garter inn.
Enter Hof and Simple.

Hoft. What would it thou have, boor? what, thick-fkin? fpeak, breathe, difcufs; brief, thort, quick, fnap.

Simp. Marry, fir, I come to speak with fir John Falftati from matter Slender.

Hoft. There's his chamber, his houfe, his caftle, his ftanding-bed, and truckle-bed 7; 'tis painted about with the ftory of the prodigal, fresh and new; Go, knock and call; he'll fpeak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, fay.

Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be fo bold as ftay, fir, 'till the come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Hoft. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robb'd: I'll call.Bully knight! Bully fir John! fpeak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine hoft, thine Ephefian, calls.

Falfaff above.

Fal. How now, mine hoft?

Hoft. Here's a Bohemian Tartar 9 tarries the

4 Dr.

1 To take, here means to feize or ftrike with a difeafe. 2 Meaning, age. 3 Urchin is a hedgehog; but is here used to fignify any thing little and dwarfish. Ouph is a fairy or goblin. Warburton fays, this fignifics a fong that ftrikes out into wild fentiments beyond the bounds of nature, fuch as thofe whofe fubject is fairy land. 5 Properties are incidenta! neceffaries to a theatre, exclufive of fcenes and dreffes. 6 To trick, is to drefs out. 7 The ufual furniture of chambers in thofe times confifted of a standing-bed, under which was a truckle, or running bed. In the former lay the malter, and in the latter the fervant. 8 That is, a Cannibal. The Holt ufes this highfounding word to aftonith Simple; an effect which he probably likewife means to produce by the word Ep fan, which follows. 9 See the preceding note.

coming..

Coming down of thy fat woman: Let her defcend, horfes and money. I tell you for good-will, look bully, let her descend; my chambers are honour-you: you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting❤ able: Fie! privacy? fie! ftogs, and 'tis not convenient you should be cozon'd; Fare you well.

Enter Falfaff.

Fal. There was, mine hoft, an old fat woman even now with me; but he's gone.

Simp. Pray you, fir, was 't not the wife woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry was it, muffel-fhell '; What would you with her?

Enter Caius.

Caius. Vere is mine Heft de Farterre?

[Exit.

Hoft. Here, mafter doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: But it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a duke de Ja. Simp. My mafter, fir, mafter Slender fent to her,miany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is feeing her go through the street, to know, fir, whe-know, to come: I tell you for good-vill: adieu. ther one Nym, fir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it. Simp. And what fays the, I pray, fir? Fal. Marry, the fays, that the very fame man, that beguil'd mafter Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it.

Simp. I would I could have spoken with the woman herfelf; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Hot. Ay, come; quick.

Simp. I may not conceal them, fir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou dy'ft.

Simp. Why, fir, they were nothing but about miftrefs Anne Page; to know, if it were my mafter's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Simp. What, fir?

Fal. To have her-or no: Go; fay the woman told me fo.

Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, fir?
Fal. Ay, fir Tike; like who more bold.
Simp. I thank your worship: Lihail make my
matter glad with thefe tidings. [Exit Simple.

[Exit. Hofi. Hue and cry, villain, go! affift me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I'm undone! [Exit.

If it

Fal. I would all the world might be cozen'd; for I have been cozen'd, and beaten too. hould come to the ear of the court, how I have been transform'd, and how my transformation hath been wafh'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermea's boots with me: 1 warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as creitfaln as a dry'd pear. I never profper'd fince I forefwore my felf at Primero 3. Well, if my wind were but long enough to fay my prayers, I would repent.Enter Miltrels Quickly. Now! whence came you?

Quit. From the two parties, forfooth,

⚫ Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they thall be both beftow'd! I have fuffer'd more for their fakes, more, than the villainous inconftancy of man's difpofition is able to bear.

Quic. And have not they fuffer'd? yes, I war

B. Thou art clerkly 2, thou art clerkly, firrant; fpeciously one of them; mistress Ford, good John: Was there a wife woman with thee? heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot fee Fal. Ay, that there was, mine hoft; one, that a white spot about her. hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter Bardolph.

Fal. What tell'it thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dex, Bard. Out, alas, fir! cozenage! mere cozenage!terity of wit, counterfeiting the action of an old Haft. Where be my horses? speak well of them, woman, deliver'd me, the knave conftable had varletto. fet me i' the ftocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for fo foon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a flough of mire; and fet fpurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Fauftus's.

Quic. Sir, let me fpeak with you in your cham.. ber: you fhall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will fay fomewhat. Good hearts, what ado is here to bring Hot. They are gone but to meet the duke, vil-you together! fure, one of you does not serve Lain: do not fay, they are fled; Germans are ho-heaven well, that you are so crof:'d, neft men.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans,

Eva. Where is mine hoft?
Hot. What is the matter, fir?

Eva, Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three couzin-germans, that has cozen'd all the hofts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of

Fal. Come up into my chamber.

SCENE
Enter Fenton and Hoft.

[Exeunt,

VI.

Hoft. Mafter Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all.

Fent. Yet hear me fpeak: Affift me in my purpose,

Faittiff probably calls Simple muffel-fhell, from his flanding with his mouth open, fcholar-like. 3 A game at cards.

P 3

2 That is,

And

ACT V.

fhape of man, mafter Brook, I fear not Goliah Enter Falfaff and Mrs. Quickly. with a weaver's beam; because I know alío, life is a fhuttle. I am in hafte; go along with RYTHEE, no more pratling ;-go-me; I'll tell you all, mafter Brook. Since I I'll hold: This is the third time; I hope pluck'd geefe, play'd truant, and whipp'd top, I good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they knew not what 'twas to be beaten, till lately. fay, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-Away.

Slen. Ay, forfooth; I have spoke with her, and Fal. I went to her, mafter Brook, as you fee, we have a nay-word 7 how to know one another. like a poor old man: but I came from her, maf- I come to her in white, and cry, mum; fhe cries, ter Brook, like a poor old woman. That fame knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealoufy in him, master Brook, that ever govern'd frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievoufly, in the shape of a woman; for in the

That is, the reprefentation. 2 In the letter. 3 Even here means as. 4 Perhaps we should read denote. 5 As quaint fignifies fantaftical, the meaning may be, fantastically dreft in green. To mince is to walk with affected delicacy. 7 That is, a watch-werd.

become it well. Heaven profper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we fhall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me.

SCEN E III.

[Exeunt.

Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Fal. My doe with the black fcut?-Let the fky rain potatoes 2; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves; hail kiffing-comfits 3, and fnow eringoes; let there come a tempeft of provocation, I will fhelter me here.

Mrs. Ford. Miftrefs Page is come with me, sweetheart.

Enter Miftrefs Page, Miftrefs Ford, and Dr. Caius. Mrs. Page. Maiter doctor, my daughter is in green: when you fee your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together. Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch; Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. [Exit. I will keep my fides to myself, my fhoulders for Mrs. Page. Fare you well, fir. My husband will the fellow of this walk 4, and my horns 1 bequeath not rejoice fo much at the abuse of Falítaff, as he your husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: like Herne the hunter? Why, now is Cupid a but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a child of confcience; he makes reftitution. As I am great deal of heart-break. a true fpirit, welcome! [Noife within

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welch devil Evans ?

Mrs. Page. They are all couch'd in a pit hard by Here's oak, with obfcur'd lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once difplay to the night.

Mrs. Ford. That cannot chufe but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amaz'd, he will be mock'd; if he be amaz'd, he will every way be

mock'd.

Enter Falftaff with a buck's head on. Fal. The Windfor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods affift me!-Remember, Jove, thou waft a bull for thy Europa; love fet on thy horns.-Oh powerful love! that, in fome refpects, makes a beaft a man ; in fome other, a man a beaft.-You were alfo, Jupiter, a fwan, for the love of Leda ;-Oh, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goofe ?-A fault done first in the form of a beaft ;-0 Jove, a beaftly fault!-and then another fault in the femblance of a fowl;-think on 't, Jove; a foul fault.- -When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windfor ftag; and the fatteft, I think, i' the foreft: Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to pifs my tallow Who comes here? my doe?

catives.

Mrs. Page. Alas! what noife?
Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our fins!
Fal. What shall this be?
Mrs. Ford.

Mrs. Page.

Away, away. [The women run out.

Fal. I think the devil will not have me damn'd,
left the oil that is in me fhould fet hell on fire; he
never would elfe crofs me thus.
Enter Sir Hugh like a fatyr; Quickly, and others,
drefs'd like fairies, with tapers.

Quic. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white,
You moon-fhine revellers, and fhades of night,
You orphan-heirs of fixed destiny,
Attend your office, and your quality.-
Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy o-yes.

Eva. Elves, lift your names; filence, you airy toys.
Cricket, to Windfor chimneys fhalt thou leap:
Where fires thou find'st unrak'd, and hearths un-
There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry : [fwept,
Our radiant queen hates fluts, and fluttery, [die:
Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them, thall
I'll wink and couch: No man their works must eye.
[Lies down upon his face.
Eva. Where's Bede?-Go you, and where you
find a maid,

That, ere the fleep, hath thrice her prayers faid,
Rein up the organs of her fantasy 6;
Sleep the as found as careless infancy;
But thofe, as fleep, and think not on their fins, [fhins,
Pineh them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, fides, and
Quie. About, about ;

Search Windfor caftle, elves, within and out;
Strew good luck, ouphes, on every facred room;
That it may ftand till the perpetual doom,
In ftate as wholfome 7, as in state 'tis fit;
Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
The feveral chairs of order look you fcour
With juice of balm, and every precious flower:
Each fair inftalment coat, and feveral creft,
With loyal blazon, evermore be bleft!

A technical phrase spoken of bucks who grow lean after rutting-time, and may be applied to men. 2 Potatoes, when they were first introduced in England, were fuppofed to be strong provo4 That is, for the keeper of this 3 Sugar-plums perfum'd to make the breath fweet. diftrict. By custom, the fhoulders and humbles were a perquifite of the keeper's. 5 The whortleberry. That is, elevate her ideas above fenfual defires and imaginations. 7 Whelfome here fignifies entire perfect.

And