Pit. How now, Mephoftophilus 1? but in honeft, civil, godly company, for this trick; if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with thofe that have Nym. Slice, I fay! pauca, pauca; flice! that's the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. my humour. Slen. Where's Simple, my man?-can you tell, coufin? Eva. Peace, I pray you! Now let us underftand: There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is-mafter Page, fidelicet, matter Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, laftly and finally, mine hoft of the Garter. Page. We three to hear it, and end it between them. Eva. Fery goot; I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the caufe, with as great difcreetly as we can, Fal. Piftol, Pift. He hears with ears, ? Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrafe is this, He bears with ear? Why, it is affectations. Fal. Piftol, did you pick mafter Slender's purfe Sien. Ay, by thefe gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again elfe) of feven groats in mill-fixpences, and two Edward fhovel-boards 3; that coft me two fhilling and two-pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by thefe gloves. Fel. Is this true, Piftol? Eva. No; it is falfe, if it is a pick-purfe. I combat challenge of this latten bilboe4: Nym. Be advis'd, Sir, and pafs good humours: I will fay, marry trap, with you, if you run the nut-hook's humour 7 on me; that is the very note of it. Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an aís. Fal. What fay you, Scarlet and John? Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all thefe matters deny'd, gentle men; you hear it, Enter Miftrefs Anne Page with wines mistress Ford and miftrefs Page following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit Anne Page. Slen. O heaven! this is miftrefs Anne Page. Page. How now, miftrefs Ford? Fal. Miftrefs Ford, by my troth, you are very well met; by your leave, good miftrefs. [Killing ber Page. Wife, bid thefe gentlemen welcome :Come, we have a hot venifon pafty to dinner come, gentlemen, I hope, we shall drink down all unkindnefs. [Exe. all but Shal. Slend, and Evans, Slen. I had rather than forty fhillings, I had my book of fongs and fonnets here:Enter Simple. How now, Simple; where have you been; Imuft wait on myfelf, muft I? You have not the book of riddles about you, have you? Sim. Book of riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas laft, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ? Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry this, coz: There is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by fir Hugh here;-do you understand me? Slen. Ay, fir, you fhall find me reasonable; if Eva. Give ear to his motions, mafter Slender: will defcription the matter to you, if you be ca pacity of it. I Slen. Nay, I will do, as my coufin Shallow fays: I pray you, pardon me; he's a juftice of peace in his country, fimple though I stand here. Eva. But that is not the queftion; the question is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, fir. Eva. Marry is it; the very point of it; to Bard. Why, fir, for my part, I fay, the gentleman had drunk himfeif out of his five fentences. Eva. It is his five fenfes : fie, what the igno-miftrefs Anne Page. rance is! Bard. And being fap, fir, was, as they fay, cafhier'd; and fo conclufions pafs'd the careires". Slen. Ay, you ípake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter; I'll never be drunk whilst I live again, Slen. Why, if it be fo, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands. Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philofophers hold, that the lips is 1 The name of a spirit or familiar, in the old flory book of Sir John Fauftus, or Joan Fauft, and in thofe times acant phrafe of abuse. 2 Mill'd-fixpences were used by way of counters to caft up money. 3 These were the broad fhillings of Edward VI. and at that time ufed at the play of Jhovel-board. 4 Mr. Theobald is of opinion, that by latten bilboe Piftol, fecing Slender fuch a flim, puny wight, would intimate, that he is as thin as a plate of that compound metal which is called latten; whilft Mr. Steevens thinks, that latten bilboe means no more than a blade as thin as a lath. 5 That is, hear the word of denial in my lips. Thou ly'. We often talk of giving the lie in a man's teeth, or in his throat. Putol chooses to throw the word of denial in the lips of his adverfary. When a man was caught in his own ftratagem, the exclamation of infult probably was marry, trap! 7 Nuthook was a term of reproach in cant ftrain; and, if you run the nutlook's humour on me, is in plain English, if you Jay I am a thief. A military phrase, parcel Shal. That you must: Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, coufin, in any reafon. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, fweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you Jove the maid? your dogs bark fo! be there bears i' the town? Anne. I think there are, fir; I heard them talk'd of. Slen. I love the fport well; but I fhall as foon quarrel at it, as any man in England :-You are afraid, if you fee the bear loofe, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, fir. Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have feen Sackerfon loofe, twenty times; and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have fo cry'd and fhriek'd at it, that it pafs'd 3:but women, indeed, cannot abide 'ém; they are very ill-favour'd rough things. Re-enter Page. Page. Come, gentle mafter Slender, come; we ftay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, fir. Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Slen. I will marry her, fir, at your requeft; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease upon better acquaintance, ír: come, come. when we are marry'd, and have more occafion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you fay, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely diffolved, and diffolutely. Eva. It is a fery difcretion anfwer; fave, the faul' is in the 'ort diffolutely: the 'ort is, according to our meaning, refolutely ;-his meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my coufin meant well. Slen. Ay, or elie I would I might be hang'd, la. Re-enter Anne Page. Shal. Here comes fair miftrefs Anne:-Would I were young, for your fake, mistress Anne! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father defires your worship's company. Page. Come on, fir. Slen. Miftrefs Anne, yourfelf fhall go first. Slen. Truly, I will not go firft; truly-la; I will not do you that wrong. Anne. I pray you, fir. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly, than trouble, fome: you do yourself wrong, indeed-la. [Exeunt, SCENE II. Enter Evans and Simple. Eva. Go your ways, and atk of Dr. Caius' houfe, which is the way and there dwells one miftrefs Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurfe, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer. Simp. Well, fir. Shal. I will wait on him, fair miftrefs Anne. Eva. Od's plefied will! I will not be abfence at the grace. [Ex. Shal. and Evans. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, fir? Eua. Nay, it is petter yet :-give her this letSlen. No, I thank you, forfooth, heartily; Iter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with miftrefs Anne Page; and the letter is, to defire and require her to folicit your mafter's defires am very well. cheese to come. Anne. The dinner attends you, fir. Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forfooth :to mistress Anne Page: I pray you be gone; I will -Go, firrah, for all you are my man, go, wait make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and upon my cousin Shallow: [Exit Simple.] A juftice [Exeunt feverally. of peace fometime may be beholden to his friend for a man :-I keep but three men and a boy yet,| till my mother be dead: But what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not fit till you come. Sten. I'faith, I'll eat nothing: I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, fir, walk in. III. SCENE Hoft. What fays my bully-rook? speak schollarly, and wifely. Fal. Truly, mine hoft, I must turn away fome of my followers. Heft. Difcard, bully Hercules; cashier : let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I fit at ten pounds a week. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you : bruis'd my fhin the other day with playing at fword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys Hoff. Thou 'rt an emperor, Cæfar, Keifar, and for a dish of stew'd pruens; and, by my troth, I Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he thall cannot abide the smell of hot meat fince. Why do draw, he shall tap: faid I well, bully Hector 1 That is, three different fet-to's, bouts, a technical term from the French, venue, 2 The name of a bear. 3 Meaning, that it paffed all expreflion. A popular adjuration of thofe times. Cock is no more than a corruption of the Sacred Name, as appears from cock's wounds, cock's bones, and cock's mother, and fome other exclamations which occur in the old Moralitics and Interludes. The pye is a table in the old Roman offices, fhewing how to find out the fervice which is to be read on Cách dạy Fal Fal. Do fo, good mine hoft. Hoft. I have spoke; let him follow: Let me fee thee froth, and lime ; I am at a word; follow. [Exit Hoft. eyes too; examin'd my parts with moft judicious Pit. Then did the fun on dung-hill shine. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapfter is a good trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin; a Fal. O, the did so courfe o'er my exteriors with wither'd ferving-man, a fresh tapfter: Go; adieu. fuch a greedy intention 9, that the appetite of her Bard. It is a life that I have defir'd: I will eye did feem to fcorch me up like a burning-glass ! [Exit Bard. Here's another letter to her: the bears the purfe thrive. Pift. O bafe Gongarian wight 2! wilt thou the fpigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. too; fhe is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater 10 to them both, and they fhall be exchequers to me; they thall be my Eaft and Weft-Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to miftrefs Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Fal. I am glad, I am fo acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unfkilful finger, he kept not time. Pift. Shall I fir Pandarus of Troy become, Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's And by my fide wear steel? then, Lucifer take all reft 3. Nym. I will run no bafe humour: here, take the Pit. Convey, the wife it call; Steal! foh; a humour letter; I will keep the haviour of reputation. fico for the phrase ! Fal. Well, firs, I am almost out at heels. Fal. Hold, firral, bear you thefe letters tightly 11; Sail like my pinnace 12 to these golden fhores. [To Robin. Fal. There is no remedy; I must cony-catch, I Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailftones, go; muft shift. Pift. Young ravens must have food 4. Pit. Two yards, and more. Fal. No quips now, Piftol: Indeed, I am in the waift two yards about: but I am now about no wafte; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I fpy entertainment in her; the difcourfes, the carves 5, the gives the leer of invitation: I can conftrue the action of her familiar ftile; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am fir John Falfaf's. Pit. He hath Rudy'd her will, and tranflated her will; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour país? Fal. Now, the report goes, the has all the rule of her husband's purfe; the hath a legion of angels. Pift. As many devils entertain 7; and, To her, boy, fay I. Nym. The humour rifes; it is good: humour me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good Trudge, plod, áway, o' the hoof; feek fhelter, pack! French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page. Pift. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd, And high and low beguiles the rich and poor: Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge. Pift. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. With both the humours, I: I will difcufs the humour of this love to Ford. His dove will prove, his gold will hold, And his foft couch defile. Nym. My bumour shall not cool: I will incenfe Ford to deal with poifon; I will pofiets him with yellownefs, for the revolt of mien 15 is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pift. Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I fe cond thee; troop on. [Exeunt. This alludes to the tricks of frothing beer and liming fack, practifed in the time of Shakspeare. The first was done by putting foap into the bottom of the tankard when they drew the beer; the other, by mixing line with the fack (1. e. fherry) to make it sparkle in the glass. 2 This is a parody on a line taken from one of the old bombaft plays. 3 Nym means to fay, that the perfection of ftealing is to do it in the fhortest time poffible. 4 A proverb. 5 In thole times the young of both fexes were inftructed in carving, as a neceffary accomplishment That is, explained. 7 The old quarto reads: As many devils attend her! 8 Probably from oeiades, French. 9 That is, eagerness of defire. 10 By this is meant efcheatour, an officer in the Exchequer, in no go repute with the common people. 11 Perhaps we should read rightly. 12 A pinnace anciently fees to have fignified a finall vellel or floop, attending on a larger. At prefent it signifies only a man of war's boat 13 Fullam is a cant term for falfe dice, high and low. Gourd was another inftrument of gaming. 14 That is, jealoufy. 15 Revolt of mien means change of countenance, one of the effects he has just been afcribing to jealousy. E SCENE Enter Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and John Rugby. Quic. What; John Rugby!-I pray thee, go to the cafement, and fee if you can fee my matter, mafter Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abufing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit Rugby. Quic. Go; and we'll have a poffet for't foon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a fea-coal fire 1. An honeft, willing, kind fellow, as ever fervant shall come in houfe withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate 2: his worit fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is fomething peevith 3 that way: but no body but has his fault; -but let that pais. Peter Simple, you fay your name is ? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quic. And mafter Slender's your master? Sim. Ay, forfooth. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Caius. Ouy, mettez le au mon pocket; Depechez, Rug. Here, Sir. Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublic? dere is fome fimples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I fhall leave behind. Quic. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet ?Villaine, Larron! Rugby, my rapier. [Pulls Simple out of the clafet. Quit. Good mafter, be content. Gaius. Verefore fhall I be content-a? Galas. Vat fhall de honeft man do in my closet? Quic. Does he not wear a great round beard, dere is no honest man dat fhall come in my closet. like a glover's paring-knife? Sim. No, forfooth: he hath but a little wee4 face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-colour'd beard. Quic. A foftly-fprighted man, is he not? Sim. Ay, forfooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands", as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener. Quic. How fay you ?----oh, I should remember him; Does he not hold up his head, as it were and ftrut in his gait? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quic. Well, heaven fend Anne Page no worfe fortune! Tell mafter parfon Evans, I will do what I can for your maiter: Anne is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter Rugby. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quic. We fhall all be theat 7: Run in here, good young man; go into this clofet. [Shuts Simple in the clofet.] He will not ftay long.-What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I fay !-Go, John, go enquire for my mafter; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home ;--and down, down, a-down-a, &c. [Sing Enter Doctor Caius. 9 Caius, Vat is you fing? I do not like defe toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my clofet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat fpeck? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forfooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himfelf: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. Qgic. I befeech you, be not fo flegmatic; hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from parton Hugh. Caius. Vell. Sim. Ay, forfooth, to defire her to- Caius. Peace-a your tongue: Speak-a your tale. Sim. To defire this honeft gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mittress Anne Page for my matter in the way of marriage. Quic. This is all, indeed-la; but I'll never put my finger in the fire, and need not. Caius. Sir Hugh fend-a you?-Rugby, baillez me fome paper: Tarry you a little while. Quic. I am glad he is fo quict: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him to loud, and fo melancholy;-but notwithstanding, man, I'll do for your mafter what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my mafter,-1 may call him my mafter, look you, for I keep his houfe; and I wath, wring, brew, bake, fcour, drefs meat and drink, make the bed., and do all myself. Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand. Quic. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: And to be up early, and down late ;-but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it) my mafter himfelf is in love with miftrefs Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to Sir [ide. Hugh; by gar, it is a fhallenge: I vill cut his That is, when my mafler is in bed. 2 Bate is an obfolete word, fignifying Arife, contention. 3 Foolish. 4 We, in the northern dialect, fignifies very little. s Cain and Judas, in the tapestries and pictures of old, were reprefented with yellow beards. 6 Probably an allufion to the jocky mealuie, fo many hands high, afed by grooms when fpeaking of horses. 7 That is, fcolded." To deceive her after, the fings as if at her work. fignifics a cafe of furgeons influments. 9 Beitier, in French, throat throat in de park; and I vill teach a fcurvy jack-nape priest to meddle or make: you may be gone; it is not good you tarry hereby gar, I vill cut all his two ftones; by gar, he shall not have a ftone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple. Quic. Alas, he fpeaks but for his friend. Catas. It is no matter-a for dat :-do you not tell-a me dat I fhall have Anne Page for myfelf? Quic. In truth, fir, and fhe is pretty, and honeft, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lofe my fuit? Quic. Troth, fir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be fworn on a book, fhe loves you:-Have not your worship Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? by gar, I vill kill de jack prieft; and I have ap-a wart about your eye? Quic. Sir, the maid loves you, and all fhall be well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, the goulere. Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me :By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I fhall turn your head out of door :-Follow my heels, Rugby. [Ex. Caius and Rugby. Quic. You fhall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that never a woman in Windfor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho? Quit. Who's there, I trow? come near the houfe, I pray you. Enter Mr. Fenton. Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ? Quic. The better that it pleases your good worfhip to afk. Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?! Quic. Well, thereby hangs a tale :-good faith, it is fuch another Nan ;- --but 1 deteft, an honest maid as ever broke bread :-We had an hour's talk of that wart ;-I shall never laugh but in that maid's company!But indeed the is given too much to allicholly and mufing: But for you-Wellgo to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day: Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou feeft her before me, commend me- Quic. Will I? ay, faith, that we will: and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great hafte now. [Exit. Quic. Farewell to your worship.-Truly, an honeft gentleman; but Anne loves him not; I know Anne's mind as well as another does: Out upon't! what have I forgot? [Exit. Enter Mifirefs Page with a letter. What a Herod of Jewry is this ?- Mistress Page. WHAT, have I 'cap'd love- What an unweigh'd behaviour has this F'emish letters in the holy-day-time of my beauty, and am I now a fubject for thein? Let me fee: Afk me no reason why I love you; for 2 though love ufe reafon for his precifian, he admits bim not for bis counsellor : You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's fympathy: you are merry, fo am I; Ha! ba! then there's more fympathy: you love fack, and fo do I: Would you defire better Sympathy? let it Juffice thee, mififs Page, (at the leaft, if the love of foldier can fuffice) that I love thee. I will not fay, pity me, 'tis not a foldier-like phrase; but I fay, love me. By me, That is, morbus Gallicus. John Falstaff. drunkard pick'd (with the devil's name) out of my converfation, that he dares in this manner affay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!-What should I fay to him?--I was then frugal of my mirth:-heaven forgive me!-Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How fhall I be reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as fure as his guts are made of puddings. to Enter Mifirefs Ford. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! truft me, I was going your house. Mrs. Page. And, truft me, I was coming to you. You look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to fhew to the contrary. Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet, I fay, I could 2 The meaning is, though love permit reafon to tell what is fit to be done, ke fellom follows its advice. By precifian, is meant one who pretends to a more than ordinary degree of virtue and fanctity. 3 Meaning, at all times. |