Bera. So did I too; and he fwore he would have bestow'd on you, who, as I take it, have marry her to-night. Jeln. Come, let us to the banquet. [Exeunt John and Bora. And trust no agent: for beauty is a witch, Bene. Count Claudio? fol'n his bird's neit. Pedro. I will but teach them to fing, and restore them to the owner. Bene. If their finging anfwer your faying, by my faith, you fay honestly. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you ; the gentleman, that danc'd with her, told her, she is much wrong'd by you. Bene. O, the mifus'd me paft the endurance of a block: an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would have anfwer'd her; my very vifor began to affume life and scold with her: She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's Hero.jefter; and that was duller than a great thaw ; huddling jeft upon jeft, with fuch impoffible conveyance, upon me, that I flood like a man at a mark, with a whole army fhooting at me: She fpeaks poignards, and every word ftabs: if her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own were no living near her, the would infect to the bafinefs, count. What fashion will you wear the north ftar. I would not marry her, though the garland of? About your neck, like an ufurer's were endowed with all that Adam had left him chain? or under your arm, like a lieutenant's before he tranfgrefs'd: fhe would have made Her、 scarf? You must wear it one way, for the prince cules have turn'd spit; yea, and have cleft his club 4 hath got your Hero. Bene. Come, will you go with me? Claud. I with him joy of her. to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her; you fhall find her the internal Até in good appa Bene. Why, that's fpoken like an honeft dro-rel. ver; fo they fell bullocks. But did you think the prince would have ferved you thus ? Claud. I pray you leave me. Bent. Ho! now you strike like the blind man: 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the pot. I would to God, some scholar would conjure her; for, certainly, while the is here, a man may live as quiet in hell, as in a fanctuary; and people fin upon purpofe, because they would go thither: fo, indeed, all difquiet, horror, and perturbation follow her. Enter Claudio, Beatrice, Leonato, and Hero. Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. [Exit. Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep Bene. Will your grace command me any fervice into fedges. But, that my lady Beatrice should to the world's end? I will go on the flighter erknow me, and not know me! The prince's fool rand now to the Antipodes, that you can devife to -Ha? it may be I go under that title, because fend me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now I am merry.—Yea; but so; I am apt to do my- from the fartheft inch of Afia; bring you the felf wrong: I am not fo reputed: it is the bafe, length of Prefter John's foot; fetch you a hair off though bitter difpofition of Beatrice, that puts the the great Cham's beard; do you any emballage to world into her person, and so gives me out. Well, the Pigmies, rather than hold three words conferI'll be reveng'd as I may. ence with this harpy: You have no employment for me? Re-enter Don Pedro. Pedro. Now, fignior, where's the count? Did you fee him? Bene. Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren; I told him, and, I think, I told him true, that your grace had got the good will of this young lady; and I offered him my company to 2 willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forfaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipt. Pedro. To be whipt! What's his fault? Bene. The flat tranfgreflion of a fchool-boy; who, being overjoy'd with finding a bird's neft, thews it his companion, and he steals it. Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust a tranfgreffion? The tranfgreffion is in the ftealer. Bene. Yet it had not been amifs, the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himfelf, and the rod he might Pedro. None, but to defire your good company. Bene. O God, fir, here's a difh I love not; I cannot endure my lady Tongue. Pedro. Come, lady, come; you have loft the heart of fignior Benedick. Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me a while; and I gave him ufe for it, a double heart for a fingle one: marry, once before he won it of me with falfe dice, therefore your grace may well fay, I have loft it. Pedro. You have put him down, lady, you have put him down. Beat. So I would not he should do me, my lord, left I fhould prove the mother of fools. I have brought count Claudio, whom you fent me to feek. Pedro. Why, how now, count? wherefore are you fad ? Claud. Not fad, my lord. Claud. Claud. Neither, my lord. Claud. To-morrow, my Ird: Time goes on Beat. The count is neither fad, nor fick, nor crutches, till love have all his rites. merry, nor well: but civil, count; civil as an Leon. Not till Monday, my dear fon, which is orange, and fomething of that jealous complexion. hence a just seven-night and a time too brief too; Pedro. faith, lady, I think your blazon to be to have all things anfwer my mind. true; though, I'll be worn, if he be fo, his con- Pedro. Come, you thake the head at fo long ccit is falfe. Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy a breathing; but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the name, and fair Hero is won; I have broke with time thall not go dully by us; I will in the interim, her father, and his good will obtained; name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy! Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and all grace fay Amen to it! Beat. Speak, count, 'tis your cue. undertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to bring fignior Benedick and the lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection, the one with the other. I would fain have it a match; and I doubt not to fathion it, if you three will but minifter fuch affiftance as I fhall give you direction. Leon. My lord, I am for you, though it cost me Claud. Silence is the perfecteft herald of joy: I were but little happy, if I could fay how much.-ten nights' watchings. Lady, as you are mine, I am yours: I give away myfelf for you, and doat upon the exchange. Claud. And I, my lord. Pedro. And you too, gentle Hero? Hero. I will do any modeft office, my lord, to Beat. Speak, coufin: or, if you cannot, ftop his mouth with a kifs, and let him not speak neither.help my coufin to a good husband. Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merry heart. Pedro. And Benedick is not the unhopefulleft Beat. Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it hufband that I know: thus far I can praise him; keeps on the windy fide of care :-My couûn tells him in his ear, that he is in her heart. Claud. And fo the doth, coufin. band. he is of a noble ftrain, of approv'd valour, and confirm'd honefty. I will teach you how to humour your coufin, that the fhall fall in love with Bene Beat. Good lord, for alliance !-Thus goes every dick :—And I, with your two helps, will fo pracone to the world but I, and I am fun-burn'd; I tife on Benedick, that in defpight of his quick may fit in a corner, and cry, heigh-ho! for a huf-wit and his queafy ftomach, he thall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one. longer an archer; his glory fhall be ours, for we Beat. I would rather have one of your father's are the only love-gods. Go in with me, and I will getting Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? tell you my drift. Your father got excellent hufbands, if a maid] could come by them. Pedro. Will you have me, lady? Beat. No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days; your grace is too caftly to wear every day :-But, I befeech your grace, pardon me; I was born to speak all mirth, and no matter. Pedro. Your filence nfoft offends me, and to be merry beft becomes you; for, out of queftion, you were born in a merry hour. Bear. No, fure, my lord, my mother cry'd; but then there was a star danc'd, and under that was born. Coufins, God give you joy. Leon. Niece, will you look to thofe things I told you of? Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle.-By your grace's pardon. [Exit Beatrice. Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-fpirited lady. Leon. There's little of the melancholy element in her, my lord: the is never fad, but when the SCENE II. [Exeunt. Another Apartment in Leonato's House. Enter Don John and Borachio. fabn. It is fo; the count Claudio fhall marry the daughter of Leonato. Kora. Yea, my lord, but I can crofs it. John. Any bar, any crois, any impediment will be medicinable to me: I am fick in difpleafure to him; and whatfoever comes athwart his affection, ranges evenly with mine. How can't thou crois this marriage? Bora. Not honefly, my lord; but fo covertly that no difhonefty thall appear in me. Fabn. Shew me briefly how. Bora. I think, I told your lordship, a year fince, how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waiting gentlewoman to Hero. Job. I remember. Bora. I can, at any unfeasonable inftant of the fleeps; and not ever fad then; for I have heard my night, appoint her to look out at her lady's chamdaughter fay, the hath often dream'd of unhappi-ber window. nefs, and wak'd herfelf with laughing. Pedro. She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband. Leon. O, by no means; the mocks all her wooers out of fuit. Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Benedick. Leon. O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week marry'd, they would talk themfelves mad. Pedo. Count Claudio, when mean you to go to church? John. What life is in that, to be the death of this marriage? Bora. The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go you to the prince your brother; fpare not to tell him, that he hath wrong'd his honour in marrying the renown'd Claudio (whofe eftimation do you mightily hold up) to a contaminated ftale, fuch a one as Hero. John. What proof shall I make of that? To go to the world was a phrafe then" in ufe, fignifying, to be marriel. 2 Unhappiness here gnifics, a wild, wanton, unlucky trick. Bura Bora. Proof enough to mifufe the prince, to vex another virtuous; yet I am well: but till all graces Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato: Look be in one woman, one woman fhall not come in you for any other iffue? my grace. Rich fhe fhall be, that's certain; wife, John. Only to defpite them, I will endeavour or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; any thing. fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come [Withdraws. Enter Don Pedre, Leonato, Claudio, and Balthazar. Pedro. Come, shall we hear this musick? Claud. Yea, my good lord:-How ftill the evening is, Bora. Go then, find me a meet hour to draw not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of Don Pedro, and the count Claudio, alone: tell good difcourfe, an excellent musician, and her hair them, that you know Hero loves me; intend afhall be of what colour it please God. Ha! the kind of zeal both to the prince and Claudio, as-prince and monfieur Love? I will hide me in the in a love of your brother's honour who hath made arbour. this match; and his friend's reputation, who is thus like to be cozen'd with the femblance of a maid,— that you have difcover'd thus. They will fcarcely believe this without trial: Offer them inftances; which shall bear no less likelihood, than to fee me at her chamber window; hear me call Margaret, Hero; hear Margaret term me Claudio; and bring them to fee this, the very night before the intended wedding for, in the mean time, I will fo| fashion the matter, that Hero fhall be abfent; and there fhall appear fuch feeming truth of Hero's difloyalty, that jealoufy fhall be call'd affurance, and all the preparation over-thrown. foba. Grow this to what adverfe iffue it can, I will put it in practice: Be cunning in the working this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats. As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony! Pedo. It is the witnefs full of excellency, Balth. Because you talk of wooing, I will fing: Since many a wooer doth commence his fuit Bora. Be thou conftant in the accufation, and To her he thinks not worthy; yet he wooes; my cunning fhall not fhame me. Bene. Boy Boy. Signior. [Exeunt. Yet will he fwear he loves. Pedra. Nay, pray thee, come: Do it in notes. Balth. Note this before my notes, There's not a note of mine, that's worth the noting. Pedro. Why thefe are very crotchets that he fpeaks; Note, notes, forfooth, and noting! Bene. Now, Divine air! now is his foul ra Bene. In my chamber-window lies a book; bring vifh'd-Is it not strange, that sheeps guts fhould it hither to me in the orchard. Boy. I am here already, fir. hale fouls out of men's bodies?-Well, a horn for S O N G. But let them go, Bene. I know that ;-but I would have thee hence, and here again. [Exit Boy.]-I do much wonder, that one man, feeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviours to love, will, after he hath laugh'd at fuch fhallow follies in others, become the argument of his own fcorn, by falling in love: And fuch a man is Claudio. I have known, when there was no mufick with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabor and the pipe: I have known, when he would have walk'd ten mile afoot, to fee a good armour; and now will he lye ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain, and to the purpofe, like an honeft man, and a foldier; and now is he turn'd orthographer; his words are a very fantastical ban quet, just fo many ftrange difhes. May I be fo converted, and fee with thefe eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I wil not be worn, but love may transform me to an oyfter; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of nie, he fhall never make me fuch a fool. One woman is fair; Bene. [Afde.] An he had been a dog, that should yet I am well: another is wife; yet I am well have how I'd thus, they would have hang'd him: : Of dumps fo dull and heavy; and, I pray God, his bad voice bode no mischief! [tween the fheet? I had as lief have heard the night-raven, come what plague could have come after it. Claud. That. Leon. O, the tore the letter into a thousand half Pedro. Yea, marry ;-Doft thou hear, Balthazar ? pence 2; rail'd at herself, that the should be fo I pray thee, get us fome excellent mufick; for immodeft to write to one that the knew would to-morrow night we would have it at the lady flout her: I measure him, says the, by my otʊn spirit'; Hero's chamber-window. for, I bould flout him, if be writ to me; yea, though I love him, I should. Balth. The best I can, my lord. [Ex. Balthazar. Pedro. Do fo: farewell. Come hither, Leonato ; What was it you told me of to-day, that your niece Beatrice was in love with fignior Benedick ? Claud. O, ay;-Stalk on, stalk on, the fowl fits. [Afide to Pedro.] I did never think that lady would have lov'd any man. Claud. Then down upon her knees fhe falls, weeps, fobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curfes ;-0 fweet Benedick! God give me patience. Leon. She doth indeed; my daughter says fo: and the ecftacy hath fo much overborne her, that my daughter is fometime afraid fhe will do defperate outrage to herself; It is very true. Leon. No, nor I neither; but most wonderful, that the should so dote on fignior Benedick, whom The hath in all outward behaviours feem'd ever to by fome other, if the will not discover it. .abhor. Pedro. It were good, that Benedick knew of it Claud. To what end? He would but make a Bene. Is't poffible? Sits the wind in that corner?fport of it, and torment the poor lady worse. [Afide. Pedro. An he fhould, it were an alms to hang Leon. By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what him: She's an excellent fweet lady; and, out of to think of it, but that the loves him with an en-all fufpicion, she is virtuous. raged affection :-it is past the infinite of thought. Pedro. May be, the doth but counterfeit. Claud. Faith, like enough. Claud. And he is exceeding wife. Pedro. In every thing, but in loving Benedick. Leon. O God! counterfeit! There never was in fo tender a body, we have ten proofs to one counterfeit of paffion came fo near the life of pas-that blood hath the victory. I am forry for her, fion, as the discovers it. as I have juft caufe, being her uncle and her guardian. Pedro. Why, what effects of paffion fhews the Pedro. I would, fhe had bestowed this dotage [Afide. on me; I would have daff'd 3 all other refpects, Leon. What effects, my lord! She will fit you, and made her half myself: I pray you, tell BeneYou heard my daughter tell you how. Claud. She did, indeed. Pedro. How, how, I pray you? You amaze me: I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all affaults of affection. Leon. I would have fworn it had, my lord; efpecially against Benedick. Bene. [Afide.] I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it: knavery cannot, fure, hide himself in fuch reverence. Claud. He hath ta'en the infection; hold it up. [Afide. Pedro. Hath fhe made her affection known to Benedick? Leon. No; and fwears fhe never will: that's her torment. dick of it, and hear what he will fay. Leon. Were it good, think you? Claud. Hero thinks furely, fhe will die: for the fays, the will die if he love her not; and she will die ere the make her love known; and the will die if he woo her, rather than the will bate one breath of her accuftom'd croifness. Pedro. She doth well: if the should make tender of her love, 'tis very poffible, he'll fcom it; for the man, as you know all, hath a contemptible 4 fpirit. Claud. He is a very proper man. Pedro. He hath, indeed, a good outward hap Claud. 'Tis true, indeed; fo your daughter fays:are like wit. Shall I, fays the, that have fo oft encounter'd bim with fearn, write to him that I love him? Leon. This fays the now when the is beginning Pedro. As Hector, I affure you and in the managing of quarrels you may fay he is wife; for to write to him: for the'll be up twenty times aeither he avoids them with great difcretion, or unnight; and there the will fit in her fmock, 'till dertakes them with a chriftian-like fear. the have writ a sheet of paper :-my daughter tells Leon. If he do fear God, he must neceffarily us all. keep peace; if he break the peace, he ought Claud. Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I re-to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling. member a pretty jeft your daughter told us of. Pedro. And fo will he do; for the man doth Leon. Oh,-When the had writ it, and was read-fear God, howfoever it seems not in him, by fome ing it over, the found Benedick and Beatrice be- large jests he will make. Well, I am forry for This alludes to the practice of fhooting with a falking-horfe; by which the fowler anciently concealed himself from the fight of the game. 2 That is, into a thousand pieces of the fame bigness. 3 To daff, like to deff, meant to do off to put afide. 4 i. e, contemptuous. your your niece: Shall we go feek Benedick, and tell | virtuous;-'tis fo, I cannot reprove it :-and wife-but for loving me :-By my troth, it is no him of her love? Leon. Nay, that's impoffible; she may wear her heart out first. Glaud. Never tell him, my lord; let her wear addition to her wit ;-nor no great argument of it out with good counsel. her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her. I may chance have fome odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have rail'd fo long Pedro. Well, we will hear further of it by your against marriage: But doth not the appetite alter? daughter; let it cool the while. I love Benedick | A man loves the meat in his youth, that he canwell; and I could with he would modeftly ex- not endure in his age :-Shall quips, and fentences, amine himself, to fee how much he is unworthy and these paper bullets of the brain, awe a man to have fo good a lady. from the career of his humour? No: the world Leon. My lord, will you walk? dinner is ready. must be peopled. When I faid, I would die a Claud. If he do not dote on her upon this, I batchelor, I did not think Ifhould live till I were will never truft my expectation. [Afide. marry'd.—Here comes Beatrice : By this day, she's Pedro. Let there be the fame net fpread for her, a fair lady: I do fpy fome marks of love in her. and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry. The fport will be, when they hold an opinion of one another's dotage, and no fuch matter; that's the fcene that I would fee, which will be merely a dumb show. Let us fend her to call him to dinner. [Afide.] [Exeunt. Enter Beatrice. Beat. Against my will, I am fent to bid you come in to dinner. Bene. Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains. Beat. I took no more pains for thofe thanks, than you take pains to thank me; if it had been painful, I would not have come. Benedick advances from the arbour. Bene. This can be no trick: The conference was Benc. You take pleasure then in the message? fally borne.-They have the truth of this from Beat. Yea, juft as much as you may take upon Hero. They feem to pity the lady; it seems, her a knife's point, and choak a daw withal :-You affections have the full bent. Love me! why, it have no stomach, fignior; fare you well. [Exit. must be requited. I hear how I am cenfur'd: they Bene. Ha! Against my will I am fent to bid you fay, I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the come in to dinner-there's a double meaning in that. love come from her; they fay too, that the will I took no more pains for thofe thanks, than you take rather die than give any fign of affection.-I did pains to thank_me-that's as much as to fay, Any never think to marry :-I must not seem proud : :- pains that I take for you is as eafy as thanks:→ happy are they that hear their detractions, and If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I can put them to mending. They fay, the lady is do not love her, I am a Jew: I will go get her picfair; 'tis a truth, I can bear them witnefs and ture. [Exit. Hero. SCENE Continues in the Orchard. GOOD Marg. I'll make her come, I warrant you, pres fently. [Exit. Hero. Now, Urfula, when Beatrice doth come, As we do trace this alley up and down, par-Our talk muft only be of Benedick: Enter Hero, Margaret, and Urfula. To liften our propofe 2: This is thy office, That is, ferioully held. When I do name him, let it be thy part My talk to thee muft be, how Benedick For look where Beatrice, like a lapwing, runa Urf. The pleasant'ft angling is to fee the fish 2 That is, our discourse. |