Into those common places look,
Which from great authors I have took,
And count the proofs I have collected,
To have my writings well protected.
These I lay by for time of need,
And thou mayst at thy leisure read.
For, standing every critic's rage,
I safely will to future age,
My system, as a gift, bequeath,
Victorious over spite and death.
RICHARD, who now was half asleep,
Rous'd; nor would longer silence keep
And sense like this, in vocal breath,
Broke from his twofold hedge of teeth.
Now, if this phrase too harsh be thought,
Pope, tell the world, 'tis not my fault.
Old Homer taught us thus to speak ;
If 'tis not sense, at least 'tis Greek.
As folks, quoth Richard, prone to leasing, Say things at first, because they're pleasing, Then prove what they have once asserted, Nor care to have their lie deserted,
Till their own dreams at length deceive 'em, And, oft repeating, they believe 'em ;
Or as, again, those amorous blades,
Who trifle with their mother's maids ;
Though at the first their wild desire
Was but to quench a present fire;
Yet if the object of their love
Chance by Lucina's aid to prove,
They seldom let the bantling roar
In basket at a neighbour's door;
But, by the flattering glass of nature
Viewing themselves in cake-bread's feature,
With serious thought and care support
What only was begun in sport :
Just so with you, my friend, it fares,
Who deal in philosophic wares.
Atoms you cut, and forms you measure,
To gratify your private pleasure ;
Till airy seeds of casual wit
Do some fantastic birth beget:
And, pleas'd to find your system mended
Beyond what you at first intended,
The happy whimsey you pursue,
Till you at length believe it true.
Caught by your own delusive art,
You fancy first, and then assert.
Quoth Matthew: friend, as far as I
Through art or nature cast my eye,
This axiom clearly I discern,
That one must teach, and t'other learn.
No fool Pythagoras was thought;
Whilst he his weighty doctrines taught
He made his listening scholars stand,
Their mouth still cover'd with their hand:
Else, may be, some odd-thinking youth,
Less friend to doctrine than to truth,
Might have refus'd to let his ears
Attend the music of the spheres ;
Denied all transmigrating scenes,
And introduced the use of beans.
From great Lucretius take his void,
And all the world is quite destroy'd.
Deny Des-cart his subtil matter,
You leave him neither fire nor water.
How oddly would Sir Isaac look,
If you, in answer to his book,
Say in the front of your discourse,
That things have no elastic force!
How could our chemic friends go on,
To find the philosophic stone,
If you more powerful reasons bring,
To prove that there is no such thing?
Your chiefs in sciences and arts
Have great contempt of Alma's parts.
They find she giddy is, or dull :
She doubts if things are void, or full :
And who should be presum'd to tell
What she herself should see, or feel?
She doubts if two and two make four,
Though she has told them ten times o'er.
It can't—it may be—and it must :
To which of these must Alma trust?
Nay further yet they make her go
In doubting, if she doubts, or no.
Can syllogism set things right?
No: majors soon with minors fight;
Or both in friendly consort join'd,
The consequence limps false behind.
So to some cunning man she goes,
And asks of him how much she knows.
With patience grave he hears her speak,
And from his short notes gives her back
What from her tale he comprehended:
Thus the dispute is wisely ended.
From the account the loser brings,
The conjurer knows who stole the things.
Squire (interrupted Dick), since when
Were you amongst these cunning men?
Dear Dick, quoth Mat, let not thy force
Of eloquence spoil my discourse.
I tell thee, this is Alma's case,
Still asking what some wise man says,
Who does his mind in words reveal,
Which all must grant, though few can spell.
You tell your doctor, that y' are ill;
And what does he, but write a bill,
Of which you need not read one letter:
The worse the scrawl, the dose the better.
For if you knew but what you take,
Though you recover, he must break.
Ideas, forms, and intellects,
Have furnish'd out three different sects.
Substance, or accident, divides
All Europe in adverse sides.
Now, as, engag'd in arms or laws,
You must have friends to back your cause;
In philosophic matters so
Your judgment must with others' go:
For as in senates, so in schools,
Majority of voices rules.
Poor Alma, like a lonely deer,
O'er hills and dales does doubtful err:
With panting haste, and quick surprise,
From every leaf that stirs, she flies;
Till mingled with the neighbouring herd,
She slights what erst she singly fear'd:
And now, exempt from doubt and dread,
She dares pursue, if they dare lead;
As their example still prevails,
She tempts the stream, or leaps the pales.
He then, quoth Dick, who by your rule
Thinks for himself, becomes a fool;
As party man, who leaves the rest,
Is call'd but whimsical1 at best.
Now, by your favour, master Mat,
Like Ralpho, here I smell a rat.
I must be listed in your sect ;
Who, though they teach not, can protect.
Right, Richard, Mat in triumph cried:
So put off all mistrust and pride.
1 Some of the Tories, in the queen's reign, were distinguished by that appellation.
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