תמונות בעמוד
PDF
ePub

however, I was told that he was still absent;

and found at the same time a billetúpon the table, which informed me that Sabinus had carried Sextus with him to his quarters, and that both expected I would join them there immediately upon my return. I knew not how to refuse compliance, and yet I could not bear the thought of being so far from the Capitol, in case of any message being sent to me from the prison. Since I could do no better, however, I charged Boto to remain in my apartment till sunset, and bring me, without delay, any letter or messenger that might arrive in my absence. Should none such appear within that space, I gave him a note, which I desired him to deliver into the hands of Silo; and having, as I thought, furnished him with sufficient directions how to discharge this commission, I myself took the path to the Prætorian Camp, where I was sure at least of kindness, if not of consolation.

You will wonder, indeed, when I tell you, what is, nevertheless, most true, that

I felt less need of consolation at that moment, than I had done at any one time during the several busy and unhappy days that had just passed over my head. In vain should I seek to explain to you from what strange mysterious workings of my mind it came to be so. Divine them if you can -think of me as you please-but there were moments in which, as I walked along towards the residence of Sabinus, I feltyes-in spite of all the darkness that surrounded the fate of my Athanasia-I felt as if some new light had streamed upon my path-as if some weight of intolerable lead had been lifted from my bosom—as if a heart dry and parched had been suddenly plunged in some current of life and refreshment—as if sorrow had faded into a phantom, and my lips had been taught some secret irresistible charm, by which the envious shade could for ever be chased into darkness.

No, I speak rashly; I paint it brighter than it was. There was still upon me the

sense of something cold, black, grasping; I could not forget for a moment that reality lay frowning around me; fear hung over me like an evil bird, with wide, strong, hovering wings; gulphs lay open before me -deep gulphs, from which my eye turned like a coward. Yet all was not darknessall was not heaviness. Despair was not. A beam-a healing beam had penetrated the thick gloom of the tempest—a rainbow hung glittering in calm brightness athwart the blackest places of the heavenone pure azure spot gleamed steadily between the darkness of the lowering clouds. I knew that Athanasia loved me-utter misery could no longer be mine-I had no right to be miserable. Death itself could not dry up the tears that had been shed upon my bosom. Oh, the pride and the inalienable happiness of youthful love! No affliction, no terror, has power to take away its buoyancy of blessedness; the memory of it is the inexhaustible treasure of

the soul; the vision of young tenderness hovers day and night before the dim eye of age; and Hope and Faith sit like two whiterobed angels by the restoring Tomb.

CHAPTER IV.

STRANGE as all this may appear to you, it was therefore with (comparatively speaking) something of a lightened heart that I passed along the Mounds of Tarquin, beyond which, as I have already told you, the Prætorian Camp is situated. When I drew near to the Camp itself, and came within sight of the guard-house where I had visited Thraso, and of the old fig-tree beneath which I had recognised Athanasia, it is true, the darker picture prevailed for a moment over all the light I had been able to see, or to fancy. Nevertheless, even these sad memorials could not effectually compete with the natural elements of hope that

« הקודםהמשך »