LAF. I must tell thee, firrah, I write man; to which title age cannot bring thee.

PAR. What I dare too well do, I dare not do.

LAF. I did think thee, for two ordinaries, to be a pretty wife fellow; thou didst make tolerable vent of thy travel; it might pafs: yet the scarfs, and the bannerets, about thee, did manifoldly dif fuade me from believing thee a veffel of too great a burden. I have now found thee; when I lofe thee again, I care not: yet art thou good for nothing but taking up; and that thou art scarce worth.

PAR. Hadft thou not the privilege of antiquity upon thee,

LAF. Do not plunge thyfelf too far in anger, left thou haften thy trial; which if-Lord have mercy on thee for a hen! So, my good window of lattice, fare thee well; thy cafement I need not open, for I look through thee. Give me thy hand. PAR. My lord, you give me most egregious indignity.

LAF. Ay, with all my heart; and thou art worthy of it.

PAR. I have not, my lord, deferv'd it.

LAF. Yes, good faith, every dram of it; and I will not bate thee a fcruple.

PAR. Well, I fhall be wifer.

LAF. E'en as foon as thou canft, for thou hast to pull at a fmack o'the contrary. If ever thou be'st bound in thy fcarf, and beaten, thou fhalt find what it is to be proud of thy bondage. I have a defire to hold my acquaintance with thee, or rather my

8 for two ordinaries-] While I fat twice with thee at table. JOHNSON.

9

-taking up ;] To take up is to contradi&, to call to account; as well as to pick off the ground. JOHNSON.

2

knowledge; that I may fay, in the default, he is a man I know.

PAR. My lord, you do me most insupportable

vexation.

LAF. I would it were hell-pains for thy fake, and my poor doing eternal: for doing I am past; as I will by thee, in what motion age will give me leave.3 [Exit.

4

PAR. Well, thou haft a fon shall take this disgrace off me; fcurvy, old, filthy, fcurvy lord!—Well, I must be patient; there is no fettering of authority. I'll beat him, by my life, if I can meet him with any convenience, an he were double and double a lord. I'll have no more pity of his age, than I would have of-I'll beat him, an if I could but meet him again.

2

in the default,] That is, at a need, JOHNSON,

3 - for doing I am paft; as I will by thee, in what motion age will give me leave.] The conceit, which is fo thin that it might well escape a hafty reader, is in the word paft—I am past, as I will be paft by thee. JOHNSON.

Lafeu means to fay, "for doing I am paft, as I will pass by thee in what motion age will permit." Lafeu fays, that he will pass by Parolles, not that he will be passed by him; and Lafeu is actually the person who goes out. M. MASON.

Dr. Johnson is, I believe, mistaken. Mr. Edwards has, I think, given the true meaning of Lafeu's words. "I cannot do much, says Lafeu; doing I am paft, as I will by thee in what motion age will give me leave; i. e. as I will pass by thee as faft as I am able:-and he immediately goes out. It is a play on the word past: the conceit indeed is poor, but Shakspeare plainly meant it." MALONE. Doing is here ufed obfcenely. So, in Ben Jonfon's translation of a paffage in an Epigram of Petronius:

Brevis eft, &c. et fæda voluptas.

"Doing a filthy pleasure is, and fhort." COLLINS.

4 Well, thou haft a fon fhall take this difgrace off me;] This the poet makes Parolles fpeak alone; and this is nature. A coward fhould try to hide his poltroonery even from himself. An ordinary writer would have been glad of fuch an opportunity to bring him to confeffion. WARBURTON.

Re-enter LAFEU.

LAF. Sirrah, your lord and master's married, there's news for you; you have a new mistress.

PAR. I most unfeignedly befeech your lordship to make some reservation of your wrongs: He is my good lord: whom I serve above, is my master. LAF. Who? God?

PAR. Ay, fir.

LAF. The devil it is, that's thy mafter. Why doft thou garter up thy arms o' this fashion? doft make hofe of thy fleeves? do other fervants fo? Thou wert best set thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine honour, if I were but two hours younger, I'd beat thee: methinks, thou art a general offence, and every man fhould beat thee. I think, thou waft created for men to breathe themselves upon thee.

PAR. This is hard and undeferved measure, my lord.

LAF. Go to, fir; you were beaten in Italy for picking a kernel out of a pomegranate; you are a vagabond, and no true traveller: you are more faucy with lords, and honourable perfonages, than the heraldry of your birth and virtue gives you commiffion. You are not worth another word, elfe I'd call you knave. I leave you. [Exit.

Enter BERTRAM.

PAR. Good, very good; it is fo then.-Good, very good; let it be conceal'd a while.

5than the heraldry of your birth, &c.] In former copies:than the commiffion of your birth and virtue gives you heraldry. Sir Thomas Hanmer reftored it. JOHNSON.

BER. Undone, and forfeited to cares for ever! PAR. What is the matter, fweet heart?

BER. Although before the folemn priest I have fworn,

I will not bed her.

PAR. What? what, fweet heart?

BER. O my Parolles, they have married me:I'll to the Tuscan wars, and never bed her.

PAR. France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits The tread of a man's foot: to the wars!

BER. There's letters from my mother; what the import is,

I know not yet.

PAR. Ay, that would be known: To the wars, my boy, to the wars!

He wears his honour in a box unfeen,

That hugs his kickfy-wickfy here at home;"
Spending his manly marrow in her arms,
Which fhould fuftain the bound and high curvet
Of Mars's fiery fteed: To other regions!
France is a stable; we that dwell in't, jades;
Therefore, to the war!

BER. It shall be fo; I'll fend her to my house,
Acquaint my mother with my hate to her,
And wherefore I am fled; write to the king
That which I durft not speak: His prefent gift
Shall furnish me to thofe Italian fields,
Where noble fellows ftrike: War is no ftrife
To the dark houfe, and the detefted wife."

6 That hugs his kickfy-wickfy, &c.] Sir T. Hanmer, in his Gloffary, obferves that kickfy-wickly is a made word in ridicule and difdain of a wife. Taylor, the water-poet, has a poem in difdain of his debtors, entitled, A kickfy-winfy, or a Lerry come-twang.

GREY.

7 To the dark houfe, &c.] The dark houfe is a house made gloomy

PAR. Will this capricio hold in thee, art fure? BER. Go with me to my chamber, and advise me. I'll send her straight away: To-morrow & I'll to the wars, the to her fingle forrow.

8

PAR. Why, these balls bound; there's noife in it.-'Tis hard;

A young man, married, is a man that's marr'd:
Therefore away, and leave her bravely; go:
The king has done you wrong; but, hufh! 'tis fo.
[Exeunt.

by discontent. Milton fays of death and the king of hell preparing to combat:

"So frown'd the mighty combatants, that hell
"Grew darker at their frown." JOHNSON.

Perhaps this is the fame thought we meet with in K. Henry IV. only more folemnly expreffed:

66

he's as tedious

"As is a tired horse, a railing wife,

"Worfe than a fmoaky houfe.'

The proverb originated before chimneys were in general ufe, which was not till the middle of Elizabeth's reign. See Piers Plowman, paffus 17:

"Thre thinges there be that doe a man by ftrength
"For to flye his owne house, as holy wryte fheweth:
"That one is a wycked wife, that wyll not be chaftyfed;
"Her fere flyeth from her, for feare of her tonge:-
"And when Smolke and smoulder fmight in his fyghte,
"It doth him worse than his wyfe, or wete to flepe;
"For fmolke or fmoulder, fmiteth in his eyen

" 'Til he be blear'd or blind," &c.

The old copy reads-detected wife. Mr. Rowe made the cor rection. STEEVENS.

The emendation is fully fupported by a fubfequent paffage: ""Tis a hard bondage to become the wife

"Of a detefting lord." MALONE.

8 I'll fend her ftraight away: To-morrow-] As this line wants a foot, I fuppofe our author wrote-" Betimes to-morrow." So, in Macbeth:

I will to-morrow,

"Betimes I will," &c. STEEVENS.