תמונות בעמוד
PDF
ePub

affections, and crucifics us to this world. And this is fulfilling his ancient promife: "And the Lord thy God will circumcife thy heart, that thou mayeft love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy foul, that thou mayest live." Thus we are taught of God, and then led to his dear Son, and transplanted into him, in whom we find righteousness and ftrength, which conftitutes us trees of righteousness, the right-hand planting of God, that he may be glorified. This, my fifter, is the good work of God upon the foul. To a lively lively hope he begets us; and, from the piercing fting of death, from under the miniftration of death, and from bondage to the fear of death, he brings his own children; for fo it is written, "He that is our God is the God of falvation; and unto God the Lord belong the iffues from death." Pfalm lxviii. 20. From death in the law to life in Chrift do they pafs by faith; and upon Chrift, as upon a nail faftened in a fure place, do all the offspring and iffue hang their hopes, their expectations, their hearts, with all their burdens, for time and eternity. Read Ifaiah xxii. 24. The next thing is, "As one whom his mother comforteth, fo will I comfort you." And now what remains? That every branch in Chrift his heavenly Father purges, that it may bring forth more fruit. And under this purging operation thou waft when my former letter found thee. And thus have I purfued thee, and I have overtaken

thee.

thee. And now, feeing this is God's work and way, humbly fubmit thyfelf under his hand, and attend to these things a little more, and vifit lefs; and thou shalt reap the benefit of it. Compare thy ftate with this account, and comfort thyfelf with these things; for my God will never leave thee, nor forfake thee. My kind love to your spouse. God preferve and bless you both. Amen and amen, fays

Thy ready fervitor,

The Defert.

NOCTUA AURITA.

LETTER XXIV.

To NOCTUA AURITA, in the Defert.

I CAN no longer be filent in acknowledging your last kind favour, and telling you that it came not to me empty. O the goodnefs of my God to me, fuch a wretched, unworthy creature! Well might the apoftle fay, "What manner of love is this that is bestowed upon us, that we fhould be called the children of God!"

[blocks in formation]

But I muft begin and tell you where your letter found me; though I confefs it will make my letter appear more like a journal than a letter. I was contending with the Almighty to his face, and telling him, it was in vain to wait on him, or look to him for that which I was fecking for; and that he knew he had killed me to all but himself, on purpose to aggravate my mifery. I likewise called his prophets liars, and faid they had prophefied only what they wished might come to pafs; but he knew he never put fuch things in their mouths. Many times did I read your letters, and God wrought by his Spirit with them, fo that I felt my hard heart melt, in fome degree, under the power and light that attended the contents to my foul, and contrition and godly forrow began to operate, and I had a view of the goodness of the Lord to me in keeping me from getting from under his hand, and going where thofe fled you mentioned. This made my very foul to melt within me. This was the language of my heart, "O Lord, keep me under thy chaftening hand as long as thou iceft beft for me; choofe my path for me; help me to put my mouth in the duft, and to bear thy indignation, because I have finned against thee. Only let me never find any foul fatisfaction in any thing but in the enjoyment of his bleffed prefence." Thus I was Friday and Saturday. On fabbath morning I found my mind cloudy and dark. I faw where his excellency was;

for,

for, very far from the spot I ftood upon, I could not bear the rays of his countenance; for furely the face of Mofes never fhone brighter than his did at that time; and never fure was a foul more burnt in the flames of jealousy than I was. I am fure my feelings could never be equalled but by Satan himself. I had been bafking in the rays of God's prefence, and now caft down to the lowest hell without a gleam of hope. And, befides this, what further added to my jealoufy, I faw the dew fweetly diftil on two perfons who fat near me. I knew they had found him whom my foul loveth. But on Monday morning he did come indeed, and gave me fuch a view of his love and faithfulness to his word, oath, and covenant, as my pen nor tongue can never defcribe. Your prediction was indeed fulfilled; for he came down on my foul as the dew on the mown grafs, and as the rain that waters the earth. And fuch a time in prayer did my foul never experience before. He admitted me into his very heart, and his language to me seemed the fame as the king's to Esther, "What is thy petition, and what is thy request? and it shall be granted thee, not only to the half, but the whole of my kingdom." But I found I wanted another enlargement, that I might afk enough; for I faw there was no ftraitness in God. And the Lord knows what I did ask at this time, for I know not. But, whatever it was, I fhall know hereafter; for nothing can be impoffiole

to this faith. However, in a few hours I found my mind clouded again, and Satan was permitted to affault and fuggeft to my mind that it was not real, and that I was catching at fomething I could not hold faft. But thefe words fettled and decided the matter," It is the voice of my Beloved: behold, he cometh leaping on the mountains, and fkipping on the hills." And a fweet peace I found in my foul. However, before the day was paft, I felt my mind again beclouded, and my foul disturbed, and Satan fuggefting that it was not real; but the above words were attended again, the fecond time, with power, and kept vibrating through my very foul for, I believe, two hours; and the matter was made clear to me that I was not deceived. On Tuesday morning the Lord met me again in prayer; and, I blefs his name, he renewed the fame over again, as he did the morning before; and fweetly did he commune with my foul; and he has brought me to fit at his feet, clothed, and in my right mind, and has told me, that " he has made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and fure;" and that he will lead me into the myfteries of it, for the half has not been told me; and never before did I feel fuch contrition and godly forrow. It has killed me outright, and, as you say in one of your letters, bleeds my very foul to death. O how much do I need your prayers, that I may be kept near him, that I may not be carried

away!

« הקודםהמשך »