« הקודםהמשך »
toe, still more frequently loses her balance. We know that she is subject to such overturnings, but keep constantly trying to assure ourselves that she is more reliable now than formerly, and so we let her lead us on by the fingertips over slippery tracks or dizzy heights, always with some new rose color in the distance, fairer than the last she showed us, but fading just as quickly on our approach.
Men say that experience is our best teacher ; surely she is a Ainty-hearted dame, when she trusts us to the will-o' wisp guidance of idle expectation. The young author sends forth his bantling verses upon the world. He knows they are poor, little, featherless creatures, yet hopes, somehow, their wings will grow and carry his fame over the lands. But they sicken in the unwholesome atmosphere of the conntry newspaper, and seem to fade into nothingness before his eyes. Their fate is more pitiable than he expected, though he knew it would be so all the while. The disappointment is deeper than he thought, and he feels as if the world had done him an injury.
The maiden is ready to sacrifice all things for love. No life is too mean, no surroundings too poor, in company with the beloved ; and she assures him that, if necessary, it will be better to count the sixpences together than to live longer apart. But she never expects to count the sixpences; she thinks, by careful handling of the shillings, to avoid that, and the gripe of poverty is as real as if it had never been colored by her rainbow dream.
The young housekeeper has her little store of household maxims, her theory on the management of servants, her notions of domestic economy, and is impatient to try them; but, too often, the disappointment is disastrous to health and comfort, when it is found that by some sad perverseness, realities will not conform themselves to theories.
A man fancies that he possesses extraordinary executive capacity; he thinks he can combine materials and men, and make them serve his purposes of selfishness or of philanthropy; but, to use a homely phrase, the bottom falls out of his calculations, and he is forced to be content with the lesser work that he can accomplish single-handed. Slowly and painfully he learns that to be well served one must himself learn to serve others, for there is great meaning to the soubriquet which the French gave to one of their kings, the “ Wellserved!”
We think sometimes we hear ringing in the air the merry laugh of Puck, with his tantalizing words, “ Lor, what fools these mortals be!" Some one will begin to ask us pretty soon what we mean, and whose follies we have in mind. Did we not say, curious ones, in the beginning, that this was a curtain lecture for ourselves. Our knuckles are smarting sufficiently for the present; if we have hit anybody else's, perhaps they will find comfort, as we do, in anointing the sores with a little of the all-healing ointment of selfconceit.
G. F. T.
NO SECT IN HEAVEN.
VALKING of sects till late one eve,
Of the various doctrines the saints believe,
And a “ Churchman” down to the river came :
But the aged father did not mind,
“ I'm bound for heaven, and when I'm there,
Then he fixed his eye on the shining track,
I saw him again on the other side,
Then down to the river a Quaker strayed,
My coat and hat must be all of gray,
Then he buttoned his coat straight up to his chin,
But a strong wind carried away his hat;
As he entered heaven, his suit of gray
Next came Dr. Watts with a bundle of Psalms
But I thought that he heaved an anxious sigh,
And after him, with his MSS.,
And there on the river, far and wide,
Then gravely walking, two saints by name,
“ Sprinkled or plunged, may I ask you, friend,
“ And I really think it will hardly do,
way, and I'll go this.”
Then straightway plunging with all his might,
And now, when the river was rolling on,
And concerning the road, they could never agree,
And a sound of murmuring long and loud
But the brethren only seemed to speak,
I watched them long in my curious dream,
NICK-NACKS FOR THE SENATE.
[The following reflections are the result of a perusal of the senate's yearly bill of stationery
and small wares.]
same number of woman selected as indiscriminately as are these fiftytwo gentlemen, would hardly run up so large a bill of nick-nacks at the nation's expense as these gentlemen have. The immense number of pocketknives reminds us of the criticism of an English traveller who said that the toilet of the Americans was never finished in their chambers, for they might be seen cleaning their finger-nails on the piazza of the hotel, etc. ticular these gentlemen must be in that respect. Then the four hundred and five pen knives; do all the gentlemen write with quills, and write so incessantly that they use up eight pen knives apiece in oue year; this cannot be or there would be a charge for quills.
It is fashionable in certain classes of society, to express contempt and malignity by pulling out the hair of the enemy. Probably congressmen have substituted shears for fingers in this operation ; the seven hundred and three pairs of shears would suggest something of the kind, for surely one thousand one hundred and thirty-seven pairs of scissors should be sufficient for the of. fice use of the same fifty-two members.
The number of sponges is not stated but they cost almost four hundred dollars ; enough one would think to wipe out all the private quarrels of the senators, with some clean ones left to go towards expunging the national debt.
We know so little of public life that we could not surmise the use of the two hundred pairs of kid-gloves, unless it were to give an air of refinement and gentility to some backwoods members ; but a friend reminds us that they must have been black kids to wear at funerals of public men. How much would it cost to furnish them with gloves to attend each other's funerals, one at a time till they had chawed each other up Kilkenny fashion, and would not this be a cheap mode of ridding the nation of this expensive nuisance.
The number of diaries is small, only two each, from which we would infer that the gentlemen are not very methodical in their manner of conducting business, or have very little business except public affairs which are every body's business, and expected to manage themselves.
Perhaps five or six portfolios each is a moderate allowance for men who must keep up a constant correspondence with constituents and deliver them. selves of several four-hour speeches during one session.
It would be a fair inference that the emoluments of the post are not insignificant when each gentleman requires eight pocket-books per annum. Perhaps however greenbacks have a sort of explosive force while they linger so near the treasury department, and rend their bonds in endeavors to get back to their native element.
Brushes ; are they for boots, hats, coats or heads. If the gentlemen have any hair left after the possible shearing we have hinted at, one would suppose that the thought of four hundred and nine brushes would frighten it out of existence.
But the pin-cushions, five hundred and fifty-six pin-cushions; we think fifty-two old maids would scarcely consume more than ten pin-cushions each in one year. Perhaps the gentlemen are all bachelors or are temporarily divorced from their families and are forced to the somewhat feminine resource of pins to supply the place of missing buttons. Would it not be charitable and economical to furnish a matron whose sole duty should be to sew on buttons for these unfortunates, saving both pins and pin-cushions.
There! we thought they could not use quills ; that would be impossible when we are charged for one thousand and eighty-five boxes of pens, and two thousand two hundred and three lead-pencils. By the way those pencils cost $724; what were they made of?
Lastly, it requires one million eight hundred and seven thousand four hundred and fifty-one envelopes to scatter abroad the speeches and the wisdom of this company