this table who, when he takes the bread into his mouth, does not receive Christ into his heart.

What say ye now, christians; is not his flesh meat indeed, and his blood drink indeed? Can the world, with all its boasting, furnish such a feast as this? Let it appear that you have been feeding on Christ, by your indifference to every thing else; and let gratitude to Christ, for so rich an entertainment, engage you to exert yourselves in his cause. He thinks not his own flesh too good for you; do not you reckon your lives too dear for him. And if it be so pleasant to feed on those memorials of his broken body here, what will heaven be, where the Lamb, which is in the midst of the throne, shall feed us, and lead us to living fountains of water? Let us look above ordinances and emblems, and take a glimpse of glory. Let us anticipate the blissful period, when we shall come to the general assembly and church of the first-born, and to an innumerable company of angels, and to God the Judge of all, and to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling. And when we shall join with all the glorified host in singing the song of Moses and of the Lamb, saying, "Unto him that loved us, and washed us in his own blood, and hath made us to our God kings and priests, to Him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen."

MEDITATION XIV.

[April 7, 1799.]

JOB XXIII. 3.

OH THAT I KNEW WHERE I MIGHT FIND HIM!

THAT this should be the language of those that begin to live to Christ, is not at all to be wondered at. You have been for some time as uneasy as you could live. You knew that your souls were not safe. You were convinced that the way you were in would end in destruction. You had often heard Christ knocking at your door, and, as it were, entreating to be let in; but something or other was always in the way, that it was not convenient just then; and you said to Christ, though with some reluctance, "Go thy way for this time, and when I have a more convenient season I will send for thee." With this ungrateful repulse, Christ withdrew; but, instead of that ease and quiet in your conscience which you expected, you have been more uneasy and distressed than ever. Now you are afraid that Christ resents your dismission of him, and will never return and knock again;

and that made you just now cry out with so much earnestness, "O! that I knew where I might find. him!" I was rejoiced to hear you say so, and I hope you will never give over seeking till you do really find Him whom your souls love. And for your comfort, I can tell you that if you are now roused from your sinful slumbers, and your desires after Christ are sincere and fervent, there is reason to hope that Christ is not far off. You know how it was with the spouse when she was thoroughly awake, and got up and went about the streets inquiring for her beloved, and had suffered much from the watchmen, she said, "It was but a little that I parted from them when I found him whom my soul loveth." I hope soon to hear you say the same. You are right to put yourselves in the way through which Jesus usually passes; and who can tell but he may spy you out in the sycamore tree, and kindly say, "Make haste and come down, for to-day I must abide at thy house?" Forgive me this wrong.

I said just now, that it was not strange to hear young beginners lamenting after Christ; and crying out, with eagerness and anguish, "O! that I knew where I might find him!" But who should expect to hear such a complaint from any one of you, christians? You who have been so long followers and friends, and shall I say intimates of Christ, who have been so often welcome guests at this table?

When he brought you into his ban

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queting house, his banner over you was love; when you sat under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet unto your taste, and you could say, with a well-grounded hope and rapturous joy, "My beloved is mine, and I am his." And now for you to say, "O! that I knew where I might find him!" Ah! christians, may I ask, "How came you to lose him?" We know the Lord is with us while we are with him. Did then the strangeness begin with you? "Yes, indeed it did;" you say. "We did not value and improve his presence as we should; and were grown careless and venturesome. He did not withdraw without great provocation. We can blame no one but ourselves. We have smarted severely for our folly, and we are come hither with a full intention, if we can meet him, to humble ourselves before him, to confess our fault, and implore mercy to pardon, and grace to help in time of need." If this is the case with any of you, be thankful that you have such a merciful and faithful High Priest; who can be touched with the feeling of your infirmities; who hath made reconciliation for iniquity; and ever liveth to make intercession for transgressors: and I hope, before we depart, he will show himself to you again, and kindly say, "Thy sins are forgiven thee, go in peace."

But there may be others that are not able to assign any particular cause for Christ's withdrawing.

You are not conscious of having wilfully failed in any accustomed duty, and yet you walk in darkness and see no light. You go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but you cannot perceive him; and, sabbath after sabbath, sacrament after sacrament, have sought him sorrowing. And you are afraid you shall be disappointed again today. Well; and if you should, you are to remember that Christ has left himself at liberty to manifest himself, when and to whom he pleases. Sometimes he passes by old and experienced believers, and looks in upon young and weak beginners. Sometimes he discovers himself in one ordinance, and sometimes in another; and sometimes he passes by all ordinances, and meets his people in a providence. Sometimes he appears suddenly, and our souls, or ever we are aware, are made like the chariots of Amminadib; and sometimes we are kept long waiting, in the midst of many painful discouragements, before we can get a glance of his person, or a comfortable word from his mouth. Doubtless Christ has wise and gracious purposes to answer, by this seemingly unkind withdrawment; upon this occasion, it may not be unseasonable if we attempt to guess at some of them.

Why, then, it may be partly to teach believers to look above second causes, to Christ himself for comfort. If sensible manifestations were confined