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Mrs. GREEN. Miss Hardcastle
Mrs. BULKLET. Miss Nevill
Mrs. KNIVETON. Maid
SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER:
MISTAKES OF A NIGHT.
ACT THE FIRST.
SCENE, a Chamber in an old-fashioned House.
Enter Mrs. HARDCASTLE and Mr. HARDCASTLE.
Mrs. Hardcastle. I
VOW, Mr. Hardcastle, you're very particular. Is there a creature in the whole country but ourselves, that does not take a trip to town now and then, to rub off the rust a little? There's the two Miss Hoggs, and our neighbor Mrs. Grigsby go to take a month's polishing every winter.
Hardcastle. Aye, and bring back vanity and affectation to last them the whole year. I wonder why London cannot keep its own fools at home! In my time, the follies of the town crept slowly among us, but now they travel faster than a stage-coach. Its fopperies come down not only as inside passengers, but in the very basket.
Mrs. Hardcastle. Aye, your times were fine times indeed ; you have been telling us of them for many a long year. Here we live in an old rumbling mansion, that looks for all the world like an inn, but that we never see company.Our best visitors are old Mrs. Oddfish, the curate's wife, and little. Cripplegate, the lame dancing-master; and all our entertainment your old stories of Prince Eugene and the Duke of Marlborough. I hate such old-fashioned trumpery.
Hardcastle. And I love it. I love every thing that's old : old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine ; and, I believe, Dorothy, (taking her hand) you'll own I have been pretty fond of an old wife.
Mrs. Hardcastle. Lord; Mr. Hardcastle, you're for ever at your Dorothy's and your old wife's. You may be a Darby, bus I'll be no Joan, I promise you. I'm not so old as you'd make me, by more than one good year. Add twenty to twenty, and make money of that.
Hardcastle. Let me see; twenty added to twenty makes just fifty and seven.
Mrs. Hardcastle. It's false, Mr. Hardcastle: I was but twenty when I was brought to bed of Toney, that I had by Mr. Lump
first husband; and he's not come to years of discretion yet.
Hardcastle. Nor ever will, I dare answer for him. Aye, you have taught him finely.
Mrs. Hardcastle. No matter. Tony Lumpkin has a good fortune. My son is not to live by his learning. I don't think a boy wants much learning to spend fifteen hundred a year.