CHAP. VII.

FROM HER SETTLEMENT AT PENTON PLACE,

TO HER REMOVAL TO QUEEN'S ROW.

A.D. 1812 TO 1817.

KIND WELCOME OF MRS. COLLYER-MRS. HAWKES'S REFLECTIONS AFTER SEVERE ILLNESS-HER ENDEAVOURS TO BECOME USEFUL-LETTERS TO MRS. C.....TT ON THE NEW YEAR-ATTACKED BY FEVER-VALUES PROLONGED LIFE, AND WHY HER GENERAL CORRESPONDENCE AND CHRISTIAN INTERCOURSE-SHE REFERS TO THE CHANGE IN POLITICAL

AFFAIRS, EASTER SUNDAY, 1814-HER SENTIMENTS ON IN-DWELLING SIN, EXPRESSED IN SEVERAL LETTERS-FEARS OF BEING AGAIN OBLIGED TO REMOVE-SUFFERS FROM CONTINUAL INFLAMMATION IN HER EYESLETTER ON GIVING LOOSE TO A ROVING IMAGINATION-ON FAITH AND DEPENDENCE-CONVERSION OF MR. VAUGHAN-LETTER TO A FRIEND AT HONDURAS-REFLECTIONS ON OPENING THE YEAR 1817-SUFFERINGS FROM NERVOUS AND BILIOUS FEVER-SHE GOES TO CLAPHAM-LETTERS TO VARIOUS FRIENDS.

ON arriving in London, MRS. HAWKES was welcomed to the house of her affectionate niece, Mrs. Collyer; where she remained till comfortable apartments, in a more airy situation, could be provided for her. Besides her usual sufferings from her complaint, she was, at this time, nearly deprived of sight, from constant inflammation in her eyes; and was also confined to a couch with a painful and serious wound, which had arisen, in the first instance, from merely breaking the skin of her leg, in a fall. The great debility into which she had fallen, rendered all these evils difficult to bear; and her state became critical. After some weeks, however, it pleased God to bless the means used for her relief, and she was able to remove to Penton Place. Soon after her entering

upon this new residence, she wrote the following memorial of her feelings :

"Penton Place, 1812.-Restored apparently from the very grasp of Death, I seem to be put once more into a peaceful haven. But pain, sickness, and extreme feebleness are my allotted companions. However unlovely, and irksome, such companions must be, yet, so far as they shall prove salutary to my soul, I welcome them. I need correction; I need purification; and the rod of affliction has not yet done its appointed work. I pray that I may not shrink from it. Why should I? seeing it is in my Saviour's hand, who does not chastise, as earthly parents too often do, passionately, excessively, and unwisely. He corrects tenderly: In measure, when it shooteth forth, He debateth with it.' I rejoice that the chastening rod is in His hand, and not in the hand of man. I pray Him to support me under it: I trust I do really and cheerfully submit myself to it. He once gave his back to the smiters, for our sins: how much more should I submit to be smitten by Him, for my own sins! Why should I, who deserve to be destroyed, complain when only chastised? I will hope, and pray, and believe, that when the rod has done its work, it will be laid aside. "

MRS. HAWKES still continued her endeavours to be useful, under all impediments. Though writing became extremely difficult, from the weak state of her eyes, yet she was ever making efforts to meet the wishes of her correspondents; especially in the case of young persons, who desired to receive from her either instruction or advice. She thus addresses a young friend, who was for a time removed from opportunities of hearing the Gospel :

"Much have I wished to write to you, My Dearest, under your new dispensation, particularly

on account of your present privations on the Sunday; because I can feel for you, and well understand you. But whatever may be lacking to you in the Public Ordinances, I trust you are able to gain much by private exercises. I do not mean that you should shut yourself up always in your chamber; for we may spend many hours so shut up, to very little purpose. A short space, spent in laying open the heart before God, and in stretching forth the empty vessel to receive out of His fulness-to abase ourselves at His sacred footstool, and to cast ourselves on Christ, by simple and true faith-will do more for us than the longest and strongest efforts of our own. I trust you find an increasing humility of mind, and an increasing victory over every opposing evil principle, together with increasing simplicity of aim and dependence. But remember, that the graces of the Spirit, so very beautifully enumerated by St. Paul, will only grow in a soil where there has been much ploughing and harrowing, and weeding out the roots of bitterness, which are the natural and spontaneous productions of the soil: and the plough, the harrow, and the hoe, are instruments we do not love; and they bring out many an ugly reptile, which lay beneath the surface, quite undiscovered before.

"I am grieved to hear so poor an account of your health but spiritual strength is more important than either bodily or mental. Bend all your most serious energies to get firmly built on that Rock from which no sickness, or loss, or even temptations, shall remove you. It is of great importance to get a firm footing, before storms and dangers assail you; for they will come to you, as well as to others: indeed, young as you are, you have not been without them. But they do not accomplish their design, until they destroy the deep, and hidden, and entwining root of self. Now, mark well, if you find, in your daily experience, that this root is weakening and with

ing! It is a gradual work, which will never be perfected till death. But, still, we should be able to perceive that the crucifixion of self is going on; and that the opposite most desirable grace, that of humble dependence and universal submission to Christ, is increasing. You may observe, by marks in themselves very small, how far self is giving way; and in proportion as it does give way, your real peace and comfort will increase. This I know ;-though, alas! after all the discipline I have had, I still know comparatively very little of true self-renunciation. I trust, when you have fought as many battles as I have, you will be a far more victorious soldier.

"I have written this under much pain and languor, besides considerable flammation in my eyes. I seem to lose strength, rather than gain it. However, though my body and intellects decay fast, I have great cause to be thankful that there is a principle, capable of being invigorated when every thing else moulders away. But He, that numbers our days, knows the best time of release, both for you and for me. Our business is, to be ready to embark, whenever the signal is given; and to be often taking an animating view of the delightful country where we hope to land."

In the following Letter to Mrs. C―tt, MRS. HAWKES thus expresses her sentiments and feelings on entering the year 1813:-

"In entering on the new year, my mind has been much occupied in reviewing my past wearisome journey through life, and especially for the last thirty years; and in noticing the difficulties, sorrows, and temptations, which, since the commencement of my spiritual pilgrimage, have beset my path, and been the occasion, in combination with sin in my own heart, of innumerable deviations and mistakes, which I mourn to look back upon. During

these revolvings, my mind is much penetrated with the amazing subtilty and ceaseless vigilance of Satan, in so exactly varying his temptations to the different stages, circumstances, and situations of life. He knows how, in the vigour and zeal of early years, to elate the mind, and fill it with vanity and self-conceit: and, after some successful progress in the spiritual journey, he knows how to offer specious reasons why there may be an abatement of toil, and labour, and effort; suggesting, that we may now rest awhile. When we begin to descend the hill, and feel the benumbing effects of increasing age, or are heavy laden with bodily infirmities or outward and inward troubles, then (if I may speak from my own experience) we are beset on every side; and nothing but victorious faith can keep our heads from sinking beneath the deep waters. I find it often difficult to distinguish between what is really temptation and sin, and what is merely the effect of infirmity, the disabilities of a diseased body, and the weight of oppressing trials. But we need not be nice to distinguish; for whatever it be that troubles us, or is an impediment in our way, whether bodily or mental, our highest wisdom is not to stand and dispute with it, but to go immediately to Jesus, and, with simplicity, hope, and dependence, to say, 'Lord, I am oppressed, undertake for me!-thou hast bidden me to bring my burdens to Thee; and here I bring them: O, take them, and give me rest, according to Thy word!'-There is much danger in poring too intensely over either ourselves or our troubles. Under any bodily disease, if we were more anxious to examine it, watch its progress, and mark its different and varying symptoms, than to go to the physician, and diligently follow his directions, and rest on his judgment of the case, our recovery would be greatly retarded. Thus it is in spiritual things : we should indeed be humbled and ashamed for our