NELL AND JOHN.

HEN Nell, given o'er by the doctor, was dying,

W

And John at the chimney stood decently crying;

'Tis in vain, said the woman, to make such ado, For to our long home we must all of us go!

True, Nell, replied John; but, what yet is the worst For us that remain, the best always go first: Remember, dear wife, that I said so last year, When you lost your white heifer, and I my brown mare!

BIBO AND CHARON.

ZHEN Bibo thought fit from the world to retreat,

As full of champagne as an egg's full
of meat,

He wak'd in the boat; and to Charon he said,
He would be row'd back, for he was not yet dead.
Trim the boat, and sit quiet, stern Charon replied:
You may have forgot, you were drunk when you died.

GABRIEL AND HIS WIVES.

DEATH! how thou spoil'st the best projects of life!

Said Gabriel, who still, as he buried one wife,

For the sake of her family, married her cousin ; And thus, in an honest collateral line,

He still married on till his number was nine,
Full sorry to die till he made up his dozen.

FATAL LOVE.

OOR Hal caught his death standing under a spout,

Expecting till midnight, when Nan would come out,

But fatal his patience, as cruel the dame,

And curs'd was the weather that quench'd the man's flame.

Whoe'er thou art, that read'st these moral lines, Make love at home, and go to bed betimes.

A SAILOR'S WIFE.

UOTH Richard in jest, looking wistly at Nelly,

Methinks, child, you seem something round in the belly!

Nell answer'd him snappishly, How can that be, When my husband has been more than two years

at sea?

Thy husband! quoth Dick: why, that matter was carried

Most secretly, Nell; I ne'er thought thou wert married.

ON A FART,

LET IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.

EADER, I was born and cried;
I crack'd, I smelt, and so I died.
Like Julius Cæsar's was my death,
Who in the Senate lost his breath.
Much alike entomb'd does lie

The noble Romulus and I:

And when I died, like Flora fair,
I left the commonwealth my heir.

THE MODERN SAINT.

ER time with equal prudence Silvia shares,

First writes a billet-doux, then says
her prayers;

Her mass and toilet; vespers and the play;
Thus God and Ashtaroth divide the day.
Constant she keeps her Ember-week and Lent,
At Easter calls all Israel to her tent;

Loose without bawd, and pious without zeal,
She still repeats the sins she would conceal.
Envy herself from Silvia's life must grant,
An artful woman makes a modern saint.

THE PARALLEL.

ROMETHEUS, forming Mr. Day,
Carv'd something like a man in clay.
The mortal's work might well miscarry;
He, that does heaven and earth
control,

Alone has power to form a soul,

His hand is evident in Harry.

Since one is but a moving clod,

T'other the lively form of God;
Squire Wallis, you will scarce be able
To prove all poetry but fable.

TO A YOUNG LADY,

WHO WAS FOND OF FORTUNE-TELLING.

OU, madam, may with safety go,
Decrees of destiny to know;

For at your birth kind planets reign'd,
And certain happiness ordain'd:

Such charms as yours are only given
To chosen favourites of heaven.

But, such is my uncertain state,
'Tis dangerous to try my fate;
For I would only know from art
The future motions of your heart,
And what predestinated doom
Attends my love for

years to come;
No secrets else, that mortals learn,
My care deserve, or life concern :
But this will so important be,
I dread to search the dark decree;
For, while the smallest hope remains,
Faint joys are mingled with my pains;
Vain distant views my fancy please,
And give some intermitting ease:
But should the stars too plainly show
That you have doom'd my endless woe,
No human force, nor art, could bear
The torment of my wild despair.

This secret then I dare not know,
And other truths are useless now.

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