All last night I continued with you, tho' your unreasonable regularity drove me out of your doors at three a clock. I dreamed all over the evening's conversation, and faw the little bed in fpite of you. In the morning I waked, very angry at your phantom for leaving me fo abruptly.—I know you delight in my mortification. I dined with an old Beauty; fhe appear'd at the table like a Death's head enamell'd. The Egyptians, you know, had fuch things at their entertainments; but do you think they painted and patched them? However, the laft of these objections was foon removed; for the lady had fo violent an appetite for a falmon, that she quickly, eat all the patches off her face. She divided the fish into three parts; not equal, God knows; for fhe helped Gay to the head, me to the middle, and making the reft much the largest part took it herself, and cried very naively, I'll be content with my own tail.

My fupper was as fingular as my dinner. It was with a great Poet and Ode-maker (that is, a great poet out of his wits, or out of his way.) He came to me very hungry; not for want of a dinner (for that I fhould make no jeft of) but, having forgot to dine. He fell moft furiously on the broil'd relics of a fhoulder of mutton, commonly call'd a bladebone: he profeffed he never tafted fo exquifite a thing! begged me to tell him what joint it was; wondered he had never heard the name of this joint, or feen it at other tables; and defir'd to know how he might direct his butcher to cut out the fame for the future? And yet this man, fo ignorant in mo dern butchery, has cut up half an hundred heroes, and quartered five or fix miferable lovers in every tragedy he has written. I have nothing more to tell you to day.

YOU

LETTER V.

The Anfwer.

YOU fhould have my Day too, Sir, but indeed I flept it out, and fo I'll give you all that was left, my laft Night's entertainment. You know the company. I went in late, in order to be better received; but unluckily came in, as Deuce-ace was flinging (Lord H. would fay I came in the Nick.) The Lady colour'd, and the men took the name of the Lord in vain: No body spoke to me, and I fat down disappointed; then affecting a careless air, gap'd, and cried feven or eight times, D'ye win or lofe? I could fafely fay at that moment I had no temptation to any one of the feven, lively fins; and in the innocent way I was, happy_had it been for me if I had died! Moralizing fat I by the hazardtable; I looked upon the uncertainty of riches, the decay of beauty, and the crash of worlds with as much contempt as ever Plato did. But ah! the frailty of human nature! fome ridiculous thought came into my head, wakened my paffions, which burst forth into a violent laughter: I rofe from my feat, and not confidering the just resentments of the lofing gamefters, hurl'd a ball of paper cross the table, which stop'd the dice, and turn'd up seven inftead of five. Curs'd on all fides, and not knowing where to fly, I threw myself into a chair, which I demolish'd and never spoke a word after. We went to fupper, and a lady said, Miss G. looks prodigiously like a Tree. Every body agreed to it, and I had not curiofity to ask the meaning of that sprightly fancy: Find it out, and let me know. Adieu, 'tis time to dress, and begin the business of the day.

PRAY

LETTER VI

In the Style of a Lady.

RAY what is your opinion of Fate? for I muft confefs I am one of those that believe in Fate and Predeftination.-No, I can't go fo far as that, but I own I am of opinion one's stars may incline, tho' not compel one; and that is a fort of free-will; for we may be able to refift inclination, but not compulfion.

Don't you think they have got into the moft prepofterous fashion this winter that ever was, of flouncing the petticoat fo very deep, that it looks like an entire coat of luteftring?

It is a little cool indeed for this time of year, but then, my dear, you'll allow it has an extreme clean pretty look.

Ay, fo has my muflin apron; but I would not chufe to make it a winter fuit of cloaths.

Well now I'll fwear, child, you have put me in mind of a very pretty drefs; let me die if I don't think a muflin flounce, made very full, would give one a very agreeable Flirtation-air.

Well, I fwear it would be charming! and I should like it of all things-Do you think there are any fuch things as Spirits?

Do you believe there is any fuch place as the Elyfian Fields? O Gad, that would be charming! I wish I were to go to the Elyfian fields when I die, and then I fhould not care if I were to leave the world to-morrow: But is one to meet there with what one has lov'd moft in this world?

Now you must tell me this pofitively. To be sure you can, or what do I correfpond with you for, if you won't tell me all? you know I abominate Referve.

LET

LETTER VII.

Bath, 1714,

You

OU are to understand, Madam, that my paffion for your fair felf and your fifter, has been divided with the most wonderful regularity in the world. Even from my infancy, I have been in love with one after the other of you, week by week, and my journey to Bath fell out in the three hundred feventy-fixth week of the reign of my sovereign lady Sylvia. At the present writing hereof it is the three hundred eighty-ninth week of the reign of your moft ferene majefty, in whofe fervice I was lifted fome weeks before I beheld your fifter. This Information will account for my writing to either of you hereafter, as either fhall happen to be Queenregent at that time.

Pray tell your fifter, all the good qualities and virtuous inclinations fhe has, never gave me so much pleasure in her conversation, as that one vice of her obftinacy will give me mortification this month. Ratcliffe commands her to the Bath, and she refuses! indeed if I were in Berkshire I should honour her for this obftinacy, and magnify her no lefs for difobedience than we do the Barcelonians. But people change with the change of places (as we fee of late) and virtues become vices when they cease to be for one's intereft, with me, as with others.

Yet let me tell her, fhe will never look fo finely while fhe is upon earth, as she would here in the water. It is not here as in most other inftances, for thofe ladies that would please extremely, muft go out of their own element. She does not make half fo good a figure on horfeback as Chriftina Queen of Sweden; but were fhe once feen in the Bath, no man would part with her for the best meirmaid in Christendom. You know I have feen you often, I

I 4

per

perfectly know how you look in black and in white, I have experienced the utmost you can do in colours; but all your movements, all your graceful steps, deserve not half the glory you might here attain, of a moving and easy behaviour in buckram: Something between swimming and walking, free enough, and more modeftly-half-naked than you can appear any where elfe. You have conquer'd enough already by land; fhow your ambition, and vanquish alfo by water. The buckram I mention is a dress particularly useful at this time, when, we are told, they are bringing over the fashion of German ruffs: You ought to use yourselves to fome degrees of ftiffnefs beforehand; and when our ladies chins have been tickled a-while with ftarched muflin and wire, they may poffibly bear the brush of a German beard and whifker.

I could tell you a delightful story of Doctor P. but want room to display it in all its fhining circumftances. He had heard it was an excellent cure for love, to kifs the Aunt of the perfon beloved, who is generally of years and experience enough to damp the fierceft flame: he try'd this course in his paffion, and kiffed Mrs. E- at Mr. D-'s, but, he fays, it will not do, and that he loves you as much

as ever.

Your, &c.

I'

LETTER VIII.

To the fame.

F you afk how the waters agree with me, I muft tell you, fo very well, that I queftion how you and I fhould agree if we were in a room by ourfelves. Mrs. has honestly affured me, that but

for