Fool. If I gave them all my living, I'd keep my coxcombs myself: There's mine; beg another of thy daughters. Lear. Take heed, sirrah; the whip. Fool. Truth's a dog that must to kennel? he must be whipped out, when lady, the brach, may stand by the fire and stink. Lear. A pestilent gall to me! Fool. Sirrah, I'll teach thee a speech. Fool. Mark it, nuncle: Have more than thou showest, And thou shalt have more Than two tens to a score. Lear. This is nothing, fool. Fool. Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer; you gave me nothing for't: Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle? Lear. Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing. Fool. Pr'ythee, tell him, so much the rent of his land comes to; he will not believe a fool. Lear. A bitler fool! [To Kent. Fool. Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and a sweet fool? Lear. No, lad; teach me. Fool. That lord, that counsell'd thee To give away thy land, Come place him here by me, Or do thou for him stand: Will presently appear; The one in motley here, Lear. Dost thou call me fool, boy? Fool. All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born with. Kent. This is not altogether fool, my lord. Fool. No, 'faith, lords and great men will not let me; if I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't: and ladies too, they will not let me have all fool to myself; they'll be snatching.-Give me an egg, nuncle, and I'll give thee two crowns. Lear. What two crowns shall they be? Fool. Why, after I have cut the egg i'the middle, and eat up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou clovest thy crown in the middle and gavest away both parts, thou borest thine ass on thy back over the dirt: Thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown, when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in this, let him be whipp'd that first finds it so. Fools had ne'er less grace in a year; [Singing. For wise men are grown foppish; And know not how their wits to wear, Lear. When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah? Fool. I have used it, nuncle, ever since thou madest thy daughters thy mother: for when thou gavest them the rod, and put'st down thine own breeches, Then they for sudden joy did weep, That such a king should play bo-peep, [Singing. Pr'ythee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy fool to lie; I would fain learn to lie. Lear. If you lie, sirrah, we'll have you whipp'd. Fool. I marvel, what kin thou and thy daughters are: they'll have me whipp'd for speaking true, thou'lt have me whipp'd for lying; and, sometimes, I am whipp'd for holding my peace. I had rather be any kind of thing, than a fool: and yet I would not be thee, nuncle; thou hast pared thy wit o'both sides, and left nothing in the middle: Here comes one o'the parings. Enter GONERIL. Lear. How now, daughter? what makes that frontlet on? Methinks, you are too much of late i'the frown. Fool. Thou wast a pretty fellow, when thou hadst no need to care for her frowning; now thou art an O without a figure: I am better than thou art now; I am a fool, thou art nothing.—Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue; so your face [To Goneril] bids me, though you say nothing. Mum, mum, He that keeps nor crust nor crum, That's a sheal'd peascod. [Pointing to Lear. Gon. Not only, sir, this your all-licens'd fool, But other of your insolent retinue Do hourly carp and quarrel; breaking forth I had thought, by making this well known unto you, Fool. For you trow, nuncle, The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long, So, out went the candle, and we were left darkling. Gon. Come, sir, I would, you would make use of that good wisdom whereof I know you are fraught; and put away these dispositions, which of late transform you from what you rightly are. Fool. May not an ass know when the cart draws the horse?-Whoop, Jug! I love thee. Lear. Does any here know me?-Why this is not Lear: does Lear walk thus? speak thus? Where are his eyes? Either his notion weakens, or his discernings are lethargied.-Sleeping or waking?-Ha! sure 'tis not so. Who is it that can tell me who I am?-Lear's shadow? I would learn that; for by the marks of sovereignty, knowledge, and reason, I should be false persuaded I had daughters. Fool. Which they will make an obedient father. This admiration is much o'the favour Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you As you are old and reverend, you should be wise: Than a grac'd palace. The shame itself doth speak By her, that else will take the thing she begs, And the remainder, that shall still depend, Lear. Yet have I left a daughter. Gon. You strike my people; and your disorder'd rabble Make servants of their betters. Enter ALBANY.. Lear. Woe, that too late repents,-O, sir, are you come? Is it your will? [To Albany] Speak, sir.-Prepare my horses. Ingratitude! thou marble-hearted fiend, More hideous, when thou show'st thee in a child, Than the sea-monster! Alb. Pray, sir, be patient. Lear. Detested kite! thou liest: [To Goneril. My train are men of choice and rarest parts, And in the most exact regard support The worships of their name.-O most small fault, Which, like an engine, wrench'd my frame of nature Beat at this gate, that let thy folly in, [Striking his Head. Lear. It may be so, my lord.-Hear, nature, hear; Dry up in her the organs of increase ; To have a thankless child!-Away, away! [Exit. Alb. Now, gods, that we adore, whereof comes this? Gon. Never afflict yourself to know the cause; But let his disposition have that scope That dotage gives it. Re-enter LEAR. Lear. What, fifty of my followers, at a clap! Within a fortnight? Alb. What's the matter, sir? Lear. I'll tell thee;-Life and death! I am asham'd That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus: [To Goneril. |