Our Don, who knew this tittle-tattle
Did, fure as trumpet, call to battle,
Thought it extremely à propos,

To ward against the coming blow:

:

To ward but how? Ay, there's the queftion;
Fierce the affault, unarm'd the bastion.

The Doctor feign'd a strange furprize :
He felt her pulfe; he view'd her eyes:
That beat too fast, these roll'd too quick;
She was, he faid, or would be fick :
He judg'd it abfolutely good,

That the fhould purge, and cleanse her blood.
Spa waters for that end were got:

If they paft easily or not,

What matters it? the lady's fever
Continued violent as ever.

For a distemper of this kind
(Blackmore and Hans are of my mind),
If once it youthful blood infects,
And chiefly of the female fex,

Is fcarce remov'd by pill or potion;
Whate'er might be our Doctor's notion,

One lucklefs night then, as in bed
The Doctor and the Dame were laid;
Again this cruel fever came,

High pulfe, fhort breath, and blood in flame,

What measures fhall poor Paulo keep

With Madam in this piteous taking?

She, like Macbeth, has murder'd fleep,
And won't allow him reft, though waking.

Sad

Sad ftate of matters! when we dare
Nor ask for peace, nor offer war;
Nor Livy nor Comines have shown
What in this juncture may be done.
Grotius might own, that Paulo's cafe is
Harder, than any which he places
Amongst his Belli and his Pacis.

He ftrove, alas! but ftrove in vain,
By dint of logick to maintain,
That all the fex was born to grieve,
Down to her Ladyship from Eve.

He rang'd his tropes, and preach'd-up patience;"
Back'd his opinion with quotations,
Divines and Moralifts; and run ye on
Quite through from Seneca to Bunyan.
As much in vain he bid her try
To fold her arms, to clofe her eye;
Telling her, reft would do her good,
If any thing in nature could :

So held the Greeks quite down from Galen,
Masters and princes of the calling:

So all our modern friends maintain

(Though no great Greeks) in Warwick-lane. Reduce, my Mufe, the wandering fong:

A tale fhould never be too long.

The more he talk'd, the more the burn'd, And figh'd, and toft, and groan'd, and turn'd: At last, I wish, faid fhe, my dear

(And whifper'd fomething in his ear).

L 2

}

You

You wish! wifh on, the Doctor cries :
Lord! when will womankind be wife?
What, in your waters? are you mad ?
Why poison is not half fo bad.

I'll do it

but I give you warning: You'll die before to-morrow morning. 'Tis kind, my dear, what you advise; The lady with a figh replies !

But life, you know, at best is pain;
And death is what we fhould disdain.
So do it therefore, and adieu :
For I will die for love of you. —
Let wanton wives by death be fcar'd:
But, to my comfort, I'm prepar❜d.

TH

THE LADLE.

HE fceptics think, 'twas long ago,
Since gods came down incognito,
To fee who were their friends or foes,
And how our actions fell or rofe:

That, fince they gave things their beginning;
And fet this whirligig a-fpinning;
Supine they in their Heaven remain,
Exempt from paffion and from pain:
And frankly leave us human elves,
To cut and fhuffle for ourselves :
To stand or walk, to rife or tumble,
As matter and as motion jumble.
5

The

The Poets now and Painters hold
This thefis both abfurd and bold :
And your good-natur'd gods, they say,
Defcend fome twice or thrice a-day:
Elfe all these things we toil fo hard in
Would not avail one fingle farthing:
For, when the hero we rehearse,
Το grace his actions and our verse;
'Tis not by dint of human thought,`
That to his Latium he is brought;
Iris defcends by Fate's commands,
To guide his steps through foreign lands:
And Amphitrite clears the way
From rocks and quick-fands in the fea.
And if you fee him in a sketch

(Though drawn by Paulo or Carache),
He fhews not half his force and ftrength,
Strutting in armour, and at length:
That he may make his proper figure,
The piece muft yet be four yards bigger:
The nymphs conduct him to the field;
One holds his fword, and one his shield;
Mars, ftanding by, afferts his quarrel;
And Fame flies after with a laurel.

These points, I fay, of fpeculation,
(As 'twere to fave or fink the nation)
Men idly-learned will difpute,
Affert, object, confirm, refute :
Each mighty angry, mighty right,
With equal arms fuftains the fight;

Till now no umpire can agree 'em :

So both draw off, and fing Te Deum.
Is it in equilibrio,

If deities defcend or no?

Then let th' affirmative prevail,
As requifite to form my tale :
For by all parties 'tis confeft,
That those opinions are the best,
Which in their nature most conduce
To prefent ends, and private use.

Two gods came therefore from above,
One Mercury, the other Jove :
The humour was (it feems) to know,
If all the favours they bestow,

Could from our own perverseness ease us ;
And if our with enjoy'd would please us.
Difcourfing largely on this theme,
O'er hills and dales their godfhips came;
Till, well nigh tir'd at almost night,
They thought it proper to alight.

Note here, that it as true as odd is,
That in difguife a god or goddess
Exerts no fupernatural powers;

But acts on maxims much like ours.
They fpied at last a country farm,

Where all was fnug, and clean, and warm;

For woods before, and hills behind,

Secur'd it both from rain and wind:

Large oxen in the field were lowing:

Good grain was fow'd: good fruit was growing:

Of