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paflion, made up of scorn and pity, “what are the pleasures you propose ?”. To eat before you are hungry, drink before you are athirst, sleep. before you are tired ; to gratify appetites before they are raised, and raise such appetites as, nature never planted. You never heard the most delicious music, which is the praife of one's self; nor saw the most beautiful object, which is the work of one's own hands. Your votaries pass away their youth in a dream of nistaken pleasures, while they are hoarding up anguish, torment, and remorse, for old age.

“ As for me, I am the friend of gods and of good men, an agreeable companion to the artizan, an house, hold guardian to the fathers of families, a patron and protector of servants, an associate in all true and gene: rous friendships. The banquets of my votaries are never costly, but always delicious; for none eat and drink at them who are not invited by hunger and thirst. Their slumbers are found, and their wakings cheerful. My young men have the pleasure of hearing themselves praised by those who are in years; and those who are: in years, of being honoured by those who are young: In a word, my followers are favoured by the gods, be: loved by their acquaintance, esteemed by their country, and, after the close of their labours, honoured by pofterity.”

We know, by the life of this memorable. hero, to which of these two ladies he gave up his heart ; and I believe every one who reads this, will do him the ju. ftice to approve his choice.

XX. Will Honeycomb's Spectator: My friend Will' Honeycomb has told me, for above this half

year that he had a great mind to try his hand at a Spectator, and that he would fain have one of his writing in my works. This morning I received from him the following letter; which, after having rectified some little orthographical mistakes, I shall make a . present of to the public.

“ Dear Spec, I was about two nights ago in com: pany with very agreeable young people of both sexes,



where, talking of some of your papers which are written on conjugal love, there arose a dispute among us, whether there were not more bad husbands in the world than bad wives. A gentleman, who was advocate for the ladies, took this occasion to tell us the story of a famous fiege in Germany; which I have since found related in my hiftorical dictionary after the following

When the Emperor Conrade III. had besieged Guelphus, Duke of Bavaria, in the city of Henfberg, the women, finding that the town could not poffibly hold out long, petitioned the Emperor that they might depart out of it with so much as each of them could carry. The Emperor, knowing they could not convey away many of their effects, granted them their petition ;, when the women, to his great surprise, came out of the place with every one her husband upon her back. The Emperor was so moved at the sight, that he burst into tears; and after having very much extolled the women for their conjugal affection, gave the men to their wives, and received the Duke into his fa


“ The ladies did not a little triumph at this story; asking us at the same time, whether in our consciences we believed that the men in any town of Great Britain would, upon the same offer, and at the same conjuncture, have loaded themselves with their wives ? or rather, whether they would not have been glad of such an opportunity to get rid of them! To this my very good friend Tom Dapperwit, who took upon him to be the mouth of our fex, replied, that they would be very much to blame if they would not do the same good office for the women, considering that their strength would be

greater and their burdens lighter. As we were amufing ourselves with discourses of this nature, in order to pass away the evening, which now begins to grow tedious, we fell into that laudable and primitive diversion of questions and commands. I was no fooner vested with the regal authority, but I enjoined all the ladies, under pain of my displeasure, to tell the company ingenuously, in case they had been in the fiege abovementioned, and had the fame offers made them as the


good women of that place, what every one of them would have brought off with her, and have thought most worth the saving? There were several merry answers made to my question, which entertained us till bed-time. This filled my mind with such a huddle of ideas, that upon my going to sleep. I fell into the following dream.

“ I saw a town of this island, which shall be nameless, invested on every side, and the inhabitants of it fo Itraitened as to cry for quarter. The general refused any other terms than those granted to the above-men. tioned town of Hensberg, namely, that the married women might come out with what they could bring along with them. Immediately the city gates flew open, and a female procession appeared, multitudes of the fex fol. lowing one another in a row, and staggering under their respedive burdens. I took my stand upon an eininence in the enemy's camp, which was appointed for the general rendezvous of these female carriers, being very desirous to look into their several ladings. The first of them had a huge fack upon her shoulders, which she fet down with great care: upon the opening of it, when I expected to have seen her husband shot out of it, I found it was filled with china ware. The next appear. ed in a more decent figure, carrying a handsome young fellow upon her back: I could not forbear commending the young woman for her conjugal affection, when, to my great surprise, I found that she had left the good: man at home, and brought away her gallant. I saw the third, at fome distance, with a little withered face peeping over her shoulder, whom I could not fuspect for any but her spouse, till, upon her setting him down, I heard her call him. dear pug, and found him to be her favourite monkey. A fourth brought a huge bale of cards along with her; and the fifth a Bologna lapedog; for her husband, it seems, being a very bulky man, she thought it would be less trouble for her to bring away little cupid. The next was the wife of a rich usurer loaden with a bag of gold ;- she told us that her spouse was very old; and by the course of nature could not expect to live long; and that to show her: tender regard for him, the had saved that which the


poor man loved better than his life. The next came towards us with her son upon her back, who, we were told, was the greatest rake in the place, but so much the mother's darling, that she left her husband behind, with a large family of hopeful fons and daughters, for the sake of this gracelets youth.

« It would be endless to mention the several persons, with their several loads, that app ared to me in this ftrange vision. All the place about me was covered with packs of ribbands, brocades, embroidery, and ten thoufand other materials, fufficient to have furnished a whole street of toy-shops. One of the women, having an husband who was none of the heaviest, was bringing. him off upon her foulders, at the fame time that the carried a great bundle of Handers lace under her arm; but finding herself fo overloaden that Mie could not lave both of then, she dropped the good man, and brought away the bundle. In short, I found but one husband among this great mountain of baggage, who was a lively cobler, that kicked and spurred all he while his wife was carrying him on, and, as it was said, had scarce passed a day in his life without giving her the discipline of the strap

"I cannot conclude my letter, dear Spec, without telling thee one very odd whim in this my dream. I saw, methought, a dozen women employed in bringing off

one man : I could not guess who it thould be, till upon his nearer approach I discovered thy short phiz. The women all declared that it was for the fake of thy works, and not thy person, that they brought thee off, and that it was on condition that thou shouldnt continue the Spectator. If thou thinkeit this dream will make a tolerable one, it is at thy service, from, dear Spec, Thine peeping and waking,

WILL HONEYCOMB." The ladies will see by this letter, what I have often told them, that Will is one of those old fashioned men of wit and pleasure of the town, who show their parts by raillery on marriage, and one who has often tried his fortune that way without ficcess. I cannot however dismiss his letter, without observing that the true story on which it is built does honour to the sex; and that itt


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order to abuse them, the writer is obliged to have recourse to dream and fiction.

XXI. On Good Breeding. A FRIEND of yours and mine has very justly defined

good breeding to be," the result of much good sense, fo'e good nature, and a little self denial for the fake of others, and with a view to obtain the same indulgence from them." Taking this for granted, (as I think it cannot be disputed) it is astonishing to me, that any body, who has good sense and good nature, can efsentially fail in good breeding. As to the modes of it, indeed, they vary according to perfons, places, and cir. cuinítances, and are only to be acquired by observation and experience ; but the subítance of it is everywhere and eternally the same. Good manners are, to particuJar focieties, what good morals are to fociety in general; their cement, and their security. And, as laws are enacted to enforce good morals, or at least to prevent the ill effects of bad ones ; so here are certain rules of civility, universally implied and received, to enforce good manners, and puvish bad ones. And, indeed, there feems to me to be less difference, both between the crimes and punishments, than at first one would imagine. The immoral man, who invades another's property, is justly hanged for it; and the ill bred man, who, by his ill manners, invades and disturbs the quiet and comforts of private life, is by common consent as justly banished fociety. Mutual complaisances, attentions, and facrifices of little conveniencies, are as natural an implied compact between civilized people, as protection and obedience are between kings and subjects: whoever, in either cale, violates that compact, juilly forfeits all advantages ari. fing from it. For my own part, I really think that, next to the consciousness of doing a good action, that of doing a civil one is the most pleasing; and the epithet which I should covet the most, next to that of Aristie des, would be that of well-bred. Thus much for goodbreeding in general: I will now consider some of the various modes and degrees of it.

Very few, scarcely any, are wanting in the respect which they should show to those whom they acknow


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