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ving no inclination to follow any profession, I removed myself to town, and lived for lome time as most young gentlemen do, by spending four times my income. But it was my fiappiness, before it was too late, to fall in love, and to marry a very amiable young creature, whose fortune was just sufficient to repair the breach made in my own. With this agreeable companion I retreated to the country, and endeavoured as well as I was able to square my wishes to my circumstances. In this endeavour I succeeded so well, that except a few private hankerings after a little more than I pofleffed, and now-and-then a sigh when a coach-and-lix happened to drive by me in my walks, I was a very happy
I can truly affure you, Mr Fitz-Adam, that though our family economy was not much to be boalted of, and in consequence of it, we were frequently driven to great Straits and difficulties, I experienced more real Tatisfaction in this humble situation, than I have ever done since in more enviable circumstances. We were some times a little in debt, but when money came in, the pleafure of discharging what we owed was more than equivalent for the pain it put us to : and though the narrowness of our circumstances subjected us to many cares and anxieties, it served to keep the body in action as well as the mind; for, as our garden was somewhat large, and required more hands to keep it in order, than we could afford to hire, we laboured daily in it ourselves, and drew health from our necessities.
I had a little boy who was the delight of my heart, and who probably might have been spoilt by nursing, if the attention of his parents had not been otherwise einployed. His mother was naturally of a fickly constitution ; but the affairs of her family, as they engrossed all her thoughts, gave her no time for complaint. The ordinary troubles of life, which, to those who have nothing else to think of, are almost insupportable, were less terrible to us than to persons in eafier circumstances ; for it is a certain truth, however your readers may please to receive it, that where the mind is divided between many cares, the anxiety is lighter than where there is only one to contend with. And even in the happiest fi
tuation, in the midst of ease, health, and affluence, the mind is generally ingenious at tormenting itself ; losing the immediate enjoyment of those invaluable blessings, by the painful suggestion that they are too great for continuance.
These are the refle&tions that I have made since : for I do not attempt to deny that I figbed frequently for an addition to my fortune. The death of a diftant reJation, which happened five years after our marriage, gave me this addition, and made me for a tinie the happiest man living. My income was now increased to fix hundred a-year; and I hoped, with a little economy, to be able to make a figure with it. But the ill health of my wife, which in less easy circumstances had not touched me fo nearly, was now constantly in my thoughts, and foured all my enjoyments. The conscioulness too of having such an estate to leave my boy, made me fo anxious to preserve him, that instead of suffering him to run at pleasure where he pleased, and to grow hardy by exercise, I almost destroyed him by con finement. We now did nothing in our garden, because we were in circumstances to have it kept by others : but as air and exercise were necessary for our healths, we resolved to abridge ourselves in some unnecessary articles, and to set up an equipage. This in time brought with it a train of expences which we had neither prudence to foresee, nor courage to prevent. For as it enabled us to extend the circuit of our visits, it greatly increa• sed our acquaintance, and subjected us to the neceflity of making continual entertainments at home, in return for all those which we were invited to abroad. The charges that attended this new manner of living were much too great for the income we possessed ; insomuch that we found ourselves in a very short time more necessitous than ever. Pride would not suffer us to lay down our equipage ; and to live in a manner unsuitable to it, was what we could not bear to think of. To pay the debts I had contracted I was soon forced to mortgage, and at last to sell, the best part of my estate ; and as it was utterly impossible to keep up the parade any longer, we thought it adviseable to remove of a sudden,
to sell our coach in town, and to look out for a new fituation at a great distance from our acquaintance.
But unfortunately for my peace, I carried the habit of expence along with me, and was very near being reduced to absolute want, when, by the unexpected death of an uncle and his two sons, wlio died within a few weeks of each other, I succeeded to an estate of seven thousand pounds a-year.
And now, Mr Fitz-Adam, both you and your readers will undoubtedly call me a very happy man: and so indeed I was. I set about the regulation of my family with the most pleasing fatisfaction. The fplendour of my equipages, the magnificence of my plate, the crowd of fervants that attended me, the elegance of my house and furniture, the grandeur of my park and gardens, the luxury of my table, and the court that was everywhere paid me, gave me inexpressible delight, fo long as they were novelties: but no sooner were they become habitual to me, than I lost all manner of relish for them; and I discovered in a very little time, that by having nothing to wish for, I had nothing to enjoy. My appetite grew palled by fatiety, a perpetual crowd of visitors robbed me of all domestic enjoyment, my servants plagued me, and my steward cheated me...
But the curse of greatness did not end here. Daily experience convinced me that I was compelled to live more for others than myself. My uncle had been a great party-man, and a zealous opposer of all ministerial measures; and as his estate was the largest of any gen. tleman's in the county, he supported an interest in it beyond any of his competitors. My father had been greatly obliged by the court-party, which deterinined: me in gratitude to declare myself on that lide : but the difficulties I had to encounter were too many and too great for me ;-insomuch that I have been baffled and defeated in almost every thing I have undertaken. TO desert the cause I have embarked in would disgrace me, and to go greater lengths in it would undo me.
I am engaged in a perpetual state of warfare with the principal gentry of the county, and am curfed by my tenants and dependants for compelling them at every election to
vote (as they are pleased to tell me) contrary to their conscience.
My wife and I had once pleased ourselves with the thought of being useful to the neighbourhood, by deal. ing out onr charity to the poor and industrious ; but the perpetual hurry in which we live, renders us incapable of looking out for objects ourselves; and the agents we entrust are either pocketing our bounty, or beftowing it on the undeserving. At night, when we retire to rest, we are venting our complaints on the miseries of the day, and praying heartily for the return of that peace which was only the companion of our humbleft situation.
This, Sir, is my history; and if you give it a place in your paper, it may serve to inculcate this important truth, that where pain, fickness, and abfolute want are out of the question, no external change of circumstances can make a man more laitingly happy than he was be. fore. It is to the ignorance of this truth, that the universal dissatisfaction of mankind is principally to be af. cribed. Care is the lot of life; and he that afpires to greatness in hopes to get rid of it, is like one who throws himself into a furnace to avoid the shivering of an ague.
The only satisfaction I can enjoy in my present situation is, that it has not pleased heaven in its wrath to make me a king.
V. Battle of Pharfalia and Death of Pompey. AS the armies approached, the two generals went
from rank to rank, encouraging their troops. Pompey represented to his men, that the glorious occafion which they had long befought him to grant was now before them; “ and, indeed,” cried he, "what advantages could
you with over an enemy, that you are not now pofseffed of? Your numbers, your vigour, a late victory, all assure a speedy and an easy conquest of those harassed and broken troops, composed of men worn out with age, and impressed with the terrours of a recent defeat: but there is still a stronger bulwark for our protection than the fuperiority of our strength-the justice of our -cause. You are engaged in the defence of liberty and of your country; you are supported by its laws, and followed by its magistrates; you have the world fpec
tators of your conduct, and wishing you success : on the contrary, lie whom you oppose is a robber and oppressor of his country, and almost already funk with the consciousness of his crimes, as well as the bad success of his arms. Show, then, on this occasion, all that ardour and detestation of tyranny that should animate Romans, and do justice to mankind.” Cæsar, on his side, went among his men with that steady serenity for which he was so much admired in the midst of danger. He in fifted on nothing so strongly to his soldiers as his frequent and unsuccessful endeavours for peace. He talked with terrour of the blood he was going to shed, and pleaded only the neceflity that urged him
to it. He de. plored the many brave men that were to fall on both fides, and the wounds of his country whoever should be victorious. His foldiers answered his speech with looks of ardour and impatience ; which observing, he gave the signal to begin. The word on Pompey's side, was. Hercules the invincible : that on Cæsar's, Venus the vicetorious. There was only so much space between both armies as to give room for fighting ; wherefore Pompey ordered his men to receive the first shock without moving out of their places, expecting the enemy's ranks to be put into disorder by their motion. Cæsar's soldiers were now rushing on with their usual impetuosity, when perceiving the enemy motionless, they all stopt short as if by general consent, and halted in the midst of their career. A terrible pause ensued, in which both armies continued to gaze upon each other with mutual terrour. At length, Cæsar's men, having taken breath, ran furiously upon the enemy, first discharging their javelins, and then drawing their swords. The fame method was observed by Pompey's troops, who as vigorously oppofed the attack. His cavalry also were ordered to charge at the very onset, which, with the multitude of archers and slingers, foon obliged Cæsar's men to give ground; whereupon Cæfar immediately ordered the fix cohorts that were placed as a reinforcement to advance, with orders to ftrike at the enemy's faces. This had its de fired effect. The cavalry, that were but just now sure of victory, received an immediate check: the unusual method of fighting pursued by the cohorts, their aiming