'Squire (interrupted Dick) fince when Were you amongst these cunning men ? Dear Dick, quoth Mat. let not thy force Of Eloquence fpoil my difcourfe.

I tell thee, this is Alma's cafe,

Still afking, what fome wife-man fays,
Who does his mind in words reveal,
Which all muft grant; though few can spell.
You tell your doctor, that y'are ill:
And what does he but write a bill,
Of which you need not read one letter?
The worse the fcrawl, the dofe the better.
For if you knew but what you take;
Though you recover, he muft break.
Ideas, forms, and intellects

Have furnish'd out three diff'rent fects.
Subftance, or Accidents divides

All Europe into adverse sides.

Now, as engag'd in arms or laws,

You must have friends to back your caufe:
In Philofophic matters fo

Your judgment muft with others go.

For as in fenates, fo in fchools,

Majority of voices rules.

Poor Alma, like a lonely deer,

O'er hills and dales does doubtful err :
With panting haste, and quick furprize,
From ev'ry leaf that stirs, the flies:
'Till mingl'd with the neighb'ring herd,
She flights what erft fhe fingly fear'd,
And now, exempt from doubt and dread,
She dares purfue; if they dare lead:

As their example still prevails;

She tempts the ftream, or leaps the pales.
He then, quoth Dick, who by your rule
Thinks for himself, becomes a fool.
As party-man who leaves the reft,
Is call'd but whimsical at best.
Now, by your favour, Mafter Mat,
Like Ralpho, here I fmell a rat.
I must be lifted in your fect;

Who, though they teach not, can protect
Right, Richard, Mat. in triumph cry'd:
So put off all mistrust and pride.
And while my principles I beg,
Pray answer only with your leg.
Believe what friendly I advife :
Be first fecure; and then be wife..
The man within the coach that fits,
And to another's fkill fubmits,
Is fafer much (whate'er arrives)
And warmer too, than he that drives.

So, Dick Adept, tuck back thy hair;
And I will pour into thy ear
Remarks, which none did e'er disclose,
In fmooth-pac'd verfe, or hobling profe.
Attend, dear Dick; but don't reply:
And thou may't prove as wife as I.
When Alma now in diff'rent ages,
Has finish'd her afcending ftages;
Into the head at length fhe gets,
And there in public grandeur fits,
To judge of things, and cenfure wits.

Here, Richard, how could I explain,.
The various lab'rinths of the brain?
Surprise my readers, whilst I tell 'em
Of Cerebrum, and Cerebrellum?
How could I play the commentator
On Dura, and on Pia Mater?
Where hot and cold, and dry and wet,
Strive each the other's place to get;
And with inceffant toil and ftrife,
Would keep poffeffion during life.
I could demonftrate every pore,
Where mem'ry lays up all her store;
And to an inch compute the station,
'Twixt judgment, and imagination.
O friend! I could difplay much learning,
At least to men of fmall difcerning.
The brain contains ten thousand cells:
In each fome active fancy dwells;
Which always is at work, and framing
The feveral follies I was naming.
As in a hive's vimineous dome,
Ten thousand bees enjoy their home;
Each does her ftudious action vary,
To go and come, to fetch and carry :
Each ftill renews her little labour;
Nor juftles her affiduous neighbour :
Each-whilft this Thefis I maintain;
I fancy, Dick, I know thy brain...
O with the mighty Theme affected,.
Could I but fee thy head diffected!

My head, quoth Dick, to ferve your whim? Spare that, and take fome other limb.

Sir, in your nice affairs of System,
Wife men propofe; but fools affift 'em.
Says Matthew: Richard, keep thy head,
And hold thy peace; and I'll proceed.
Proceed? quoth Dick: Sir, I aver,
You have already gone too far.
When people once are in the wrong;
Each line they add, is much too long.
Who fastest walks, but walks aftray,
Is only furthest from his way.

Bless your conceits! muft I believe,
Howe'er abfurd, what you conceive:
And, for your friendship, live and die
A Papift in philosophy?

I fay, whatever you maintain.
Of Alma in the heart, or brain;
The plaineft man alive may tell ye,
Her feat of empire is the belly:
From hence the fends out those fupplies,
Which makes us either ftout or wife :
The ftrength of ev'ry other member,
Is founded on your belly timber:
The qualms or raptures of your blood
Rife in proportion to your food:
And if you would improve your thought,
You must be fed, as well as taught.
Your ftomach makes your fabric roll;
Juft as the bias rules the bowl.
That great Achilles might employ
The ftrength defign'd to ruin Troy:
He din'd on hon's marrow, fpread
On toafts of ammunition bread:

་

But by his mother fent away,
Amongst the Thracian girls to play,
Effeminate he fat and quiet:

Strange product of a cheese-cake diet!
Now give my argument fair play;
And take the thing the other way:
The youngster, who at nine and three
Drinks with his fifters milk and tea,
From breakfaft reads 'till twelve a clock,
Burnet and Heylin, Hobbes and Locke;
He pays due vifits after noon

To coufin Alice, and Uncle John:
At ten from coffeehoufe or play
Returning, finishes the day.

But give him Port, and potent Sack;
From Milk-fop he starts up Mohack:
Holds that the happy know no hours ::
So through the ftreet at midnight fcours:
Breaks watchmen's heads, and chairmen's glaffes;
And thence proceeds to nicking fafhes:

"Till by fome tougher hand o'ercome,

And first knock'd down, and then led homes
He damns the footman, ftrikes the maid,
And decently reels up to bed.

Obferve the various operations

Of food, and drink in feveral nations..
Was ever Tartar fierce or cruel,
Upon the ftrength of water gruel?
But who shall stand his rage and force;
If first he rides, then eats his horfe?
Sallads, and eggs, and lighter fare
Tune the Italian fpark's guitar.