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For one may fpeak with Tully's tongue;
Yet all the while be in the wrong.
And 'tis remarkable, that they

Talk moft, who have the leaft to fay.
Your dainty fpeakers have the curse,
To plead bad caufes down to worse :
As dames, who native beauty want,
Still uglier look, the more they paint.
Again if in the female fex,

:

Alma fhould on this member fix; (A cruel and a defp'rate cafe,

From which heav'n fhield my lovely lafs !)

For evermore all care is vain,

That would bring Alma down again.
As in habitual gout, or stone,
The only thing that can be done,
Is to correct your drink and diet,
And keep the inward foe in quiet:
So, if for any fin of ours,
Or our forefathers, higher powers,
Severe tho' juft, afflict our life
With that prime ill, a talking wife;
'Till death shall bring the kind relief:
We must be patient, or be deaf.

You know, a certain lady, Dick,
Who faw me, when I laft was fick,
She kindly talk'd, at least three hours,
Of Plastic forms, and Mental pow'rs:
Defcrib'd our pre-exifting station,
Before this vile terrene creation:"
And left I should be weary'd, Madam,

To cut things hort, came down to Adam;

From whence, as faft as she was able,
She drowns the world, and builds up Babel:
Thro' Syria, Perfia, Greece fhe goes;
And takes the Romans in the clofe.

But we'll defcant on gen'ral nature:
This is a fyftem, not a fatire.

Turn we this globe; and let us fee,
How diff'rent nations disagree,
In what we wear, or eat and drink;
Nay, Dick, perhaps in what we think.
In water as you smell and tafte

The foils, thro' which it rofe and past;
In Alma's manners you may read
The place where he was born and bred.

One people from their swadling bands
Releas'd their infants feet and hands:
Here Alma to these limbs was brought;
And Sparta's offspring kick'd and fought:
Another taught their babes to talk,
Ere they cou'd yet in goe-carts walk:
There Alma fettl'd in the tongue;
And orators from Athens fprung.

Obferve but in thefe neighb'ring lands,
The diff'rent use of mouths and hands:
As men repos'd their various hopes,
In battles these, and thofe in tropes.

In Britain's ifles, as Heylin notes,
The ladies trip in petticoats;

Which for the honour of their nation,
They quit but on fome great occafion.
Men there in breeches olad you view :
They claim that garment, as their due.

In Turkey the reverse appears

Long coats the haughty husband wears:
And greets his wife with angry fpeeches ;
If the be feen without her breeches.

In our fantastic Climes the fair
With cleanly powder dry their hair:
And round their lovely breaft and head
Fresh flow'rs their mingled odors fhed.
Your nicer Hottentotes think meet,
With guts and tripe to deck their feet:
With downcaft looks on Totta's legs,
The ogling youth most humbly begs,
She would not from his hopes remove
At once his breakfast, and his love:
And if the skittish nymph fhould fly;
He in a double fenfe muft die.

We fimple Toafters take delight
To fee our women's teeth look white.
And ev'ry faucy ill-bred fellow
Sneers at a mouth profoundly yellow.
In China none hold women sweet,
Except their fnags are black as jett.
King Chihu put nine queens to death,
Convict on ftatute, iv'ry teeth.

At Tonquin if a prince fhould die:
(As Jesuits write, who never lie)
The wife, and counsellor, and priest,
Who ferv'd him moft, and lov'd him best;
Prepare, and light his fun'ral fire,
And chearful on the pile expire.
In Europe 'twould be hard to find
In each degree one half fo kind.

Now turn we to the fartheft eaft, And there obferve the gentry dreft'; Prince Giolo, and his royal fifters, Scar'd with ten thoufand comely blifters ; The marks remaining on the skin, To tell the quality within. Diftinguish'd flashes deck the great: As each excells in birth, or ftate; His oylet-holes are more, and ampler : The king's own body was a fampler. Happy the climate, where the beau Wears the fame fuit for use, and showe And at a small expence your wife, If once well pink'd, is cloath'd for life. Weftward again the Indian fair Is nicely fmear'd with fat of bear : Before you fee, you fmell your toast: And sweetest she, who ftinks the most The finest sparks, and cleanest Beaux Drip from the shoulders to the toes. How fleek their skins their joints how easy There flovens only are not greasy.

I mention'd diff'rent ways of breeding; Begin we in our children's reading. To Mafter John the English maid A horn-book gives of ginger-bread; And that the child may learn the better, As he can name, he eats the letter: Proceeding thus with vaft delight, He fpells, and gnaws, from left to right.. But fhew a Hebrew's hopeful fon, Where we fuppofe the book begun;

The child would thank you for your kindness,.
And read quite backward from our Finis.
Devour he learning ne'er fo fast,
Great A would be referv'd the last.

An equal inftance of this matter,
Is in the manners of a daughter.
In Europe, if a harmless maid,
By nature and by love betray'd,"
Should ere a wife become a nurse;
Her friends would look on her the worse.
In China, Dampier's travels tell ye:
(Look in his index for Pagelli :)
Soon as the British fhips unmoore,
And jolly long-boat rows to fhore;.
Down come the nobles of the land:
Each brings his daughter in his hand,
Befeeching the imperious tar

To make her but one hour his care:
The tender mother stands affrighted,
Left her dear daughter fhould be flighted.
And poor Miss Yaya dreads the fhame.
Of going back the maid fhe came.
Obferve how cuftom, Dick, compells-
The lady that in Europe dwells;
After her tea fhe flips away;

And what to do, one need not fay
Now fee great Pomonque's queen
Behav'd herself among the men:
Pleas'd with her punch, the gallant fout
First drank, then water'd in the bowl,

And sprinkl'd in the captain's face
The marks of her peculiar grace

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