So held the GREEKS quite down from GALEN,
Masters and Princes of the Calling:

So all our Modern Friends maintain

(Tho' no great GREEKS) in WARWICK-LANE.

Reduce, my Mufe, the wand'ring Song: A Tale fhould never be too long.

The more He talk'd, the more She burn'd,
And figh'd, and toft, and groan'd, and turn'd:
At last, I wish, faid She, my Dear-
(And whisper'd fomething in his Ear.)
You wish! with on, the Doctor cries:
Lord! when will Womankind be wife?
What, in your Waters? are You mad?
Why Poyson is not half fo bad.
I'll do it-But I give You Warning:
You'll die before To-morrow Morning.
'Tis kind, my Dear, what You advise;
The Lady with a Sigh replies:

But Life, You know, at beft is Pain:
And Death is what We fhould difdain.
So do it therefore, and Adieu:

For I will die for Love of You:

Let wanton Wives by Death be fcar'd:
But, to my Comfort, I'm prepar'd.

THE

LADLE.

THE Scepticks think, 'twas long ago,
Since Gods came down Incognito,

To fee Who were Their Friends or Foes,
And how our Actions fell or rofe:

That fince They gave Things their Beginning;
And set this Whirligig a Spinning;

Supine They in their Heav'n remain,
Exempt from Paffion, and from Pain:
And frankly leave us Human Elves,
To cut and fhuffle for our selves:
To stand or walk, to rife or tumble,
As Matter, and as Motion jumble.

The Poets now, and Painters hold
This Thefis both abfurd and bold:
And your good-natur'd Gods, They fay,
Defcend fome twice or thrice a day:
Elfe all these Things We toil fo hard in,
Would not avail one fingle Farthing:
For when the Hero We rehearse,
To grace His Actions, and Our Verfe;
'Tis not by dint of Human Thought,
That to his LATIUM He is brought:
IRIS defcends by FATB's Commands,
To guide his Steps thro' Foreign Lands:

And

And AMPHITRITE clears his Way
From Rocks and Quick-fands in the Sea

And if You fee Him in a Sketch. (Tho' drawn by PAULO or CARACHE) He shows not half his Force and Strength, Strutting in Armour, and at Length: That He may make his proper Figure, The Piece muft yet be four Yards bigger: The NYMPHS conduct Him to the Field: One holds his Sword, and One his Shield: MARS ftanding by afferts his Quarrel: And FAME flies after with a Lawrel

These Points, I fay, of Speculation
(As 'twere to fave or fink the Nation)
Men idly learned will difpute,
Affert, object, confirm, refute:
Each mighty angry, mighty right,
With equal Arms fuftains the Fight;
'Till now no Umpire can agree 'em:
So both draw off, and fing Te Deum

Is it in Equilibrio,

If Deities defcend or no?
Then let th Affirmative prevail,
As requifite to form my Tale:
For by all Parties 'tis confeft,
That those Opinions are the best,

Which in their Nature most conduce
To prefent Ends, and private Use.

Two Gods came therefore from above,
One MERCURY, the t'other JoVE:
The Humour was (it feems) to know,
If all the Favours They beftow,

Could from our own Perverseness ease Us;
And if our Wish injoy'd would please Us.

Difcourfing largely on this Theme,
O'er Hills and Dales Their Godfhips came;
'Till well nigh tir'd at almost Night,
They thought it proper to alight.

Note here, that it as true as odd is, That in Disguise a God or Goddess Exerts no fupernatʼral Powers ;

But acts on Maxims much like Ours.

They spy'd at last a Country Farm, Where all was fnug, and clean, and warm; For Woods before, and Hills behind

Secur'd it both from Rain and Wind:

Large Oxen in the Fields were lowing:

Good Grain was fow'd: good Fruit was growing:
Of last Year's Corn in Barns great Store;

Fat Turkeys gobbling at the Door:

And Wealth (in fhort) with Peace confented,
That People here fhould live contented:

But

But did They in Effect do fo?

Have Patience, Friend; and Thou fhalt know.

The honeft Farmer and his Wife, To Years declin'd from Prime of Life, Had ftruggl'd with the Marriage Noofe; As almost ev'ry Couple does:

Sometimes, My Plague! sometimes, My Darling!

Kiffing to Day, to Morrow fnarling;

Jointly submitting to endure

That Evil, which admits no Cure.

Our Gods the outward Gate unbarr'd:

Our Farmer met 'em in the Yard;
Thought They were Folks that loft their Way;
And ask'd them: civily to stay:

Told 'em, for Supper, or for Bed

They might go on, and be worfe fped.

So faid, fo done: the Gods confent:
All three into the Parlour went:
They complement: They fit: They chat;
Fight o'er the Wars; reform the State:
A thousand knotty Points They clear;
Till Supper and my Wife appear.

JOVE made his Leg, and kifs'd the Dame: Obfequious HERMES did the fame.

JOVE kiss'd the Farmer's Wife, You fay.

He did

but in an honeft Way:

Ii

Oh!