THE KNIGHT AND THE LADY. A DOMESTIC LEGEND OF THE REIGN OF QUEEN "Hail wedded love? mysterious tie?" And Sir Thomas, her Lord, was stout of limb, And his hat was remarkably broad in the brim, And she was uncommonly fond of him,— And the name and the fame Of the Knight and his Dame Were ev'rywhere hailed with the loudest Looked less like her Mari, As he walked by her side, than her Père,1 l'here are some might be found entertaining a notion That such an entire and exclusive devotion And, to such a fair dame, Really demanded some sort of apology. No doubt it would vex One half of the sex To see their own husband in horrid green "specs," Instead of enjoying a sociable chat, Still poking his nose into this and to that, With nasty long tails armed with nasty long stings; And they'd join such a log of a spouse to condemn, One eternally thinking, And blinking, and winking At grubs-when he ought to be winking at them. But no-oh, no! 'Twas by no means so With the Lady Jane Ingoldsby,-she, far discreeter, And having a temper more even and sweeter, Would never object to Her spouse, in respect to His poking and peeping Much less be still keeping lamenting, and weeping, Or scolding at what she perceived him so deep in. Tout au contraire, No lady so fair Enough to make less gifted visitors stare, And declare, where'er They had been, that "they ne'er In their lives had seen aught that at all could compare With dear Lady Jane's housewifery—that they would swear." Nay, more; don't suppose This account of her merits must come to a close; No: examine her conduct more closely, you'll find She by no means neglected improving her mind; For there, all the while, with air quite bewitching, She sat herring-boning, tambouring, or stitching, Or having an eye to affairs of the kitchen. Sat her kinsman, MacBride, see If you look at the Ingoldsby family tree, pears "Captain Dugald MacBride, Royal Scots Fusileers;" And I doubt if you'd find in the whole of his clan A more highly intelligent, worthy young man. And there he'd be sitting, While she was a-knitting, Or hemining, or stitching, or darning and fitting, Was e'er known to wear more contented an Or putting a "gore," or a "gusset," or "bit" in, Reading aloud, with a very grave look, "wise saw Some very from some very good book The Captain was reading aloud to the Dame, He set out, poor dear Soul!-but he never Till, from having gone through half the books on the shelf, came back. The lady at table,-stood up, and said grace, Then sat himself down in Sir Thomas's place. Wearily, wearily, all that night, That live-long night, did the hours go by; And the Lady Jane, "And thus 'twill be,-nor long the day,- Shall shine, but shine on other forms;- TON GATE, Shall receive a REWARD of FIVE POUNDS for his trouble. (N. B.-If defunct, the Reward will be double!!") "Had he been above ground He must have been found. 1 The familiar abbreviation for Tappington Everard still in use among the tenantry. No; doubtless he's shot,-or he's hanged,-| or he's drowned! Then his Widow-ay!-ay !- -To address her at once-at so early a day? Well-what then?-who cares?-let 'em say what they may— A fig for their nonsense and chatter!-suffice it, her Charms will excuse one for casting sheep's eyes at her!" When a man has decided As Captain McBride did, And once fully made up his mind on the matter, he Can't be too prompt in unmasking his battery. He began on the instant, and vowed that her eyes Far exceeded in brilliance the stars in the skies, That her lips were like roses her cheeks were like lilies Her breath had the odor of daffy-downdillies " With a thousand more compliments equally true, And expressed in similitudes equally new! An "uncommon fine" Tadpole, remarkably fat! He stooped; and he thought her His own; he had caught her! Got hold of her tail,-and to land almost brought her, When Oh! 'tis shocking to view The sight which the corpse reveals! Sir Thomas's body, It looked so odd-he Was half eaten up by the eels! His waistcoat and hose, and the rest of his clothes, Were all gnawed through and through; And out of each shoe An eel they drew ; And from each of his pockets they pulled out two, And the Gardener himself had secreted a few, As well we may suppose; For, when he came running to give the alarm, He had six in the basket that hung on his arm. Good Father John And masses were sung, and masses were said, But Lady Jane was tall and slim, And Lady Jane was fair,And, ere morning came, that winsome dame Had made up her mind-or, what's much the same, Had thought about—once more "changing her name," And she said, with a pensive air, To Thomas the Valet, while taking away, When supper was over, the cloth and the tray, "Eels a many I've ate; but any So good ne'er tasted before !— he plumped head and heels into They're a fish, too, of which I'm remarkably fifteen feet water: The Lady Jane was tall and slim, The Lady Jane was fair, fond, Go, pop Sir Thomas again in the pondPoor dear!-HE'LL CATCH US SOME MORE!! |