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THE KNIGHT AND THE LADY.

A DOMESTIC LEGEND OF THE REIGN OF QUEEN
ANNE.

"Hail wedded love? mysterious tie?"
THOMSON Or SOMEBODY.
The Lady Jane was tall and slim,
The Lady Jane was fair,

And Sir Thomas, her Lord, was stout of limb,
But his cough was short, his eyes were dim,
And he wore green "specs," with a tortoise-
shell rim,

And his hat was remarkably broad in the brim,

And she was uncommonly fond of him,—
And they were a loving pair!—

And the name and the fame

Of the Knight and his Dame

Were ev'rywhere hailed with the loudest

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Looked less like her Mari,

As he walked by her side, than her Père,1 l'here are some might be found entertaining a notion

That such an entire and exclusive devotion
To that part of science folks style Entomology
Was a positive shame,

And, to such a fair dame,

Really demanded some sort of apology.

No doubt it would vex

One half of the sex

To see their own husband in horrid green "specs,"

Instead of enjoying a sociable chat,

Still poking his nose into this and to that,
At a gnat, or a bat, or a cat, or a rat,
Or great ugly things,
All legs and wings,

With nasty long tails armed with nasty long stings;

And they'd join such a log of a spouse to condemn,

One eternally thinking,

And blinking, and winking

At grubs-when he ought to be winking at them.

But no-oh, no! 'Twas by no means so With the Lady Jane Ingoldsby,-she, far discreeter,

And having a temper more even and sweeter, Would never object to

Her spouse, in respect to

His poking and peeping
After things creeping:"

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Much less be still keeping lamenting, and weeping,

Or scolding at what she perceived him so deep in.

Tout au contraire, No lady so fair

Enough to make less gifted visitors stare, And declare, where'er

They had been, that "they ne'er In their lives had seen aught that at all could compare

With dear Lady Jane's housewifery—that they would swear."

Nay, more; don't suppose
With such doings as those

This account of her merits must come to a close;

No: examine her conduct more closely, you'll find

She by no means neglected improving her mind;

For there, all the while, with air quite bewitching,

She sat herring-boning, tambouring, or stitching,

Or having an eye to affairs of the kitchen.
Close by her side

Sat her kinsman, MacBride,
Her cousin fourteen-times removed, as you'll

see

If you look at the Ingoldsby family tree,
In "Burke's Commoners," vol. xx. page 53.
All the papers I've read agree
Too, with the pedigree,
Where, among the collateral branches, ap-

pears

"Captain Dugald MacBride, Royal Scots Fusileers;"

And I doubt if you'd find in the whole of his clan

A more highly intelligent, worthy young man. And there he'd be sitting,

While she was a-knitting,

Or hemining, or stitching, or darning and fitting,

Was e'er known to wear more contented an Or putting a "gore," or a "gusset," or "bit"

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in,

Reading aloud, with a very grave look, "wise saw Some very from some very good

book

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The Captain was reading aloud to the Dame, He set out, poor dear Soul!-but he never Till, from having gone through half the

books on the shelf,

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came back.

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The lady at table,-stood up, and said grace,

Then sat himself down in Sir Thomas's place.

Wearily, wearily, all that night,

That live-long night, did the hours go by; And the Lady Jane,

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"And thus 'twill be,-nor long the day,-
Ere we, like him, shall pass away!
Yon Sun, that now our bosom warms,

Shall shine, but shine on other forms;-
Yon Grove, whose choir so sweetly cheers
Us now, shall sound on other ears,-
The joyous Lamb, as now, shall play,
But other eyes its sports survey,
The stream we love shall roll as fair,
The flowery sweets, the trim Parterre,
Shall scent, as now, the ambient air,-
The Tree, whose bending branches bear
The One loved name, shall yet be there ;-
But where the hand that carved it?-
Where?"

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TON GATE,

Shall receive a REWARD of FIVE POUNDS for his trouble.

(N. B.-If defunct, the Reward will be double!!")

"Had he been above ground

He must have been found.

1 The familiar abbreviation for Tappington Everard still in use among the tenantry.

No; doubtless he's shot,-or he's hanged,-| or he's drowned!

Then his Widow-ay!-ay !-
But what will folks say?

-To address her at once-at so early a day? Well-what then?-who cares?-let 'em say what they may—

A fig for their nonsense and chatter!-suffice it, her

Charms will excuse one for casting sheep's eyes at her!"

When a man has decided

As Captain McBride did,

And once fully made up his mind on the matter, he

Can't be too prompt in unmasking his battery. He began on the instant, and vowed that her eyes

Far exceeded in brilliance the stars in the skies,

That her lips were like roses her cheeks were like lilies

Her breath had the odor of daffy-downdillies "

With a thousand more compliments equally true,

And expressed in similitudes equally new!
-Then his left arm he placed
Round her jimp, taper waist-
-Ere she fixed to repulse, or return, his
embrace,

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An "uncommon fine" Tadpole, remarkably fat!

He stooped; and he thought her

His own; he had caught her!

Got hold of her tail,-and to land almost brought her,

When

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Oh! 'tis shocking to view

The sight which the corpse reveals!

Sir Thomas's body, It looked so odd-he Was half eaten up by the eels!

His waistcoat and hose, and the rest of his clothes,

Were all gnawed through and through;

And out of each shoe An eel they drew ; And from each of his pockets they pulled out two,

And the Gardener himself had secreted a few,

As well we may suppose;

For, when he came running to give the alarm, He had six in the basket that hung on his

arm.

Good Father John
Was summoned anon;
Holy water was sprinkled,
And little bells tinkled,
And tapers were lighted,
And incense ignited,

And masses were sung, and masses were said,
All day, for the quiet repose of the dead,
And all night no one thought about going to
bed.

But Lady Jane was tall and slim,

And Lady Jane was fair,And, ere morning came, that winsome dame Had made up her mind-or, what's much the

same,

Had thought about—once more "changing her name,"

And she said, with a pensive air,

To Thomas the Valet, while taking away, When supper was over, the cloth and the tray,

"Eels a many I've ate; but any So good ne'er tasted before !—

he plumped head and heels into They're a fish, too, of which I'm remarkably fifteen feet water:

The Lady Jane was tall and slim,

The Lady Jane was fair,

fond,

Go, pop Sir Thomas again in the pondPoor dear!-HE'LL CATCH US SOME MORE!!

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