ghie the Lye, or (if need be, and they are fure it can be done with Safety) a Challenge. Pray observe my reasonable and prudent Precaution, that it may be done with Safety; for that Man would be inexcufably rafh and fool-hardy, who should put himself in danger of turning out of this World, in defence of an Argument to prove there is no other beyond it; for if he should too late find himself mistaken, (and none of us can pretend to Demonstration on our Side of the Question,) it would be a damned unlucky Experiment, without a Poffibility of Recovery. I infift upon it, therefore, that no Irrifor should pretend to use the Language of Defiance, till he is very fure of his Man, left he should catch a Tartar, which more than once or twice I have known to be the Cafe, to the great Difcredit of our Caufe, and Difhonour of our Champions. The Poet has given us an admirable Defcription of one of this Clafs in the Character of Perithous, in his Dispute with Achelous. He describes him as a Man of a fierce Temper, that neither feared the Gods, nor regarded Men, and therefore gives his Antagonist the Lyed, and calls him a credulous superstitious Puppy, to give any Credit to fuch ridiculous Abfurdities as had been related in the Story of a miraculous Transformation. It was well for him that Lelex, the principal Perfon of the Company, was a Man of more Age and Gravity than himself; had he been a furious hot-mettled Fellow, more Mischief

b

a

e

IRRIDET credentes, utque b Deorum

C

Spretor erat, mentifque ferox Ixione natus

FICTAREFERS nimiumq; putas Achelöe potentes Effe Deos, inquit, fi dant adimuntque figuras. Ovid. Met. Ante omnefque Lelex animo maturus & ævo. C

might

might have been done in half an Hour, than might have been repaired in half an Age.

Some of the Gentlemen of this Clafs may probably have Ambition enough to shine in a higher Degree or Sphere of Life; if fo, they must be affured, that higher Attainments will be expected from them, and therefore I would advife thofe who cannot read to put themselves under fome diligent and induftrious Tutor, that they may, without Delay, make them→ felves able to read at least fuch Books as fhall be recommended to them by their Superiors. And as for thofe who can read already, I humbly propofe that they should begin with reading the History of Tom Thumb, Robin Hood, Curl's modeft Collection of Poems, Tryals, &c. Independent Whig, Fable of the Bees, Shry's Characteristics, Barbeyrac, but, above all, Bayle's Dictionary; which Book alone is a Treasure of Learning to them who are able to read it, and indeed to thofe that are not, if they are fo happy as to live in fuch a Neighbourhood, as to hear it read fomnetimes, or fome of its shining Parts repeated in Converfation. I have known Wonders done folely by this Book. I knew a certain Gentlemen, of a very robuft Conftitution, and a good bodily Underftanding, who never seemed to have either Talents or Ambition for any thing higher than a fimple Rifor in Matters of Religion, though a good Fox-hunter, and a very good Bowler. This Man had the good Fortune to be confined above two Months by a Fit of the Gout, in which he read fome of the eafieft Parts of this ftupendous Book, only by way of Amusement in the Interval of his Pains; but, to the Surprize of all that knew him, it had fo marvellous an Effect upon

his

his Understanding, he immediately commenced an accomplished Querift. I have heard him flourish with the Wit and Criticism of that renowned Author for above an Hour together, without the leaft Sign of Fear or Diffidence, and would make no more of the Parfon of the Parifh than he would of a Tom-tit, or a Butterfly. If this ingenious Gentleman fhould have the good Fortune to have fuch another Fit, I would. venture to foretel, that he would be as accomplished a Paralogician as any Man of his Talents can be fuppofed to be.

And as the Students in other Academies are distinguished by certain Habits, Badges, or Marks of Diftinction, expreffive of their Quality, Rank, and Station, so I would humbly propofe, that the three abovementioned Claffes should be distinguished from the rest by wearing a Cockade of red and yellow Ribbands, curiously and artfully plaited together, but of different Sizes, in Proportion to their different Standing and Degrees; and if it should happen that any of the Military Gentlemen fhould be admitted among them, who are already diftinguished by a fmart Cockade of black Ribband, in all fuch Cafes, that due Honour may be paid to their distinct Capacities, they fhall be allowed to mix them, (or, to speak in the Language of Heraldry) to quarter the different Atchievements of the two united Families.

The Antiquity of this threefold Diftinction of the RISORS is very great. King David, if he were the Author of the firft Pfalm, plainly points at them, though he fpitefully and maliciously marks them out by Nick-names, and opprobrious Characters. But I find by the Latin, (which you know, with a little Embroidery

C 4

broidery of French, is generally the Top of our At tainments) that the very Names of DERISORS and IRRISORS are directly mentioned in the very. Senfe that we mean them, though not, perhaps, in the fame Degrees of Subordination that we have affigned them. The Latin Verfion of the Hebrew calls them Derifores, in confeffu Deriforum non fedit. The Syriac (I mean the Latin Verfion) calls them Irrifores, fuper fede Irriforum non fedit. And it appears, by the Writings of the Believers themselves, that there has been a very ancient Tradition, which fome pretend to carry higher than Noah's Flood, that in the latter Times, (not improbably our own Times, these Days of Light and Philosophy) the Gentlemen of this Clafs fhould make a shining Figure in the World, and greatly distress the Patrons and Defenders of Priestcraft and Superstition. The Author of the Book commonly called Peter's Second Epiftle, mentions it, in the third Chapter, in a very particular and emphatical Manner, Knowing this first, that, in the last Days, fhall grife IRRISORES, fays Beza's Latin Verfion, ILLUSORES, fays the Vulgar Latin; which our English Verfion has spitefully and maliciously translated Scoffers, a Word of a ridiculous and opprobrious Sound, though the Original certainly meant nothing more than this Rank or Clafs of Philofophers which we have been defcribing, because he immediately men tions the fame Perfons under the Character of Querifts, which is the next Degree to that of the Irrifors,

The Students, who have acquitted themselves well in these lower Claffes, and after due Examination (which shall be constantly had at every Anniversary Meeting) fhall appear qualified for higher Degrees and

Services,

Services, fhall then be admitted to the Degree of Que rifts, answering to that of Inceptors or Bachelors in the University. They shall not only be allowed to laugh and banter, but to puzzle and perplex Conversation, to interrupt every thing that looks like close Reasoning in the Way of common Logic, to which the Gentlemen of this Class are not permitted to make a direct Reply, but to beat them out of their Play, by pouring in smart and unlucky Questions one upon the Neck of another, with a very arch Face, without staying for an Answer. This, let me tell you, is a very useful Exercise, which I have seen played off more than once with very good Effect. We were fome of us not long ago at Lord W's Table, where my little Captain is allowed the Liberty of talking his own Way, without Check or Restraint; upon his opening a little too deep, he was interrupted by a fmoky old Parson, who fat beside him in a Lay Habit: As soon as he could recover himself from his Confusion, he cocked up his fhort Chin in a Pofture of Defiance, looked fierce as a Cock-Sparrow, and begun as follows: Doctor, I knew not you were a Parfon, but as I find you are, and make no doubt but you are a Man of Learning, I want to be fatisfied in fome Doubts which I hope you will be able to refolve me. Pray tell me what you think of the Story of Adam and Eve, was it not a damned hard Cafe that they fhould be fo feverely punished only for eating an Apple?— And is it not fill a greater Hardship upon us poor Devils, their Pofterity, to be punished for their Faults, in which we had no manner of Concern? Is not this very hard, Doctor? As the Doctor was beginning to reply, he proceeds, Don't you think, Doctor, that Adam was in a fine Situation, in a delightful Garden with the finest Woman