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spect of the prime of my days having been thus far devoted to the service of the church, has afforded me peaceful satisfaction."
For many years she stood in the station of an elder, which she endeavoured to fill with propriety, entertaining a just conception of its nature and importance. Her meek submission to the dispensations of Providence, and patient endurance of bodily disease, often attended with great suffering, were instructive to those around her. In such seasons her mind was often remarkably supported; and she was enabled to give evidence that her trust and confidence were placed on Him who is "touched' with the feeling of our infirmities.” On one of these occasions she writes as follows : “Under a deep sense of
my unwortbiness of that holy help which alone can enable me to bear with Christian fortis tude, patience, and resignation, those aflictions attendant on frail humanity, a feeling of discouragement peryaded my mind; but I remembered that so great was the love of God to poor lost man, that 'He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life;' and that those who have been made
willing to accept the terms on which this salvation is freely offered, and are looking unto Jesus as the Author and Finisher of their faith, may rest in humble confidence that strength will be afforded proportioned to every trial. Under these considerations my mind felt sweet consolation.” 1820.
At another time she says: “Being again permitted to feel myself recovering from an illness of some weeks continuance, I have felt a desire to commemorate the same; having been, I think, evidently favoured with the extension of holy help, strengthening and supporting my mind under the pressure of great bodily weakness : on which account I have been at times enabled to offer a tribute of thanksgiving and praise to the great Dispenser of every blessing. With respect to the state of my mind, I think I never experienced more stripping seasons than of late, wherein I have felt so entirely destitute of all sense of of a divine principle, as to feel a total incapacity availingly to seek after it, or even livingly to desire it; so that my state has been truly comparable to a stone at the bottom of Jordan. How deeply humiliating and abasing have these seasons been! but thereby we
become convinced that whatever we possess of heavenly treasure in our "earthen vessels,' is all of free grace; dispensed in unmerited mercy, and wholly unattainable by any creaturely effort. After abiding for a time under these trials, I was favoured with a renewal of strength and ability to get to a state of waiting upon the Lord, as in the quiet habitation ;' and although I have not at times felt much sensible consolation, yet I have had cause to rejoice in feeling the sufficiency of that Almighty power which alone is able to cause the dry bones' again to live, and the barren wilderness to become as a fruitful field.' And I wish to add to this memorandum, that I have been deeply convinced of the insufficiency of man, by any effort of his own, to effect any thing towards the great work of salvation; but that it must be wholly wrought out and effected by and through the glorious plan of redemption by Jesus Christ; and that those who happily become subjects of this redemption, will for ever renounce all claim to merit; and will therefore ascribe the glory where it is, and will be everlastingly, due.” 10th of 9th Mo. 1822.
The state of her inind in her last illness, will also be best described in her own words:
Previously to, and during the fore part of the illness by which I am now confined, I was tried with great depression of mind; the heavens seemed “as brass," and no sensible access was granted to the Throne of Mercy: and although I did not feel the stings of a wounded conscience, yet feeling nothing to recommend me to Divine favour, but, on the contrary, having been of so little use to the souls of my fellow-creatures, I was so greatly bowed down, that it proved an alloy in my better moments, thinking I should not be entitled to the promise, “They that turn many to righteousness shall shine as the stars for ever and ever.' But on one of these occasions the first part of the text suddenly revived in my mind,
They that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament;' when I was enabled to believe that I had been in possession of the fear of the Lord, which is said to be “Wisdom ;' and might therefore hope that, through the efficacy of redeeming love, I should be num. bered amongst the wise. By this reflection I felt consoled ; and, in an unexpected season, my bonds became more fully loosed; and I was enabled to make the following memorandum
in grateful conmemoration of the favour conferred.
“ 28th of 10th Month, 1825. During a severe attack of pain, which lasted for some hours, my mind seemed much supported in sweet tranquillity, and raised as it were from earth to heaven; attended with a consoling belief that if I was removed from this state of existence it would be well with me: and under a deeply humbling sense of the weakness and frailty of human nature, and of our state of entire dependence on holy aid to preserve from evil, the language of my heart was—0! may all praise be ascribed where it is ever due; even to the free unmerited mercy of God in Christ Jesus, our blessed Mediator and Atoning Sacrifice for sin. I also felt that nothing short of a foundation laid on this Rock, could have been sufficient to support me in times of trial, when the billows of affliction have been permitted to rise high ; or to afford a well grounded hope of an admission at last into that'glorious city, none of whose inhabitants shall say, I am sick ; and the people who dwell therein are forgiven their iniquities. Access was again granted to the Fountain of Blessings ; which now richly flowed in my before tried mind,