2. But it is not only Revenge that unfits us for Reconciliation; all Surlinefs and Moroseness of Temper, all Roughness and Inacceffibleness of Manners, does ftrangely alienate our Neighbour from us, and obftruct this good Work of Reconciliation. Christian Civility, animated by true Love and Charity, is one of the most neceffary Qualifications for reftoring Peace, and reconciling Differences. What can be more obliging than Charity, as it is defcribed by St Paul, 1 Cor. xiii. 4, 5, 7. Charity fuffereth long, and is kind Charity envieth not, Charity vaunteth not it felf, is not puffed up; doth not behave it felf unfeemly, Jeeketh not her own, is not eafily provoked, thinketh no Evil; beareth all Things, believeth all Things, hopeth all Things (for the best) endureth all Things. This is a noble Temper, which whofoever is bleft with, not only carefully abftains from making Quarrels; but is very ready to accommodate and make them up.

3. Another Qualification neceffary for this Duty of Reconciliation, and of great Affinity with the former, is that of Prudence in a good Government of the Tongue; there is nothing wounds fo deep, or rather there is no Weapon that doth fo much rankle in the wounding, as the Tongue doth; it is like a poisoned Arrow, not only wounds, but wounds in an unfair Manner, that its Wounds are not easily healed. Whofoever would learn to be of a reconciling Temper, must abftain from all provoking Words, either to the Adverfary himself, or behind his Back. The Apoftle St Paul joins thefe two together, Tit. iii. 2. To speak evil of no Man, and to be no Brawlers, or Quarrellers, dusa, but gentle, fhewing

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fhewing all Meekness to all Men. This right Management of the Tongue, the wife Man obferves to have a special Virtue in it to overcome the harfheft Tempers. A foft Tongue, faith he, breaketh the Bone, Prov. xxv. 15. and a foft Answer turns away Wrath, Prov. xv. 1. What was it that reconciled Jacob to his Brother Esau, who was an angry Man, and came to meet him in a very bad Temper of Mind? Was it not chiefly the mild Expreffions of Jacob, which he put into the Mouth of his Servants? His calling him my Lord Efau, and calling himself his Servant, did perhaps appeafe his fierce Spirit, as much as the Prefents he prefented him with. David's kind Words, joined with the like kind Actions, in fparing Saul's Life, when he had him in his Power, did fo gain upon the Spirit of that Haughty Man, that he was melted into Tears of Tendernefs and Repentance; for he lifted up his Voice and wept, and faid, Is this thy Voice, my Son David? 1 Sam. xxiv. 16. It was by kind Words that Abigail difarmed David and his Men, after he had vowed the Deftruction of her Husband, and all his House. Certainly the ufual Methods of railing against, mifreprefenting, ridiculing, and lampooning our Adverfary, are only Means to keep up Feuds; whereas good Words would quickly put an End to them.

4. In Order to Reconciliation with our Neighbour, to good Words we must add kind Actions. First, We are to look upon all Acts of Justice as our Adverfaries Due, as well as our Friends; it is a devilish Maxim of fome People, that an Enemy deferves no fair Play; and therefore they stick at nothing, fo they may fatisfie their Revenge by hurting

;

hurting him, whether by detracting from his real Worth; by withholding from him the due Praise and Reward of his good Deeds; or by raifing and propagating all the Calumnies they can of him and, in short, taking all the unjustest Methods to do him a Prejudice; whereas true Juftice ought to be equal to Friend and Foe; and the one, as well as the other, ought to be praised, and rewarded according to his Merit. But then it is not bare Juftice, which is due to an Adverfary; if we intend to comply with this Duty of Reconciliation, we must endeavour to gain him by Acts of Love and Kindness; fuch as we are frequently exhorted to in the Holy Scriptures. For this I take to be the Purport of thefe excellent Precepts, Exod. xxiii. 4. If thou meet thine Enemy's Ox, or bis Afs, going aftray, thou shall furely bring it back to him again. If thou fee the Afs of him that hateth thee lying under his Burden, and wouldt forbear to help him, thou shalt furely help with him. If thine Enemy Hunger, feed him; if he Thirst, give him Drink: for in fo doing thou shalt heap Coals of Fire upon his Head. Be not overcome of Evil, but overcome Evil with Good, Rom. xii. 20. There are few Enemies fo hard-hearted, but that they may be gained by fuch Methods of Kindness.

5. Towards Reconciliation, there is a notable Method laid down by our Saviour himself, Matt. xviii. 15. If thy Brother trespass against thee, go and tell him his Fault between thee and him alone:

but if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more; and if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the Church; but if he neglect to bear the Church, let him be unto thee as an Heathen Man, and a Publican. I know there are great

Difputes

Difputes concerning the Meaning of that Passage; which I have not now Time to confider; but this is plain, that before we give Vent to our Refentments, by blabbing out our Complaints to others; our Saviour recommends a Method, which would confult our Neighbour's Satisfaction and Reputation, and would fpare his Modesty by acquainting him, all alone by himself, what it is that offends us; for there often wants no more towards preferving a good Understanding, than that we be difcreetly acquainted with the Cause of Offence; that we meet in Time, before Grudges and Jealoufies have taken Root in our Heart; and with the Freedom of Friends, difcourfe and argue our Matters. And if this First Method fails, the Second of taking One or Two more, provided they be wifely chofen, and friendly to both the differing Parties, is ufually very fuccefsful. The Affiftance of their concurring Reafons, and the Discretion of their Judgment and Arbitration, is an excellent Expedient towards Reconciliation. As to the Third, of telling the Church; that is, as I take it, the Chriftian Society, or those among them to whom the Deciding or Compounding of Differences was left, he must be a strange Chriftian indeed, that would not fubmit his Differences to fuch an Authority. But if there was any fuch, our Saviour allowed him to be impleaded before the Heathen Courts; that I take to be meant by thefe Words, let him be unto thee as an Heathen Man and a Publican.

6. If we would comply with this Duty of Reconciliation, we must have a great Care not to be entangled with Party Quarrels. The Spirit of a Party is what is moft oppofite to Concord of

any

any other Thing whatsoever. For there a Man is obliged, tho' he should happen to be fatisfied in his own Particular, to efpouse the whole Syftem of Differences, which the Party has with the Reft of the World; and inftead of one, to involve himself in a great many Controverfies; and instead of his own Particular, to make himself a great many publick Enemies, which is the Way to propagate Quarrels to the End of the World.

7. Lastly, If we would be reconciled with our Adversary, let us learn carefully to abstain from all the ufual Occafions of Differences; whether we regard the Matter of the Difference it felf, or the Manner of managing it; for in both these, great Errors are ufually committed. As to the First, the Matter of the Difference, there are fome certain Opinions, fome curious Questions of little or no Ufe, but to be Bones of Contention, which, through the Indifcretion of Mankind, or the Cunning of the Adverfary, are ufually brought upon the Stage, and fet Men by the Ears. All these we fhould avoid like fo many Wrecks, which point out to us the dangerous Shoals and Rocks, upon which Veffels have been often caft away. And together with these com

mon Occafions of Difference, moft Men have fome Favourite Humour or Fancy, which they love to indulge; which, while it goes contrary to no Law of God or Man, and does no Harm to our Neighbour, it is a Piece of Morofenefs and ill Nature to difpute againft, or contradict, only because it is not fo agreeable to our Taste and Palate. For Men are commonly very fond of their own Fancies, Humours and Conceptions, and provided they be innocent, it is not worth while

to