Faith, quit thine empire, and come down,
That thou and I may share the crown,
I've tri'd the worst thy arms can do,
Come then, and taste my power too,
Which (howsoe'er it may fall short)
Will doubtless prove the better sport.
Yet do not; for in field and town,
The females are so loving grown,
So kind, or else so lustful, we,
Can neither err, though neither see;
Keep then thine own dominions, lad,
Two Loves would make all women mad.

SONNET.

Go false one, now I see the cheat,
Your love was all a counterfeit,
And I was gall'd to think that you,
Or any she, could long be true.
How could you once so kind appear,
To kiss, to sigh, and shed a tear,
To cherish and caress me so,
And now not let but bid me go?

Oh woman! frailty is thy name,
Since she's untrue y'are all to blame,
And but in man no truth is sound:

'Tis a fair sex, we all must love it,

But (on my conscience) could we prove it,
They all are false ev'n under ground.

STANZES DE MONSIEUR BERTAUD.
WHILST wish ng Heaven in his ire
Would punish with some judgment dire
This heart to love so obstinate;
To say I love her is to lie,
Though I do love t'extremity,

Since thus to love her is to hate.

But since from this my hatred springs,
That she neglects my sufferings,

And is unto my love ingrate,
My hatred is so full of flame,
Since from affection first it came,

That 'tis to love her thus to hate.

I wish that milder love, or death,
That ends our miseries with our breath,
Would my affections terminate;
For to my soul, depriv'd of peace,
It is a torment worse than these.
Thus wretchedly to love and hate.
Let love be gentle or severe,
It is in vain to hope or fear

His grace or rage in this estate,
Being I from my fair one's spirit
Nor mutual love, nor hatred merit
Thus foolishly to love and hate.
Or, if by my example here
It just and equal do appear,

She love and loath, who is my fate,
Grant me, ye powers, in this case,
Both for my punishment and grace,
That, as I do, she love and hate.

neck

To have seen a great hill, a rock, or a cave,
And thought there was nothing so pleasant and

brave;

But at forty years old you may (if you please)
Think me wiser than run such errands as these;
Or, had the same humour still ran in my toes,
A voyage to Ireland I ne'er should have chose:
But to tell you the truth on't, indeed it was neither
Improvement nor pleasure for which I went thither;
I know then you'll presently ask me, for what?
Why, faith, it was that makes the old woman

trot;

And therefore I think I'm not much to be blam'd
If I went to the place whereof Nick was asham'd.
Oh Coriate! thou traveller fam'd as Ulysses,
In such a stupendious labour as this is,
Come lend me the aids of thy hands and thy fect,
Though the first be pedantic, the other not sweet,
Yet both are so restless in peregrination,
They'll help both my journey, and cke my relation.

'Twas now the most beautiful time of the year,
The days were now long, and the sky was now clear,
And May, that fair lady of splendid renown,
Had dress'd herself fine, in her flowr'd tabby gown,
When about some two hours and an half after noon,
When it grew something late, though I thought it

too soon,

With a pitiful voice, and a most heavy heart,
I tun'd up my pipes to sing, loth to depart,
The ditty concluded, I call'd for my horse,
And with a good pack did the jument endorse,
Till he groan'd and he f-d under the burthen,
For sorrow had made me a cumbersome lurden :
And now farewel Dove, where I've caught such
brave dishes

Of over-grown, golden, and silver-scal'd fishes;
Thy trout and thy grailing may now feed securely,
I've left none behind me can take 'em so surely;
Feed on then, and breed on, until the next year,
But if I return I expect my arrear.

By pacing and trotting, betimes in the even, F'er the Sun had forsaken one half of the Heaven, We all at fair Congerton took up our inn, Where the sign of a king kept a king and his queen: But who do you think came to welcome me there? No worse a man, marry. than good master mayor, With his staff of command, yet the man was not

lame,

But he needed it more when he went, than he came;
After three or four hours of friendly potation
We took leave each of other in courteous fashion,
When each one, to keep his brains fast in his head,
Put on a good night-cap, and straight way to bed.
Next morn, having paid for boil'd, roasted, and

bacon,

And of sovereign hostess our leaves kindly taken, (For her king (as 'twas rumour'd) by late pouring.

down,

This morning had got a foul flaw in his crown,)

be such,

For the best ale in England, it is not too much:
Let's have it, and quickly."-" O sir! you may
stay;

A pot in your pate is a mile in your way:
Come, bring out a bottle here presently, wife,

Of the best Cheshire bum he e'er drank in his life."
Straight out comes the mistress in waistcoat of
silk,

As clear as a milkmaid, and white as her milk,
With visage as oval and sleek as an egg,
As straight as an arrow, as right as my leg:
A curtsey she made, as demure as a sister,
I could not forbear, but alighted and kiss'd her:
Then ducking another with most modest mien,
The first word she said, was, "Will't please you

walk in ?"

I thank'd her; but told her, I then could not stay,
For the haste of my bus'ness did call me away.
She said, she was sorry it fell out so odd,
But if, when again I should travel that road,
I would stay there a night, she assur'd me the
nation

Should no where afford better accommodation:
Meanwhile my spruce landlord has broken the cork,
And call'd for a bodkin, though he had a fork;
But I show'd him a screw, which I told my brisk
gull

A trepan was for bottles had broken their scull;
Which, as it was true, he believ'd without doubt,
But 'twas I that apply'd it, and pull'd the cork out.
Bounce, quoth the bottle, the work being done,
It roar'd, and it smok'd, like a new fir'd gun;
But the shot miss'd us all, or else we'd been routed,
Which yet was a wonder, we were so about it.
Mine host pour'd and fill'd, till he could fill no
fuller:
[for colour,
"Look here, sir," quoth he, "both for nap and

Sans bragging, I hate it, nor will I e'er do't ;
I defy Leek, and Lambhith, and Sandwich, to boot."
By my troth, he said true, for I speak it with tears,
Though I have been a toss-pot these twenty good
years,
[debtor,
And have drank so much liquor has made me a
In my days, that I know of, I never drank better:
We found it so good, and we drank so profoundly,
That four good round shillings were whipt away
roundly;

And then I conceiv'd it was time to be jogging,
For our work had been done, had we staid t'other
noggin.

From thence we set forth with more mettle and
spright,

Our horses were empty, our coxcombs were light;
O'er Dellamore forest we, tantivy, posted,

Till our horses were basted as if they were roasted:
In truth, we pursu'd might have been by our haste,
And I think sir George Booth did not gallop so fast,
Till about two o'clock after noon, God be blest,
We came, safe and sound, all to Chester i' th' west.
And now in high time 'twas to call for some meat,
Though drinking does well, yet some time we

must cat ;

And i' faith we had victuals both plenty and good,
Where we all laid about us as if we were wood:
Go thy ways, mistress Anderton, for a good wo-
[mon;

man,

Thy guests shall by thee ne'er be turn'd to a com-
And whoever of thy entertainment complains,
Let him lie with a drab, and be pox'd for his pains.
And here I must stop the career of my Muse,
The poor jade is weary, 'las! how should she
choose!

And if I should farther here spur on my course,
I should, questionless, tire both my wits and my
horse:

To night let us rest, for 'tis good Sunday's even,
To morrow to church, and ask pardon of Heaven,
Thus far we our time spent, as here I have penn'd it,
An odd kind of life, and 'tis well if we mend it:
But to morrow (God willing) we'll have t'other

bout,

And better or worse be't, for murther will out,
Our future adventures we'll lay down before ye,
For my Muse is deep sworn to use truth of the
story.

CANTO II.

AFTER Seven hours' sleep, to commute for pains
taken,

A man of himself, one would think, might awaken;
But riding, and drinking hard, were two such spells,
I doubt I'd slept on, but for jangling of bells,
Which, ringing to mattins all over the town,
Made me leap out of bed, and put on my gown,
With intent (so God mend me) I have gone to the
choir,

When straight I perceived myself all on a fire;
For the two fore-nam'd things had so heated my

blood,

That a little phlebotomy would do me good:
I sent for chirurgion, who came in a trice.
And swift to shed blood, needed not be call'd twice,
But tilted stiletto quite thorough the vein,
From whence issued out the ill humours amain;

But, however, I staid at the church's commanding
Till we came to the peace passes all understanding,
Which no sooner was ended, but whir and away,
Like boys in a school when they've leave got to
play;

All save master mayor, who still gravely stays
Till the rest had left room for his worship and's

mace:

Then he and his brethren in order appear,
I out of my stall, and fell into his rear;
For why, 'tis much safer appearing, no doubt,
In authority's tail, than the head of a rout.

In this rev'rend order we marched from pray'r;
The mace before me borne as well as the may'r;
Who looking behind him, and seeing most plain
A glorious gold belt in the rear of his train,
Made such a low congé, forgetting his place,
I was never so honour'd before in my days:
But then off went my scalp case, and down went
my fist,
[kist;
Till the pavement, too hard, by my knuckles was
By which, though thick-scull'd, he must under-
stand this,

That I was a most humble servant of his;
Which also so wonderful kindly he took,
(As I well perceiv'd both b' his gesture and look)
That to have me dogg'd home he straightway ap-

pointed,

Resolving, it seems, to be better acquainted,

The man, upon this, comes me running again,
But yet minc'd his message, and was not so plain;
Saying to me only, “Good sir, I am sorry
To tell you my master has sent again for you;
And has such a longing to have you his guest,
That I, with these ears, heard him swear and
protest,
[bum,

there;

He would neither say grace, nor sit down on his
Nor open his napkin, until you do come."
With that I perceiv'd no excuse would avail,
And, seeing there was no defence for a flail,
I said I was ready master may'r to obey,
And therefore desir'd him to lead me the way.
We went, and ere Malkin could well lick her ear,
(For it but the next door was, forsooth) we were
[stairs,
Where lights being brought me, I mounted the
The worst I e'er saw in my life at a mayor's;
But every thing else must be highly commended.
I there found his worship most nobly attended,
Besides such a supper as well did convince,
A may'r in his province to be a great prince:
As he sat in his chair, he did not much vary,
In state nor in face, from our eighth English

Harry;

But whether his face was swell'd up with fat,
Or puff'd up with glory, I cannot tell that.
Being enter'd the chamber half length of a pike,
And cutting of faces exceedingly like [Indies,
One of those little gentlemen brought from the
And screwing myself into congees and cringes,
By then I was half way advanc'd in the room,
His worship most rev'rendly rose from his bum,
And with the more honour to grace and to greet
me,

Advanc'd a whole step and an half for to meet me;
Where leisurely doffing a hat worth a tester,
He bade me most heartily welcome to Chester.
I thank'd him in language the best I was able,
And so we forthwith sat us all down to table.

1 By which you may note, that either the man was mistaken, or the mayor was not so good as his word, when he said he would not sit down till I

caine.