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"Take another glass of brandy, lieuten- "Oh, don't mind me.”
“ How? Everybody supposed you did.” ant.-Leave the city, must I? But if I tell “But your plan ?”
Appearances are often deceptive." you that I am on the eve of being married, “Well, to-morrow at eleven meet me un. “ But I cannot understand—” and—”
der the big linden - tree near the Fabricius “You are a bad psychologist, my dear “That's precisely it!” stammered the villa, and leave the rest to Fate-in other doctor. We can now be frank with each lieutenant. “You shall not marry—at least, words, to me.”
other. I was prompted to favor Serbingen you shall not marry my Emma !”
I shall not fail."
by caprice-just to show you that I was in“Oh, ho! now it begins to dawn upon “ And now, good-night.”
different to your homage." me! You love Fräulein Fabricius, then?” “Good-night, my noble, my generous “But, in Heaven's name, madame, wbat “ More than my life !” friend!”
had I done to make you dislike me so? It " And does Emma know it?"
" A propos, here is your revolver." was not till I became thoroughly convinced “Knows it, and returns my love."
“You see me deeply, deeply humbled. that all my endeavors would be fruitless-not So, so! this is all news to me. Have Do me the favor to accept the weapon as a till Henriette told me you had a deep-seated you any proofs ?” souvenir of this evening."
aversion for me” “ Proofs ! Look here!” said he, produc- “ Thank you, I will.”
“ What! Did she tell you that? The ing a photograph.
The two men separated-Otto to dream 1 little liar!” Leopold recognized the features of his of the gentle Emma; Leopold to think of the “Louise ! is it possible? Were we both fiancée. On the reverse side was written, in morrow.
deceived? Then you never disliked me?” a delicate hand :
“I told you last evening that you were in “To my dearly beloved Otto, with ten The weather could not have been more error. On the contrary, at first I had a tbousand kisses.-EMMA."
favorable for a drive than it was the follow- greater liking for you than I was willing to “ Ugh! a pretty clear case. But she nev. ing morning, and Leopold was prompt in confess. It was not till Henriette assured er said a word to me about you."
keeping his appointment with Madame von She's too timid." Ustendorff.
“The little traitress! The perfidious lit. “You may be right; but the mother is “What, are you going to drive yourself?" | tle wretch! She willfully destroyed the hapnot too timid."
she asked, in a tone of genuine surprise, piness of my life. O Louise! why must I lose “The old tyrant! It's all her fault. You when she saw the elegant tilbury at the you before you were mine?” are rich, while I have only a modest compe- door.
“ For Heaven's sake! You will make me tence, and then you know how to manage “Certainly. Handling horses is one of regret that I accepted your invitation." the old woman, perhaps ; I don't, for I hate the few things I think myself skilled in." “O Louise, I love you, if possible, more her !"
The beautiful young widow changed color than ever !" Leopold took a moment for reflection. very perceptibly, but she cleverly turned at- “Do you want to make me jump out ?" The lieutenant sipped his coffee, and seemed tention from herself by expressing her admi
" Let me look'in your eyes.” somewhat more composed.
ration for the beautiful roadster that pawed “Look in the eyes of your Emma." Then you love Fräulein Fabricius sin. the ground in his impatience to be off.
“ Listen to me. I have long been recerely, do you ?" asked Leopold.
In five minutes they were in the open signed to my fate—to most things I am com“With my whole heart !” protested the country, when Leopold brought his horse paratively indifferent; but I have one burnlieutenant. down to a slow trot.
ing desire. Will you gratify it?" “And you will engage to make her happy “A glorious morning,” said Louise.
“ What is it?" if I, after due deliberation-"
“The most glorious of my life," replied “I would look into your very soul. Did “How?" cried Otto, so loud that he was Leopold.
you love your husband ?" startled by the sound of his own voice. “Is “How beautiful is the deep green of the
“What a question!” it possible ? " meadows!"
“ You will not answer me?" “Let me finish. You see, lieutenant, I "And the lovely red of my companion's "I respected him-1-1-yes, I liked him am of opinion that the stupidest thing a man cheeks!”
exceedingly." can do is to marry a woman who loves an. “None of that, doctor-please."
“ Did you love him ? " other, if he knows it.”
“Pardon me, madame, for thinking so
“ Love him? Yes. I loved him as-as “On my soul, a truth that cannot be con- loud."
you love your Emma." troverted!”
“ Think of something else. What a love- Oh, how I thank you for this confes“Would it be agreeable to you if I should ly view we have of the old castle yonder from sion! Further: If I had sued for your hand resign my official position, vis-d-vis the gentle this point!”
at the same time he did" Emma, in your favor, now and here ?"
“It reminds me of the old castle near “No more, doctor, I beg." “Unparalleled magnanimity!” cried Otto, D- Do you remember how the count “Would you have accepted him in prefquite beside himself. “ You, a man of honor locked us all in the chapel, where we were erence to me?" in the highest and noblest sense of the word-compelled to remain for two whole hours ? “I cannot listen to such a question.” are you truly in earnest, or do you mock me?" Who all was there, in that party? There were “Will you answer me?"
“ Take another glass of brandy, lieuten. you, Henriette, poor Reinhold, whom she afant.-I am truly in earnest. Emma is yours. terward jilted, my sister, and two or three “I conjure you by all the tears I have In such matters I should be incapable of a others. Oh, those were the happiest hours shed on your account to tell me which you jest.”
of my life! I could have fallen at your feet would have chosen !” “But her mother--she will never ratify | and worshiped you."
“I have already told you that I did not our treaty."
"If my memory serves me, we talked of love Herr von Ustendorff with that all-ab. “Leave her to me; I trust I shall be able very indifferent things."
sorbing love of which you speak." to manage her.”
Ah, Louise, my mind was not on what I “O Louise, you give me new life! Now Oh, how shall I ever be able to thank was saying. I thought of nothing but you, one thing more, and you will make me the you? Such a sacrifice! Your magnanimity saw nothing but your glorious eyes. For an happiest of mortals. Say that you could love moves me almost to tears!”
hour I thought you were not wholly indiffer. and that you will be mine!" “Calm yourself, lieutenant. What I do ent to me. Then came the bitter, bitter re- “ Are you mal ?" is very natural. But now listen to what I ality. During all the rest of the day you did “ Louise, I never did nor can I ever lore have to propose.”
not deign even to look at me, but jested so any one but you!” he cried, and clasped her “I am all attention. Himmelschockmillio. gayly and laughed so immoderately with that round the waist. nendonnerwetter! I cannot realize it. You disagreeable, stupid Von Serbingen—"
"If you seek to be revenged, you have will excuse the oath, but I must give vent to "I never thought Herr von Serbingen any attained your object. Your mockery Founds my feelings in some way.”
more agreeable than other people did.” more deeply than I can tell you."
She covered her face with her hands and ing you to my betrothed, Frau Louise von At this moment the door opened and Emwept bitterly.
Ustendorff, née Gerhard.—My love, allow me ma entered the room. She wore a lovely, "Listen to me. Will you drive me from to make you acquainted with the future hus- bright-colored morning-dress, but her cheeks you a second time?
I love you, and you band of my Emma—the happiest man alive, were pale. Her handsome though rather ex. alone." with one exception.”
pressionless blue eyes seemed to tell of some “I have not deserved this," she sobbed. Here some minutes were given to ques- secret sorrow. “ Take me bome!”
tions and explanations. Louise reproached When she saw the lieutenant she started “Not yet. Dry your eyes, and know that her cousin for attempting to carry out his visibly, and, if possible, became still more since last evening Emma is the betrothed of murderous designs on the very same evening colorless. Otto, too, trembled to the very another. Me she never loved. She is as he had promised her to act like a man of point of his sword. happy as I am. And now be calm and ra- sense for a week at least. Otto pleaded the Leopold hastened toward the hesitating tional, and tell me if you will consent to re- happy results of his hot-headed folly. After girl and kissed her hand in a deferential man. pair the errors of the past. Will you be my congratulating one another over and again, ner; then he led her to the centre of the loving and beloved wife ?”
came finally the unavoidable “What now? room, drew the photograph he had borrowed The tilbury entered a little wood. The Leopold immediately unfolded his plan from Otto from his pocket and read: borse kept the road without the guidance of with all the rhetoric at his command, and an. "To my dearly-beloved Otto, with ten his master. Right and left towered silent swered Louise's objections with so much suc- thousand kisses.-Emma.'” old firs, and Louise laid her head trusting- cess, that she finally yielded. Otto was all The poor girl cried out as though she had ly against the breast of her first and only “fire and flame" Leopold's project as received a dagger-thrust. love.
soon as it was proposed, so they now pre- “ What does that mean ?" asked Madame
pared for the attack. Louise shook her Fabricius; and the old lady's eyes looked as Meanwhile, the bot - headed lieutenant handsome head as a last expression of her | though they would leave their sockets. Faited under the big linden. He was at the disapproval, and then, the lieutenant having “ That means that Otto is beloved by appointed place an hour ahead of time. Af- found an uncomfortable seat in the tilbury, Emma, who gives him ten thousand kisses. ter walking restlessly to and fro for what they drove at a sharp trot for the villa, which It's very clear, it seems to me." seemed to him an age, he looked at his watch was but a short distance farther on.
“Are you mad, my dear doctor?” and murmured:
“Have you the photograph with you ?” “I don't think I am. My name is Leo“A quarter after ten. Three-quarters of Leopold asked Otto, as they alighted.
pold. Otto, the dearly-beloved, sits over an hour more, even if he is punctual.”
“What, Emma's ?”
there, trembling more than he would, I am His monologue was interrupted by the “The one with the ten thousand kisses on sure, if he were about to lead a forlorn-bope." sound of an approaching vehicle. He hast- the back, and, I have no doubt, an equal But, in Heaven's name—" ened to the road, and behold! there was his number on the face."
“Listen to me calmly, my dear madame. generous friend of the previous evening with “Certainly."
Fräulein Emma is one of the most charming his cousin Louise at his side. What aston- “Will you let me take it for a little girls in the world ; indeed, with perhaps a isbed him, however, more than this tête-d-tête while ? "
single exception, there is not a woman in the in a tilbury, was the fact that at this moment “With pleasure.”
whole German Empire who would make me a they turned round; evidently having sudden- “Now, then, forward!”
more lovely bride, were it not for one unparly decided to return to town. This, as can Madame Fabricius was not a little sur. donable requisite" be easily imagined, was in obedience to Lou- prised when the maid announced the three “Sir!" ise's wishes.
callers, and she seemed little less than stu- An unpardonable requisite, I say—her The lieutenant lost no time, but rushed pefied when she saw the lieutenant, whom for heart belongs to another." into the middle of the road, and cried out at the last four weeks she had persistently re- “Who says so? Who says her affections the top of his voice: fused to admit.
are another's ?" “Louise! Cousin Louise! Hold! Doc- “I have taken the liberty to bring some It was now the lieutenant's turn to speak. tor! Hold on!” relations with me," said Leopold.
O madame!” he sighed from the depth Leopold and Louise looked around with “They are very welcome. Pray be seat- of his bosom,“ do not refuse your consent to evident surprise. ed,” replied Mamma Fabricius.
our union. Emma loves me as I love her“Why, there is Cousin Otto!” cried the Louise and Otto accepted this invitation devotedly, passionately. It was obedience latter.
with an alacrity that intimated clearly enough to the wishes of a beloved mother only that " Your cousin ?"
that they did not feel altogether comfortable, ever induced her-" “Turn round! turn round! Where are and hoped to find relief in a change of post- “Oh, what's the use of making so many you going?” cried the lieutenant, at the very The lieutenant's heart beat most in. words about it?” interrupted Leopold.-"You top of his voice.
subordinately, and all of Louise's accustomed understand, madame, that I relinquish all my “Well, let's turn round. I am curious to self-possession seemed to have left her. rights to the hand of your daughter-that is, hear what he has to say to us," said Louise. “And Emma?” asked Leopold.
if I can relinquish what I have never had. As yet Leopold had found no time to Otto started as though a pin had been Her real fiancé stands there.-Fräulein Emtell Louise of his last night's adventure. He stuck into him.
ma, come here, please-you, too, lieutenant. DOW took in the situation in all its details at “Oh, Emma is very busy,” replied Ma- Madame Fabricius consents with pleasure to a glance. His plans assumed form and shape dame Fabricius, with a smile.
your union. Give me your hands." with equal celerity. Louise being the lieu- “Ay, ay, with her outfit; but nevertheless As he was about to place Emma's hand in tenant's cousin, her presence at the Fabricius she will honor us for a few minutes, I trust.” the lieutenant's, the astonished and infuriated Villa could not be looked upon as being ex
Madame Fabricius rang.
mamma sprang between them. traordinary. Besides, he believed he pos. “Annette," said she to the maid who an- “Stand back!” she cried. “I will dissessed sufficient presence of mind and tact swered the bell, “say to Fräulein Emma that pose of the hand of my daughter, not you, to be equal to every situation that could Dr. Winther is here."
sir!” arise. The idea of presenting his own and “Meanwhile allow me to present my relaEmma's fiancé to Mamma Fabricius, at the tions. Frau von Ustendorff.”
undone. And then think of the consequences ! same time, had something in it so piquant The two ladies bowed.
An abandoned daughter, abandoned three that he determined to use all his powers of “ Lieutenant von-700-parbleu, my dear weeks before the time set for the wedding ! persuasion to induce Louise to second his Otto, but your name is very hard to pro- What would people say? The world would plan. nounce."
be ignorant of the reason ? And then the At first he introduced the two cousins to “I already have the honor," said Ma- outfit that has cost so much money and labor. each other in this wise: dame Fabricius, in a freezing tone.
Shall it all be thrown away? Other suitors “ Lieutenant, I have the honor of present- Ah, tant mieur, tant mieux ! ”
will present themselves, you will answer.
- 1 My dear madame, what's done cannot be
That is possible; but then I am sure Fräulein are like those heavy, well-organized English back-room in the fourth story to obtain it, Emma would rather die than consent, a sec- households where the footman is summoned what could be said to a traveler—say a man ond time, to marry one whom her heart had to tell the butler to mention to the house- from Chicago or St. Louis—who wanted a not chosen. And what fault have you to find keeper that the key to the blue-room is want- drink, at this absurd and unpopular arrangewith the lieutenant here? He not only loves ed, and she will please search among her ment, immediately responded : your daughter devotedly, madly, but he en- bunches for it. The quick-witted have the “You might say to him what the Abbé tertains for you a respect and a veneration blue-room unlocked and all its treasures dis- Edgeworth said to Louis XVI. at the foot of which, under the circumstances, are very re- played before the key is missed or asked the scaffold, ' Fils de St.-Louis, montez en markable. Not a word of complaint or re- for.
haut!'” Here was another magnificent inproach has passed his lips. You will have A certain learned man in England, on stance of the contrariety of images: any thing in him one of the most devoted of sons. Can being congratulated on his talent for small so remote as the Parker House and the a woman of your intelligence and strength talk, said: “It has cost me more effort and Place Royale, the learned, pious abbé and the of character - woman in whom genuine study to achieve small talk than to conquer “gentlemanly clerk," not to speak of the un. dignity is united with such gentleness-refuse the higher mathematics, but I felt the des. likeness of the dusty, thirsty traveler from her consent, when the happiness of two inno- perate want of it, and went at it as a study." St. Louis, Missouri, to the royal Louis who 'cent young people, the honor of your family, He was fortunate to have been able to con- was going so bravely to his miserable fate, and the interests of justice, are at stake?”
can scarcely be imagined. It was too good It began to dawn upon Mamma Fabricius Theodore Hook was an instance of the to be immediately appreciated. It takes a that she was defeated. A moment given to power of readiness. He had the talent of an
long process of reasoning in an ordinary reflection convinced her that the wisest thing improvisatore, and could make verses to or- mind to follow the lightning-flash of quick to do was to put a good face on what seemed der, and was of course a very original wit; wit which flew through this unusually bril]to her a bad business. Forcing her broadest but it was all owing to the instantaneous iant brain, producing such a series of pictsmile into her hard features, and her kind. action of his mind. Once he was asked wbat liest tone into her unsympathetic voice, she was the chief objection to dining alone,
Accident sometimes brings about a very asked:
“Why, the bottle comes round too often, good and unusual pun. A lady was sitting “ Are you, then, really so very fond of I suppose," said he.
in a drawing-room playing with a kitten; a each other, my children ?”
Again, on being told that he must write gentleman entered with a print of Correg“Yes, mamma,” murmured the gentle something for the Englishman on the death of gio's picture of the "Magdalen with the Emma.
the King and Queen of the Sandwich Islands, Skull.” The lady said: “Well, then, have your own way! I see he immediately wrote:
“See, she has the same attitude as my it's useless to contend against the intrigues
kitten." "Waitertwo Sandwiches,' said Death, of youth.”
And their wild majesties resigned their breath."
“Yes," said he, “and, like her, she is “Bravo! Two pearls in one net! This
thinking over her fore - paus ” (faux-pas). is the happiest day of my life!” cried Leo. Imagine the whirl of images which must Here was a remarkable piece of good luck pold.
have rushed through his brain before he got in the possibility of bringing a kitten and “I do not understand you, my dear doc- to that idea! The whole Pacific; those lone. the Magdalen into juxtaposition. tor," replied Madame Fabricius, drawing her. ly islands; the dusky monarch and his bride; Another bit of quick wit occurred at a self up to her maximum height.
the royal savage pageantry of an island fu- | New York dinner-party (where many good “ Allow us to remain to luncheon, madame, neral, with its palm-branches and monotonous things are struck off in the electric air of and you shall be mude acquainted with every chants; the half-naked tropical inhabitants luxury, excitement, flowers, music, fair womdetail."
meeting death, as savages always do, with en, and good wine), where some one spoke of Before her guests took leave, Madame Fa- superstitious dread and unlawful rites;
a very large and powerful man, who bad bricius became doubly convinced that the de. sea, making a dirge on the shelly shore of crooked legs. “But his head," said she, “and sires of young hearts are not easily thwarted Honolulu-all was quickly contrasted with his figure, otherwise, are after the antique." by the projects of old heads.
the trig serving-man in a London chop-house, * Probably after the Farnese Hercules," said and the king of terrors transformed into a a listener.
customer, of sober British mien, who demands This is quite as good as the story of MaPOSSIBLE UTOPIAS.
the conventional sandwich! It is the per- dame de Staël's large feet. She went to a
section of wit, the height of contrast,“ the fancy ball as Minerva. THAT would be a desirable Utopia, where sudden juxtaposition of contradictory ideas," “ How shall you know your goddess ? " one could remember at the proper time as Dr. Johnson defines it.
said one of her admirers to another. and place the good things which occur to the The late John Van Buren, one of the wit- “Par le pied - de - Staël," was the ready mind after the time of saying them has tiest of men, bad this very ready response. response.
This is another piece of good passed.
He was master of repartee. Once, in making luck, for, had she gone otherwise than as a The French sum up this species of re- a speech, he drew a picture of the evil effects goddess, she would not have needed a pedesgret by the happy phrase, “L'esprit d'esca- of a certain measure, which would be sure tal. lier"—the wit of the staircase—the thoughts to defeat the candidate.
After General Scott's famous “plate of which come to you as you are going up for Some antagonistic politician who was soup," some wit dubbed him “Marshal Tuyour hat and coat, and which you wish had listening said, “Who did that in 1848 ?” come to you before. The puns which we John Van Buren remembered instantane- One witticism often brings on another. have not made, the happy historical allusions ously that his illustrious father had done When a famous and very obnoxious criminal which we have not remembered, the felicitous that very thing, but his quick wit saved him. was being executed, or had just been exeretorts which we have not fired off, but which “I don't remember the gentleman's cuted, in New York, a gentleman quoted come afterward to haunt us, are among the name," said he, “but I think it lost him his Charles Lamb's witty letter to a friend, à severe pin-pricks which will always belong to election !"
propos of just such another event. our imperfect humanity.
A splendid piece of memory like this “Now, he has about reached Sirius," There are a happy few who can always being able to forget one's own father's Lamb says, in the imagined flight of the culcommand their wits. Their minds are obedi. name-was not to be ignored. The crowd prit's soul. ent handmaidens who bring them every thing | laughed and applauded such wonderful read- “Yes," said another, "and he had better they want, and these fortunate, quick-witted | iness.
stop there to get accustomed to the country people are so by a gift of Nature; it cannot A gentleman in Boston, on being asked at and the climate." be acquired. People of the most solid knowl. the Parker House, after the Maine liquor-law Allusions to hot climates and the inferno edge are not the ones who are most apt to was enforced, and the persons who wished are very common in American wit, and often bring it forth at a moment's warning. They | for brandy-and-water were obliged to go to a | vulgar and profane. One gentleman, who
as a race.
hated cold weather, made a contrary applica. There is another Utopia which many peo- | Utopia of a good climate remains as yet yotion of this familiar joke. “It is one of the ple sigh for and never attain, and that is conquered. Our American climate is a thing many inducements to lead a bad life,” said the power to express their feelings. There to be wondered at as a possible place for hube, “that the dreadful place is always so are certain natures shut up in an iron case man beings to live in : its sudden changes, comfortably heated.”
of reserve; an icy chill seems to surround its almost fatal cold, its unendurable heat, its This ready wit, this quick action of the them; the more they feel the less they can dryness at times, making the skin crack; its braio, is also repeated in that more useful say; such people are very much to be pitied. highly-charged electricity, the enormous preand uncommon gift of being able to remem. One lady complained that all her life she was ponderance of oxygen, rendering the most ber a date, a poetical quotation, or a conver- surrounded by a shroud of reserve which she nervous, irritable, and go-ahead people in the sation, when you wish to. Some people can could not break, and which she must always world subject beyond all other nations to quote so well and so readily, that it is as good wear, whether she liked it or not. Coleridge neuralgic, rheumatic, and nervous diseases, as original wit. Many familiar lines of poetry refers to this sort of mind in his striking giving birth to one distressing malady not can be thus pressed into new and witty use;
known to other nations, the “rose cold," or as, when some artists and architects were
“A grief without a pang, void, dark, and drear,
'peach catarrh," whose miraculous periodici. talking together about their orders, and one
A drowsy, stifled, unimpassioned grief,
ty and unexampled sufferings entirely bafle: of the latter said he had an order for one Which inds no natural outlet of relief, the whole medical learning of the universechurch, but he wished he had two, an artist
In word, or sigh, or tear!"
such are some of the features of an American quickly answered, “Insatiate architect, will
How many a person has gone through life climate, making it very fár from Utopia. not one suffice ?" – the use of “architect” sealed up in such a terrible coffin as this !
The English climate is said to be depressfor "archer” being near enough to euphony It is a living death, the most dreadful form ing, inclining one to that disease known as if quickly spoken. of being buried alive.
the “ dismal dumps," but it is far better than But this ready wit is not the property of
Then, again, another Utopia to be sighed ours, as witness the contented, rosy faces of as all; if it were, every dinner-party would for is that reasonable atmosphere in which
the average English person as compared with be a Utopia, every lonely country-house would people do not express their feelings too much;
our knitted brows and anxious, unhappy faces, become a charming theatre, in which comedy the “very gushing” are to be avoided. Peoof the bighest order would be constantly enple whose hearts are on their sleeve, who
Therefore the Utopia for all men would be acted; ennui would entirely cease; a rainy day have a universal need of a confidant, are
that power to travel which would enable eveFould not be dreaded. Happy was that Lon. very tiresome. Very few of our emotions are
ry man to find his own climate. There is a don gentleman into whose bouse Theodore
climate somewhere for all of us. Some find so dignified and graceful as to deserve univer. Hook intruded with Mr. Terry, on a wager, sal airing. We always like those people whose
it at Nice, some at Baden-Baden. Some love and, after dining and making the company
eyes fill with tears at the sound of martial the sea, others hug the mountains; but by a ache with laughter, sat down and sang an music, or at the recital of some deed of unu.
certain sarcasm of Destiny those who love the improvised song, ending with the words sual self-sacrifice or generosity; we love the
sea are obliged to live in the mountains, and * We are very much pleased with our fare, music of a voice that breaks in reading an
those who sigb for the mountains are chained Your cellar is as good as your cook; unexpectedly good line of poetry; we like to
to the oar, and must live near the sea. The My friend is Mr. Terry, the player, And I'm Mr. Theodore Hook." see the cheek blush with a generous emotion:
most perfect climate for all would seem to be but these things must be very spontaneous,
that soft, mild coolness of Switzerland, where How gladly should we welcome such an in. and instantly repressed as manifestations, or
the glaciers temper the summer heats, but do trusion ! we grow suspicious of them.
not keep the flowers from blossoming at their That would be a Utopia where there should
That would be a Utopia, indeed, where
very feet. Northern Italy has a very lovely be no more argument on the “ Man in the one never had to ask for money; not to have
climate. That of Rome is seductive, yet dan. Iron Mask;" the authorship of Junius; the to beg for charitable purposes; not to have
gerous. Our American June, and September, Roger-Tichborne case; the Beecher - Tilton
to demand of an already depleted exchequer and October, are very Utopian, but there we trial; or whether there are more leaves on the necessary medium for paying a bill! It
stop. Nothing can safely be predicted of the the trees this summer than there were last; is a very astonishing, and it would seem to be
other months, except change and direful diswbether it is warmer, colder, or wetter, or
unnecessary, cruelty to the human race that appointment, although we occasionally have drier, than it was last summer; no more arso much more money is always needed than
a better and a nobler sky than we had hoped guments (with attempts to convince) on the is ever forthcoming.
for, and perbaps deserved. subjects of religion, politics, beauty, the arts,
Another Utopia would be a world in which
That would, again, be a long-dreamed of or the “ character of the late Horace Gree. a man's occupation did not affect in any way
and deferred Utopia wherein we should learn ley." his social position. We talk a great deal of
how to educate the young of our human race No one is ever convinced by argument, as nonsense on this subject; we quote the
to the best advantage. We think, we work, it is usually conducted, but every one rises
we aim at great things, in this particular; after a wordy battle much more convinced
“Rank is but the gaineas' stamp,
but how few happy, and useful, and well-edu
The man's the man for a' that," of his own opinion. Arguments on the pro
cated people we produce! There are no colpriety of certain phrases, the use of words, with a genuine Scottish accent and a great leges, no schools, to which we can send a bog the propounding of certain revolutions in air of believing it; but we do not. We are all with the certainty that we are doing the best well-established customs, leading to angry under the slavery of old ideas on this subject, thing for those faculties which have been debate, are very tiresome. So long as such and respect certain trades and guilds more sent to him. Nay, worse, we make dreadful discussions merely lead short conversa- than we do other trades and guilds. It is mistakes. We take a blank sheet of paper, tions, they are amusing; so long as they are not long since the trade of literature was and we fill it with certain characters. The treated dispassionately, they are useful; but among the ignoble trades, and meant Grub result, we hope, will be good; but very often the moment they become long, angry dis. Street, and all that sort of thing. It has we read wretch, scoundrel, thief, murderer, putes, as argument among the illogical is apt risen within a few years to its present proud where we bad written Christian, bero, saint, to do, they are tedious. It is no Utopia to and honorable position; but we are still very and warrior. Again, we may not turn out live with two such disputants, or with one or suspicious and very snobbish about other the criminal, but we may make a crippled many. Some hungry argufiers snap you up equally honorable professions.
nonentity, which is almost as bad, because if you advance an opinion, as a dog does a All tasks, all professions, are honorable, we have not understood the boy. To be sure, bone. “I defy you to prove this,” says one, so long as they are virtuously and honestly we have to contend with that greatest of all and you are launched on an argument. “The pursued, so we say; but so we do not act. mysteries, original sin; but our own mistakes allegation is false and the allegator knows That remains among the possible Utopias, are dreadful. The greatest failures of the it,” said one such conversational shark. “I when we shall live up to our ideas on this human race are the failure to preserve peace did not know that alligators knew any thing," subject.
on earth; the awkward, and expensive, and said his opponent.
The long-sought-for and never-reached wasteful business of war, as a means of set.
tling vexed questions; and that other and which should tempt an appetite which need- you can breathe and sleep well, and on no perhaps radical failure in not yet having ed an impetus. The hungry Goth could eat account have any thing to annoy or trouble learned how to take care of and rear our raw meat, or at least endure it after smoking you. children, not to have learned the great se- it over his camp-fire, with his spear for a You must be surrounded with cheerful crets of education.
spit. The softer Italian or Frenchman whom companions, and, above all, must have a good It may be, it probably is, reserved for a he conquered needed the refinements of the cook. You must, it is presumable, be a very higher period of our development, a possible pâté de foie gras, or the filet de boeuf aux cham- agreeable person yourself, else these wits, Utopia which we may expect several years— | pignons, or the choux-fleurs au parmesan, to and good cooks, and thoughtful, considerate say centuries—bence, this knowledge of how tempt his less Gotbic digestion.
people, will not seek your company; and, to keep the peace among nations, and how to Those gods of the north, Thor with his having achieved all this, may you enjoy a long educate our young, so that there shall be no hammer, or even the Norse maiden, would life in your possible Utopia. failures. have failed to appreciate these nicer distinc
M. E. W. S. That would be a desirable Utopia where tions. Cookery improves as it gets Dearer good cookery prevailed. Imagine a journey the sun. through America, and a possibility of stop- Finally and lastly, a Utopia remains to A SHORT STUDY OF THE ping always at a Massasoit House! A lovely be dreamed of in which there will not be too
MYSTERIES. Utopian beefsteak, with all its natural juices much thumping on piano-fortes by inexperi. preserved by being broiled over a wood-fire, enced hands, not too much tooting on trompitchers of genuine cream, bread which has bones or blowing of Autes by those who are the lightness and whiteness of a summer achieving those instruments. Oh, the suffer. PLETONS' JOURNAL recently, I fell upon cloud, and coffee of the clearness of wine-ings of the slave Fine Ear in this world of certain editorial comments on an article of such should be your inevitable good fortune. discord! What a ceaseless vigil he keeps mine entitled “The Strangest Things in The frying-pan, that dreadful underminer of up! He never rests, even in sleep. The eye Life," and then turned back and read the arour national good temper, should be sent to is closed, the busy brain sleeps, but this war- ticle itself, by way of coming to some conNuremberg to be hung up with the instru- der on the watch-tower is always awake. He clusion as to their justice. Through an error ments of torture used in the dark ages; and hears the stealthy step of the burglar, he of my own, overlooked in reading and corwe should afterward travel through a land- hears the band trifling with the key, he hears recting the manuscript, and again overlooked scape in which there were no rough spots, on the watch tick. He never rests; and, in a in reading the proof-sheets, I find that the final railroad-cars which never met with an acci. crowded city, what a suffering martyrdom is sentence of the article is a little misleading dent or admitted any dust, to reach one of his ! Every hand-organ, every rattling cart, as to the actual position I intended to take, these hotels in Utopia, where there were nev. every dismal church-bell, adds to his trou- and as to my real opinions on the important er any indifferent beds or any bad cookery. ble. The nose is as great a tyrant as Helio question discussed. Tbe sentence, commenSuch, and really better than all this imagina. gabalus, and will only sniff when it pleases, cing, " The day has come to stop babbling tion, are the hotels in Switzerland ; beautiful. but the delicate ear works all the time. Even about nervous centres," and going on to urge ly ornamented with flowers in the court-yards, in the country the birds begin at four o'clock a more thorough study of the internal culture well conducted, and with admirable service, to twitter for his edification, and there, too, and forces of nervous tissue, is defective in they are as well worth going to visit for a long- he must attend to that practising upon un- this: that the word exclusively should have Buffering American as are the picturesque known horns and pipes which forms the rec- followed the word babbling. What I intended views — the dashing water - falls, the snowy reation of rustic Strephons and Philanders. to urge was that study of the nervous centres mountains, and the silent glaciers. Sucb ho- The bagpipe, dreadful creation of Scotch soli. was only competent to the explanation of the tels are to be found in England; and the tudes, miserable successor of Pan's pipes, modes under which nervous influence opbeautiful Lake Derwentwater, in the lake | imprisoned zephyrs protesting against their erates, and constitutes merely the analytic district, where Wordsworth, and Southey, homely dungeon-this is added to the suffer. part of psychology; while, on the other hand, and De Quincey, made Nature doubly famous, ing of Fine Ear in the country.
for a rational explanation of the phenomena is blessed with such It is at Keswick, Only in Venice, sweetest daughter of called spiritual the laws and constitution of and has, besides good cookery, a pretty and quiet and silence, can he rest. There, on the nervous life must be carefully investigatwell-mannered landlady, who helps you out soft waters, does the noiseless gondola con- ed. With this correction I will let the article of your carriage with her own neat hand. vey you to your destination without a sound stand as it is. But I should be very sorry to
France is the land of good cookery. It is save the musical dip of an oar. There can put myself on the record as depreciating the astonishing why the dark-eyed Celts should Fine Ear take a short and delightful rest.
value of studies in nervous anatomy and be such good cooks, and the blue-eyed Sax. This practising on musical instruments in structure, within their legitimate province. ons not. The Italians, too, are admirable colleges and boarding houses, and in hotels, This one remark, however, I must be percooks. In all the world there is not such a should be put a stop to. The sufferings of a mitted, and I think most anatomists will con. nest of gifted mortals who can cook as those patient student in a close college-room, with cede its justice — namely, that, the more peasants about the little lake of Orta, near a trombone over his head, are fearful. He is thorough one's mastery of nervous anatomy Maggiore, in Northern Italy. They go all tempted to paraphrase Madame Roland and and function, the less the inclination to maover Europe, and are highly prized even in say:
terialistic views of mental action, and the the cafés of Paris. The successful family
more absolute the conviction that life is asof the Delmonicos come from some place "O Music, what crimes are committed in thy
sociated with a series of unknown and posnear Orta, on the Italian side of the Alps.
sibly unknowable forces, and that in its relaThey have contributed not a little to our pos- One can almost imagine that Collins thought tion to these forces it presents a series of sible Utopia by their faultless cooking and of this side of human misery when he wrote problems that physiological formularies are the admirably-managed restaurants which his “Ode to the Passions."
incompetent to solve. The phenomena of bear their name.
The possible Utopia, then, is a place in. spiritualism, so far from dipping into this Nor must the colored race be forgotten. habited by people of infinite wit, good tem. higher series of relations, seem to me to be They are great natural cooks. A sense of per, and a disposition to agree with the last purely morbid nervous phenomena, always asflavor seems to exist in them which is like a speaker, supposing that person to be your- sociated with the epileptic predisposition, and talent for music. Perhaps it exists with col- self. The Utopian House must be large and having no value whatever except as curious or. While the blue-eyed Goths were engaged well ventilated, furnished with simplicity and facts appertaining to that department of psyin conquering the world, and by their feats excellent taste; your income must be just a chology designated as medical. of arms gaining an appetite, the softer and little more than you can spend, and no one How strikingly this view is illustrated in darker children of the sun (that great cook- must, on any account, practise on musical in- the biographies of acting spiritual mediums, ing-stove for the fruits and grains) were calm. struments in your hearing. You must travel and how minutely and invariably the facts ly getting dinner and were creating dishes until you find a perfect climate, one where I verify it, are points that can only be appre