Hoft. Ha! a fat woman? the Knight may be robb'd: I'll call. Bully-Knight! bully-Sir John! fpeak from thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine Hoft, thine Ephefian calls. Falstaff, above. Fal. How now, mine Hoft? Hoft. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: let her defcend, bully, let her defcend; my chambers are honourable. Fy, privacy? fy. Enter Falftaff. Fal. There was, mine Hoft, an old fat woman even now with me, but she's gone. Simp. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wife woman of Brainford? Fal. Ay, marry was it, muffel-fhell, what would you with her? Simp. My mafter, Sir, my mafter Slender fent to her, feeing her go thro' the street, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it. Fal. Marry, the fays, that the very fame man, that beguil'd master Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it. Simp. I would, I could have fpoken with the woman herfelf; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Simp. I may not conceal them, Sir. Fal. Conceal them, or thou dy'ft. Simp. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about miftrefs Ann Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her or no. Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. Simp. What, Sir? Fal. To have her, or no: go; fay, the woman told me fo. Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, Sir? Fal. Ay, Sir; like who more bold. Simp. I thank your worship: I fhall make my mafter glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple. Hoft. Thou art clarkly; thou art clarkly, Sir John was there a wife woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was mine Hoft; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter Bardolph. Bard. Out, alas, Sir, cozenage? mere cożenage. Hoft. Where be my horfes? fpeak well of them, varletto. Bard. Run away with the cożeners; for fo foon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off from behind one of them in a flough of mire, and fet fpars, and away; like three German devils, three Doctor Fauftus's. Hoft. They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain do not fay they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Evans. Eva. Where is mine Haft? Hoft. What is the matter, Sir? I Eva. Have a care of your entertainments; there is a friend o'mine come to town, tells me, there is three cozen-jermans that has cozen'd all the Hofts of Readings, of Maiden-head, of Colebrook, of horfes and money. tell you for good will, look you; you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and 'tis not convenient you fhould be cozen'd; fare you well. [Exit, Enter Caius Caius. Ver' is mine Hoft de Jarteer? Hoft. Here, mafter Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma. Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a Duke de Jamany; by my trot, der is no Duke, dat the court is know, to come: I tell you for good will; adieu. [Exit. VOL. I. Ho. Hue and cry, villain, go! affift me, Knight, I am undone; fly, run, hue and cry! Villain, I am undope! [Exit. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozen'd, for I If it fhould come have been cozened and beaten too. to the ear of the court, how I have been tansformed, and how my transformation hath been wafh'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermens boots with me. I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, 'till I were as creft-faln as a dry'd pear. I never profper'd fince I forfwore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to fay my prayers, I would repent.Enter Miftrefs Quickly. Now. whence come you? Quic. From the two parties, forfooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they fhall be both beftow'd. I have fuffered more for their fakes, more than the villainous inconftancy of man's difpofition is able to bear. Quic. And have not they fuffer'd? yes, I warrant, fpecioufly one of them; miftrefs Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot fee a white Spot about her. Fal. What tell't thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myfelf into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the (26) action of a wood woman, (26) Action of an old woman,] This reading is no great compli ment to the fagacity of our former Editors, who could content themfelves with words, without any regard to the reafoning. What! was it any, dexterity of wit in Sir John Falfaff, to counterfeit the action of an old woman in order to escape being apprehended for a witch? Surely, one would imagine, this was the readieft means to bring him into fuch a fcrape: for none but old women have ever been fufpected of being ditches. The text muft certainly be reftor'd, as I have corrected it, a quad woman; i. e. a crazy, frantick woman; one too wild, and fi ly, and unmeaning, to have either the malice, or mitchievous fubtlety of a witch in her. I have already explain'd, and prov'd the ufe of this term, in one of my notes on the Two Gentle Men of Verona. deliver'd deliver'd me, the knave conftable had fet me i'th'ftocks, ith' common flocks for a witch. Quic. Sir, let me fpeak with you in your chamber; you fhall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will fay fomewhat. Good hearts, what ado is here to bring you together? fure, one of you does not ferve heav'n well, that you are fo crofs'd. Fal. Come up into my chamber. Enter Fenton and Hoft. [Exeunt. Hoft. Master Fenton, talk not to me, my mind is heavy, I will give over all. Fent. Yet hear me fpeak; affift me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee. A hundred poun in gold more than your lofs. Hoft. I will hear you, malter Fenton; and I will, at the leaft, keep your counsel. Feat. From time to time I have acquainted you Without the fhew of both. Fat Sir John Falluj I'll fhew you here at large. Hark, good mine Hoft; And at the Deanry, where a priest attends, Made promife to the Doctor.-Now, thus it rests ; (For they must all be mask'd and vizarded) To give our hearts united ceremony. Hoft. Well, husband your device; I'll to the Vicar. Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. Fent. So fhall I evermore be bound to thee; Befide, I'll make a prefent recompence. Re-enter Falstaff and Mistress Quickly. [Exeunt Fal. Pr'ythee, no more pratling; go, I'll hold. This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd numbers; away, go; they fay, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance or death; away. Quic. I'll provide you a chain, and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. [Exit Mrs. Quickly. Fal. Away, I fay, time wears: hold up your head and mince. Enter Ford. How now, mafter Brook? mafter Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the park about mid-night, at Herne's oak, and you fhall fee wonders. Ford. |