fomething embolden'd me to this unfeason'd intrusion; for they lay, if money go before, all ways do lie open. Fal. Money is a good foldier, Sir, and will on. Ferd. Troth, and I have a bag of money, here, troubles me if you will help me to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for eafing ine of the carriage. Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deferve to be your porter. Ford. I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the hearing. Fal. Speak, good mafter Brook, I fhall be glad to be your fervant. Ford. Sir, I hear, you are a scholar; (I will be brief with you;) and you have been a man long known to me, tho' I had never fo good means, as defire, to make myfelf acquainted with you: I fhall difcover a thing to you, wherein I mut very much lay open mine own imperfections; but good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the regifter of your own, that I may pafs with a reproof the easier; fith you yourself know, how easy it is to be fuch an offender. Fal. Very well: Sir, proceed. Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her hufband's name is Ford. Fal. Well, Sir. Ford. I have long lov'd her; and, I proteft to you, bestow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doating obfervance; ingrofs'd opportunities to meet her; ice'd every flight occafion, that could but niggardly give me fight of her; not only bought many prefents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what he would have given: briefly, I have pursued her, as love hath purfu'd me, which hath been on the wing of all occafions. But whatfoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means; meed, I am fure, I have received none; unlefs experience be a jewel; that I have purchas'd at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to fay this; Love like a fhadow flies, when fubftance love purfues; Fal Fal. Have you receiv'd no promife of fatisfaction at her hands? Ford. Never. Fal. Have you importun'd her to fuch a purpose ? Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair houfe, built on another man's ground; fo that I have loft my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it. Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some fay, that tho' fhe appear honeft to me, yet in other places the enlargeth her mirth fo far, that there is fhrewd conftruction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable difcourfe, of great adınittance, authentick in your place and perfon, generally allow'd for your many war-like, court-like,, and learned preparations. Fal. O Sir! Ford. Believe it, for you know it; there is money, fpend it, fpend it; fpend more, fpend all I have, only give me fo much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable fiege to the honefty of this Ford's wife ule your art of wooing, win her to confent to you; if any man may, you may as foon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection, that I fhould win what you would enjoy? methinks, you prefcribe to yourself very prepofteroufly. Ford. O, understand my drift; fhe dwells fo fecurely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my foul dares not prefent itself; fhe is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my defires had inftance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too ftrongly embattel'd against me. What say you to't, Sir John, ? Fal Fal. Mafter Brook, will fit make bold with your • money; next give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you fhall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford: O good Sir! Fal. Mafter Brook, I fay, you fshall. Ford. Want no money, Sir John, you shall want nore. Fal. Want no miftrefs Ford, mafter Brook, you fhall want none; I fhall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment. Even as you came in to me, her affiftant, or go-between, parted from me; I fay, I fhall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rafcally knave, her husband, will be forth; come you to me at night, you shall know how I fpeed. Ford. I am bleft in your acquaintance: do you know Ford, Sir? Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave, I know him not yet wrong him, to call him poor; they fay, the jealous wittolly knave hath maffes of money, for the which his wife feems to me well-favour'd. I will ufe her as the key of the cuckoldly-rogue's coffer; and there's my harveit-home, Ford. I would you knew Ford, Sir, that you might avoid him, if you faw him. Fal. Hang him, mechanical-falt-butter rogue; will ftare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Mafter Brock thou fhalt know, I will predominate over the peafant; and thou fhalt lie with his wife: Come to me foon at night; Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his ftile: thou, mafter Brook, fhalt know him for knave and cuckold: come to me foon at night. [Exit. Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rafcal is this! my heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who fays, this is improvident jealoufy my wife hath fent to him, the hour is fixt, the match is made; would any man have thought this fee the hell of having a falfe woman! my bed shall be abus'd, my coffers ranfack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive : this villainous wrong, but ftand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me the wrong. Terms, names; Amaimon founds well, Lucifer, well; Barbajon, well; yet they are devils additions, the names of fiends but cuckold, wittol, cuckold! the devil himfelf hath not fuch a name. Page is an afs, a fecure afs, he will truft his wife; he will not-be jealous : I will rather truft a Fleming with my butter, parfon Hugh the Welchman with my cheefe, an Irish-man with my aquavite bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herfelf; then the plots, then he ruminates, then the devifes: and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heav'n be prais'd for my jealoufy! Eleven o'clock the hour; I will prevent this, dered my wife, be reveng'd on Fa'taff, and laugh at Page: I will about it: better three hours too foon, than a minute too late. Fy, fy, fy; cuckold, cuckold, cuckold! [Ex.t. SCENE changes to Windfor-Park. Enter Caius and Rugby. Caius. JACK Rugby! Sir. Caius, Vat is de clock, Jack? Rug. 'Tis past the hour, Sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet. Caius. By gar, he has fave his foul, dat he is no come; he has pray his pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. Rug. He is wife, Sir; he knew, your worship would kill him, if he came. Caius. By gar, de herring is not fo dead as me vill make him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him, Rug. Alas, Sir, I cannot fence. Enter Enter Hoft, Shallow, Slender and Page. Hoft. 'Blefs thee, bully-doctor. Slen. Give you good morrow, Sir. Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? Hoft. To fee thee fight, to fee thee foigne, to fee thee traverfe, to fee thee here, to fee thee there, to fee thee pafs thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverfe, thy dif tance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopean? Is he dead, my Francifco? ha, bully? what fays my Æfcu lapius? my Galen ? my heart of elder ? ha? is he dead, bully-ftale is he dead? Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack-priest of de vorld; he is not how his face. Hof. Thou art a Caftalion-king-Urinal: Hector of Greece, my boy. Caius. I pray you bear witness, that me have stay fix or feven, two tree hours for him, and he is no come. Shal. He is the wifer man, Mr. Do&tor; he is a curer of fouls, and you a curer of bodies: if you fhould fight, you go against the hair of your profeffions: Is it not true, mafter Page? Page. Mafter Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, tho' now a man of peace. Shal. Body-kins, Mr. Page, tho' I now be old, and of peace, if I fee a fword out, my finger itches to make one; tho' we are juftices, and doctors, and churchmen, Mr. Page, we have fome falt of our youth in us we are the fons of women, Mr. Page. Page. 'Tis true, Mr. Shallow. Shal. It will be found fo, Mr. Page. Mr. Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home; I am fwern of the peace; you have fhew'd yourself a wife phyfician, and Sir Hugh hath fhewn himfelf a wife and patient church-man you must go with me, Mr. Doctor. Heft. Pardon, gueft-juftice; a word, monfieur mock water. |