BOOK harmed thereby. Although I suppose the popish prelates II. keep it in a strange tongue, lest that if the common sort of men should hear it in their own tongue, they should perceive it to be vain, false, lying fables. And therefore credit their doings much worse in all other things. But especially when I saw the Lord's table, whereon was ministred the holy supper of the Lord, according to his own institution and ordinance, was caried away; the communion abhorred as heresy. And for these, Baal's altars reared up, and his priests and monkish hypocrites returned to their abominable, blasphemous, and idolatrous mass, as dogs to their vomit. : Wherefore I began to record with my self, and call to my remembrance, not without earnest calling on God's name for the assistance of his Spirit, mine own state and condition and to examine more deeply, both the doctrine which I had taught, whereof I perceived that of necessity I must render an account, and that within short time; and also of my duty of allegiance unto the queen's highness. Wherein I found my self so clear and blameless, that if the Devil himself and all mine enemies should do their worst, they could not have accused me justly; neither of word nor deed perpetrated against her grace. And as concerning the doctrine which I had taught, the more diligently I did examine it by the holy scriptures and the testimony of the antient fathers, the more sincere and pure it appeared; I was the more earnestly persuaded and settled in the truth thereof. My conscience did more plainly lay to my charge, that I could not revoke, say against, or dissemble it, without blasphemous contempt of God, and most horrible denyal of his Son Jesus Christ. So that I found no fault in my self, as touching my preaching, but that, as an unprofitable servant, I did not so much as I ought to have don; although I had done much more than some thought I should have thanks for. But whatsoever men thought or spake, as touching thankful reward for my labour, I persuaded my self, that I should have all things weighed after equity. And therefore II. considering both mine own integrity, that I had offended BOOK no law of the realm, and lived like an obedient subject; and also that the same men bare the chief rule under the queen's highness, and should be my judges, as did know that the sword was delivered them for defence of the good and obedient subjects; so soon as I heard tell that I was 145 exempted the queen's highnes pardon, I took my journey towards London with so much convenient speed as I might. Where I found all things far otherwise than I would have believed, if I had not been put in experience thereof my self. For I found in the place of equity, prejudice; for law, lust; for reason, will; and such as should have given sentence, according as matter had been objected, and justly proved, played both the part of the accuser and the witnesses, and also of the judge: and gave this sentence immerliately, that I should either understand that I had done, or else What that or else meant, I knew well enough. For I had the exposition thereof by his own holy ghost, [meaning bishop Gardiner,] then my good lord chancellor who was always sure at a need. Perceiving [viz. bishop Tonstal] that I stood to this, that I had offended no law, to help at a pinch, objected, yea, three or four time for failing, a matter no less malicious than false. But because nothing should be left out that would help forward the matter, this good old father of Durham, who had played three parts, [i. e. under king Henry VIII. king Edward VI. and now under queen Mary,] chargeth me with a matter, not only malicious and false, but so foolish, that I had much to do to refrain my self from laughter; I could not choose but smile. At the last my lord chancellor, after certain talk had unto me, and mine answers made, concluded, that it was not only preaching, wherewith I should be charged, the which he perceived I sufficiently defended by the king's laws, (indeed I had asked counsil of them that were learned in the laws of the realm,) but also matters touching the queens highness, which were the same wherewith he and II. BOOK the bishop of Durham had charged me before; as I learned by three or four of the bishops own servants: who had made no false report of their master before of my matters; but as they wrote home to Duresme to their companions, what things I should be charged withal; and what should be my judgment: so afterwards I found it true. And therefore upon the Monday at afternoon, which was the 30th of October, after it was told me by a friend of mine dwelling in London, who was familiar in that bishop's house, and at that time frequented it, the more to hear somewhat as touching me, that he had learned, and was credibly informed, both that all my goods at Durham were seized on, in the queen's graces name: that I my self should on the morrow be committed to the Tower; both because I had contemned the queen's highness letters; and also for that I was a Scot. I say, after I heard these things, ednsidering, how many godly, learned preachers were imprisoned, and commanded to their houses, for religion without all doubt, and yet another pretence made; perceiving, that abiding could not profit my self, nor yet the congregation, and my departure might do both; I committed my self to the guiding of the Lord, and went my ways; not making any man privy to my departing. Mervail not, good brethren, though after that I was entred into my journey, I were troubled with sundry cares; but chiefly with this, lest that I should now be apprehended by mine enemies: and so give them (that they would have been glad of) some honest colour, wherefore they might have seemed justly to have wrought on me their will. For that they were not ashamed to invent false and feigned accusations; how would they have rejoyced, yea, triumphed over me, when they might have laid to my charge flying the queen's realms; and that not only without her graces licence; but being convented before her highnes honourable council, and commaunded to attend till they espyed a time for me. You may be assured a lawyer's wit, wanting neither cunning, nor yet good will, and having full autho II. rity to say and do what he list, could easily have amplified BOOK this crime; and have formed of a small gnat a mighty elephant. But after that the Lord had delivered me, at the least at that time, out of the mouth of the lion, and saved me out of the hand of all mine enemies which hated me, I began to study with my self, and more diligently to consider, to what end God had wrought thus my deliverance. Which was not that I should now live as one that had no regard of 146 God's glory, nor of mine own duty. But that, as I was appointed to be a workman in his vinyard, and a watchman over the house of Israel, so I should now most earnestly hunt those wild swine that destroy the Lord's vinyard: gather together (so much as in me lieth) the Lord's sheep that now are dispersed throughout mountains, hills, and groves; and to give them warning of the fearful sword that hangeth over their heads. Which thing I shall not cease to do by the aid of God's most holy Spirit. But forasmuch as I knew right well, the proud papists, whose mouths are full of bitterness and cursed speech, will not cease, yea, out of their pulpits, with boasting and glorious words to carp and slaunder me, for my sudden departure, as though thereby they had vanquished and overcome God's truth, which I had set forth; and my kinsfolks and friends will much lament my state; taking this to be unkindness, that I should not make them privy of my purpose; thinking that they should have turned my mind: and also (which moveth me most of all) the weak flock of Christ, which I had fed with the true doctrine of the gospel, may by the subtil persuasions of the crafty hypocrites be brought in doubt of the verity thereof; as though I my self should have forsaken it; and thereby be offended, and brought from God: I say, for these causes I thought best to answer the malicious hypocrites; whose mouths although I could not stop, yet at the least they should not hereafter say, but that they were warned; if that they would not cease to speak that they ought not, they should hear that. they would not. And hereby satisfy my kinsfolks and II. BOOK friends, who I know, of friendship and loving-kindness, look upon my matter with a wrong eye. And also to admonish the weak Christian brethren, both to beware of the leaven of the dissembling hypocrites; who although they be clothed in lamb-skins, yet by their fruits they may know them to be ravening wolves: and also to confirm themselves in that doctrine which I have preached unto them; which also they have received; and not to be easily caried away into any other contrary, although an angel should come from heaven and preach it to them, &c. Horn a married some. But this I know they will charge me withal, and many man. Cen- others; that herein I shewed myself a carnal preacher; for sured by that I did not live a sole life, without mariage, as they do. If they live chast without mariage, let them give God thanks therefore. I do not envy in them that gift of God. But surely God gave not me that gift, that I could live a virginal, chast life, but after the maner of hypocrites. And therefore did enter into that holy estate of matrimony, (which is honourable among all men,) to the end I might serve God in pure chastity of matrimony, &c. I will not now enter in the dispute of this matter. I may be so occasioned, that I shall speak of it another time. But I will herein purge my self of this crime, whereof I and my fellow preachers are accused, as carnal, because we are maried. And I will purge my self after the order of the canon of a virgin law, as I saw it put in practice once in Cambridge, for the purgation of a holy and learned virgin, if all unmaried priests be virgins. The order was, that being accused of whoredome, four or five, as honest as himself, and of no lower degree in that university, must (after he himself have taken an oath that he is no whoremonger) swear that they think his oath to be true. Which done, the matter standeth clear; and he may justly take an occasion of slaunder against them that accuse him. Nor do I affirm before my judge, Jesus Christ, and the whole church, that I have not sinned, because I took a wife. And therefore again falsely accused, as a carnal and fleshly man for so doing. And for my purgation herein, and to prove my saying to be true in The trial priest once in Cam bridge. |