The following is an Extract from a British Publication, which if you think worthy, pleafe to infert in your ufeful Mifcellany.

A CONSTANT READER.

The Fatal Indifference: Or, the interefting History of a Lady, written by herself.

Was the only daughter of a gentle

man, who held an employment under the government,that amounted to fool. a year; yet though this employment was his principal dependence, and though he was always under a neceffity of appearing rather elegantly in the world, ftill no care was omitted to give his favourite Louifa a finished education. I was therefore inftru&ed at an early period in French and Italian, was taught all the fashionable needle works that keep young women regularly employed, without anfwering any one purpose of real utility, and made fuch a miftreís of the harpsichord before I attained my fourteenth year, that I was considered by the connoiffeurs on this inftrument, as a kind of mufical miracle and to all thofe accomplishments, that I fung with fome tafte, danced with remarkable grace, and poffeffed a perfon which was the inceffant object of general adulation.

In giving this picture of myself, I fhall not be fufpected of vanity becaufe at the very period I am speaking of, I was much more intitled to pity than to praife; my education had been elegant, but no way useful, and it rather ferved to encrease my pride, than to enlarge my under ftand ng ipftead of teaching me to be chearful, humble, and obliging, it rendered me fullen, froward and caFous, and therefore, inftead of modely endeavouring to obtain the eReem of thofe with whom I convoried, I laid an infolent claim to their admiration. My poor father, who imagined the world beheld me with the eyes of his own partiality,

rather encouraged, than difcopntenanced the extraordinary value which I fet upon my own accomplishments, and neglected the culfivation of my mind, though he hourly facrificed to my vanity. He fancied that the knowledge of a language or two, would neceffarily give me good fenfe, and believed the turn of my difpofition must be right becaufe I fung prettily, and made a figure at the harpsichord.

Alas! how feverely has experience convinced me, that a single fcruple of difcretion outweighs all the benefits to be reaped from the French or Italian; and how heartily do I wish that the hours which have been fo prodigally lavished in the attaintment of mere embellishments, had been wifely employed in the lefs fashionable ftudies of regulating a family. Withes however, will not, to use the forcible language of a modern writer,

"Roll back the flood of never ebbing time,"

and therefore from useless exclamation I fhall proceed with a fimple narration of facts. Notwithftanding my boundless vanity, and not witftanding the well known fenderness of my fa ther's circumftances, I had feveral advantageous matches proposed to me before I reached my eighteenth year; but these were in general difregarded, both because no impreffion had been made upon my heart, and because I fancied my wonderful merits would at any time procure me a hufband with an affluent fortune: At length Mr. M, who had acquired a prodigious property as a commiffary during the late war, making overtures, my father thought it prudent to confent; and as I had no objection whatever to Mr. M's perfon or manners we were married in a few weeks, and I found myself miftrefs of a magnificent house in the neighbourhood of G-fquare. Being thus happily fettled, and indulged in every with of my heart by Mr. M, my pride foon broke out into the utmoft extravagance, and I grew wholly indifferent to every e... joyment but my rage for admiration. P.P.2

In vain my husband exerted every argument of tenderness, and every a of generosity, to fhew me the folly, nay the danger of my purfuit. His remonftrances I conftrued into infolence and imagined he was fuffici. ently happy in the poffeffion of fo valuable a treasure as myfelf, without putting a difagreable reftraint upon my inclinations. The truth was, he had married me from a principle of affection,and I had given him my hand entirely from motives of vanity. He expected to have his paflion returned with transport, and I looked for a continual round of glitter and diffipation. He pined to have me more at home and I fickened for every fashionable amufement. The confe quence at laft was, that he became gloomy in proportion as I grew indifferent, and this gloominels appearing, in my conception of things, very ungrateful, I determined to punish it as much as poffible, by engaging myself abroad in an endless round of pleafure, and by making little more than a fleeping place of his house. In this inanner matters continued al· most two years, during which time we had two children; but the maternal duties were much too vulgar for a woman of my fuperior accomplishments, therefore I did not honour home the more on account of this increase of my family. Notwithftanding my continual engagements abroad, however, I was about this time informed of a circumstance which extremely mortified my vanity; and this was Mr. M. and my woman, who was a very likely girl, had frequent meetings at a milliners in one of the bye freets of our neighbourhood. Though I never felt any tendernefs for Mr. M.. this intelligence gave my pride a very fenfible mortification: however indifferent I might be about him, there was no Supporting the idea of his infidelity to me; I could bear to fee him mifeTable by my negligence, but it was intolerable to think of his being at tached to any body elfe. It was a reafon again the majefyofmy merit, and I determined, in a fatal hour, to be amply revenged on the criminal. Oye daughters of reputation, beware of exerting a falfe vefentment, even where the perfidy of your bufbind

may be evident. Let not his errors lead you into actual crimes, nor mad. ly make a facrifice of your own hap pinefs, and your own character, through a ridiculous notion of retaliating your wrongs--you can fulfer no diffrels that will equal a fall into infamy. The affliction of the innocent is an Elyfium compared to the anguish of the guilty, and the ftroke of calamity is always keen in proportion to the consciousness of having deferved it. Had I prudently confidered this, while the confideration would have been ufeful, my bioom of life would not now be chilled by the blafs of fame. Nor had the form of reproach rooted up all the flattering profpect of my future felicity. The funshine of tranquility would have fmiled upon my morning, and my evening would have been wholly unimbittered with tears. But alas I must refent where I ought to reconcile, and inftead of recovering my husband's affection, I muž excite his deteftation. It is unneceffary to explain myself farther. It is needlefs to tell you, that there are men enough to flatter a woman who has a paffable perfon, especially where the is a flave to diffipation. This was unhappily my cafe, and in the rafh, the wretched moment of my indignation at Mr. M's infidelity, fome dæmon rendered a professed admirer of mine fo very importunate, that I liftened to him from motives of revenge, and yielding to his folicitations on purpose to punish my huf band, was utterly undone. The inconfiderate, the unpardonable step I had taken was not long concealed, nor did it ever frike me, till it was published that, without making my infamy univerfally known, I could enjoy no triumph over poor Mr. M. It was however no fooner known, which was in a few days, through the vanity of my paramour, than I was overwhelmed, not only with difgrace, but with remorfe, and difcovered that my refentment against my unfortutunate husband was as unju fly founded, as the fafal indifference which originally gave birth to my crime.

Mr.

M indeed, had frequent meetings with my woman at the milliner's I have mentioned, but there meetings were perfectly innocent, nay they

were

were perfefly landable; the round of amufements in which I was conftant ly engaged, and the avidity with which I liftened to every coxcomb, that offered up incenfe at the thrine of my vanity, had for a long time filled him with doubts of my honour, and he naturally enough imagined, that fhe, who difdained to preferve the appearance of reputation, would enter. tain but little regard for the reality. Actuated by a belief of this nature, and fuppofing that my woman muft neceffarily be my confident, in cafe of any illicit correfpondence, he had frequent appointments with her at the milliners, not chufing, for fear of fufpicion, to converfe with her privately in his own houfe. Thus the very measures he took to fave me from ruin, became material caufes of my deftruction; and thus by the prepofterous pride of a wretch, who was wholly unworthy of him, the happinefs of his family was eternally blafted, while he earneftly laboured for its reforation.

Had the unhappy confequences, however, terminated here, I think it would have been poffible for a life of penitence to give me some distant idea of comfort, and the difgrace to which I am juftly caft out, might be confidered as a kind of expiation for my crime. But alas! the guilt of infidelity was to be attended with blood, and Mr. M. was not only to be ruined in his peace, but my father! Oh fir, the recolle&ion, the bare recollection of the miseries which my infamy has produced, al moft drives me into madnefs; and I am aftonifhed the laws do not cut off fuch monfters as myfelf from the face of fociety. Mighty God, look down upon me with an eye of compaffion; thefe are not the tears of difappointed pride, nor are thefe treffes now torn from my miferable head, because my vanity is no longer to be indulged. No, the anguifh of my foul is now the genuine refult of contrition, and I will hope for pardon in a future world, though I neither can look for tranquility or forgivenefs in this. But to go on. The infant that my perfidy reached Mr. M's ears, he few to me (I was then in my dreffing room) and, in a tone of the utmoft defpair, exclaimed, "Louifa! what have I done

to deferve this? Was it not enough to deftroy my repofe, without murdering my reputation; or if you had no regard for my honour, why were you loft to all pity for your helpless innocents? They have never offended, though I may have unhappily dif pleated, and they were entitled to fome little companion, though no pty whatsoever might be due to me....But madam, continued he, raising his voice into a fiercenefs that petrified me, though you have made me wretched, you fall not make me contemptible.... This moment you muft quit my house, nor fhall you enter my habitation more; the unhappy little ones will be carefully attended to, but they fhall be taught to forget every trace of á mother who has covered them with infamy, and planted daggers in the bofom of their unfortunate father.".. Saying this he hurried out, while I fainted in the arms of my woman, and remained fo, wholly fenfelefs, for feveral hours, that my recovery was entirely defpaired of. On recovering the ufe of my fenfes,O what a mirfortune is the power of recollection to the wretched! I was removed, in obedience to Mr. M's pofitive order, to my father's.---Here, inftead of receiving confolation, I was to look for the keeneft of all reproach; but, contrary to my expectations, the voice that hailed me was the voice of pity, and the venerable author of my being was almoft in the agonies of death, as they led me trembling to his apartment... He had been, for a long time, confined by the gout, and this unlooked for calamity throwing it inftantly into his Atomach beyond the power of medicine, he lay patiently waiting for the moment of diffolution.... On my entrance he was raifed up in his bed, where he held forth his trembling hands, and with fome difficulty articulated, "O Louifa, forgive your dy ing father-it was my miftaken manner of education that has ruined my unhappy child!

He could utter no more, his pangs came on him too faft, and he expired. before they could convey me from the dreadful fcene to another room..... Here I was feized with a violent fever, and lay delirious feveral days. When the violence of my diforder had fome

what